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The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

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#1

The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 11:24am

From Nerve.com of course!

Agree?

Disagree?

Additions?
Worst Onscreen Sex Evah!
"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ~ Muhammad Ali
#2

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:07pm

Can you cut and paste the list if it's not too long? I hate that I can't access Nerve at work.
#3

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:10pm

It's like eight pages long. Sorry.
"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ~ Muhammad Ali
#4

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:14pm

I didn't check the list, but Laurence Olivier humping a maid in The Betsy is pretty damn awful.
#5

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:20pm

Different Strokes for Different Folks I guess-

Myra Breckinridge? Is he kidding? That's the BEST scene ever! And "Get the Butter" didn't become a nation catchphrase for nothing, bub!
#6

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:27pm

I'm no expert on gay sex, but I seem to remember thinking that Jude Law's sex scene in "Wilde" had been staged as if his partner were a woman rather than a man (if you know what I mean).
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
#7

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:29pm

PINK FLAMINGOES. Headless chicken. Say no more.
"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ~ Muhammad Ali
#8

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:31pm

Did Jane Alexander and her husband in that HBO series TELL ME YOU LOVE ME make the list?
"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers." Thomas Pynchon, GRAVITY'S RAINBOW "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." Philip K. Dick My blog: http://www.roscoewrites.blogspot.com/
#10

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:50pm

Okay, here's the list although its kinda no fun without the funny essays:

50. CRANK
49. Argento's PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
48. TITANIC
47. JACK FROST
46. POISON IVY
45. HOWARD THE DUCK
44. BLOODRAYNE
43. KISSED
42. HOLLOW MAN
41. NOVOCAINE
40. MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH
39. FAIR GAME
38. ALEXANDER
37. SLIVER
36. MATRIX RELOADED
35. WILD THINGS
34. TEETH
33. SAVAGE GRACE
32. FLYPAPER
31. THE DOOM GENERATION
30. EXIT TO EDEN
29. LIFE IS SWEET
28. TAKING LIVES
27. GIGLI
26. NOWHERE TO RUN
25. THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER
24. ANATOMY OF HELL
23. PURPLE RAIN
22. NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS
21. SWEET SWEETBACK'S BADASSSSS SONG
20. DAMAGE
19. MONSTER'S BALL
18. IN THE CUT
17. THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE
16. 9 SONGS
15. JAPON
14. 8 MILE
13. CIAO! MANHATTAN
12. THE SPECIALIST
11. MUNICH
10. EYES WIDE SHUT
9. BODY OF EVIDENCE
8. KILLING ME SOFTLY
7. MIAMI VICE (Farrel's scene)
6. COLOR OF NIGHT
5. MYRA BRECKINRIDGE
4. MA MERE
3. IRREVERSIBLE
2. SHOWGIRLS
1. LAST TANGO IN PARIS
"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ~ Muhammad Ali
#11

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:51pm

The entire film of Anatomy of Hell should have been #1.

And I LOVED the Brokeback sex scene. It was so primal and urgent, it seemed very realistic and erotic to me. I was thrilled to see in the Top 50 Best Sex Scenes list, both The Unbearable Lightness of Being and My Beautiful Laundrette made the top 10. And I'm really surprised Looking For Mr. Goodbar's final scene didn't make the list at all. It still gives me nightmares.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

Updated On: 6/9/08 at 12:51 PM

#12

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 1:23pm

8 Mile is sort of a guilty pleasure sex scene for me. And I totally disagree with Life of David Gale being on this list. Titanic, while cheesy, is definitely not one of the worst I've seen.

Brokeback is sort of hit or miss. The scene totally exemplifies the characters, and it is very realistic.

Unbearable Lightness of Being...Daniel Day Lewis...holy cow.
The morning star always gets wonderful bright the minute before it has to go --doesn't it?
#13

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 1:32pm

What first came to mind were the two sex scenes with Jennifer Jason Leigh as Stacy from Fast Times at Ridgemont High (the first with pizza guy where she's losing her virginity while looking up at the graffiti in the dugout, and the awkward, five seconds of sex with Damone in the poolhouse). On the one hand, they should be on there because it's so obvious that the sex itself was godawful for her! On the other hand, the scenes were perfect because they were so realistic and well done.

Updated On: 6/9/08 at 01:32 PM

#15

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 2:23pm

I haven't seen most of those movies, but I agree with Crank. I could barely watch that. I was embarrassed for both of them.

I disagree with Titanic.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be enbered with your old nonsense. ~ Emerson
#16

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 2:43pm

Disagree with TITANIC.
BROKEBACK should have made it on there, if only for the fact that is the unsexiest, most un-realistic (unless the Jake Gyllenhall character was a big loose, it wouldn't have gone in so easily) portrayal of gay sex.

"Some people can thrive and bloom living life in a living room, that's perfect for some people of one hundred and five. But I at least gotta try, when I think of all the sights that I gotta see, all the places I gotta play, all the things that I gotta be at"

Updated On: 5/12/19 at 02:43 PM

#17

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 2:54pm

BROKEBACK should have made it on there, if only for the fact that is the unsexiest, most un-realistic (unless the Jake Gyllenhall character was loose , it wouldn't have gone in so easily) portrayal of gay sex.

There are many factors that could cause that scene to be quite realistic which is exactly why I found it to be not only very realistic, but incredibly passionate.

"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

Updated On: 5/12/19 at 02:54 PM

#18

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 3:09pm

I cannot believe the Chuckie sex scene didn't make it...not sure what the movie was but had Chuckie and his bride, and well...disgusting.....
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
#19

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 3:43pm

Oh, Elphaba, I had forgotten about that...lol. How horrendous!

And Taking Lives should have no place on that list. *Glances lovingly at her DVD shelf.* Angelina getting boned up against ANYthing pretty much makes my top 10 best list.
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than f**ckin' perfect!
#20

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 4:01pm

If one of the qualifications for the list is unrealistic and unsexy, what about Kinsey?

And yes, Angelina can basically do no wrong as far as onscreen sex goes.
The morning star always gets wonderful bright the minute before it has to go --doesn't it?
#21

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 5:57pm

Oh, thank God the MANDINGO scene didn't make the list!
"I'm a comedian, but in my spare time, things bother me." Garry Shandling
#22

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 6:44pm

Jack Frost sounds like the weirdest premise for a movie ever.
Like a firework unexploded
Wanting life but never knowing how
#24

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 7:18pm

yes Jersey, accidently came upon it this weekend, thought "what the F"....and got completely grossed out
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
#25

re: The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

Posted: 6/9/08 at 7:20pm

Showgirls in general is just...blek
The morning star always gets wonderful bright the minute before it has to go --doesn't it?

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