The Worst Sex Scenes of All Time!

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 11:24am

From Nerve.com of course!

Agree?

Disagree?

Additions?
Worst Onscreen Sex Evah!

[blueroses]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:07pm

Can you cut and paste the list if it's not too long? I hate that I can't access Nerve at work.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:10pm

It's like eight pages long. Sorry.

[nmartin]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:14pm

I didn't check the list, but Laurence Olivier humping a maid in The Betsy is pretty damn awful.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:20pm

Different Strokes for Different Folks I guess-

Myra Breckinridge? Is he kidding? That's the BEST scene ever! And "Get the Butter" didn't become a nation catchphrase for nothing, bub!

[Gothampc]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:27pm

I'm no expert on gay sex, but I seem to remember thinking that Jude Law's sex scene in "Wilde" had been staged as if his partner were a woman rather than a man (if you know what I mean).

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:29pm

PINK FLAMINGOES. Headless chicken. Say no more.

[Roscoe]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:31pm

Did Jane Alexander and her husband in that HBO series TELL ME YOU LOVE ME make the list?

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:33pm

I thought "Brokeback" had the worst sex scene ever.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:50pm

Okay, here's the list although its kinda no fun without the funny essays:

50. CRANK
49. Argento's PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
48. TITANIC
47. JACK FROST
46. POISON IVY
45. HOWARD THE DUCK
44. BLOODRAYNE
43. KISSED
42. HOLLOW MAN
41. NOVOCAINE
40. MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH
39. FAIR GAME
38. ALEXANDER
37. SLIVER
36. MATRIX RELOADED
35. WILD THINGS
34. TEETH
33. SAVAGE GRACE
32. FLYPAPER
31. THE DOOM GENERATION
30. EXIT TO EDEN
29. LIFE IS SWEET
28. TAKING LIVES
27. GIGLI
26. NOWHERE TO RUN
25. THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER
24. ANATOMY OF HELL
23. PURPLE RAIN
22. NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS
21. SWEET SWEETBACK'S BADASSSSS SONG
20. DAMAGE
19. MONSTER'S BALL
18. IN THE CUT
17. THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE
16. 9 SONGS
15. JAPON
14. 8 MILE
13. CIAO! MANHATTAN
12. THE SPECIALIST
11. MUNICH
10. EYES WIDE SHUT
9. BODY OF EVIDENCE
8. KILLING ME SOFTLY
7. MIAMI VICE (Farrel's scene)
6. COLOR OF NIGHT
5. MYRA BRECKINRIDGE
4. MA MERE
3. IRREVERSIBLE
2. SHOWGIRLS
1. LAST TANGO IN PARIS

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 12:51pm

The entire film of Anatomy of Hell should have been #1.

And I LOVED the Brokeback sex scene. It was so primal and urgent, it seemed very realistic and erotic to me. I was thrilled to see in the Top 50 Best Sex Scenes list, both The Unbearable Lightness of Being and My Beautiful Laundrette made the top 10. And I'm really surprised Looking For Mr. Goodbar's final scene didn't make the list at all. It still gives me nightmares.

Updated On: 6/9/08 at 12:51 PM

[misschung]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 1:23pm

8 Mile is sort of a guilty pleasure sex scene for me. And I totally disagree with Life of David Gale being on this list. Titanic, while cheesy, is definitely not one of the worst I've seen.

Brokeback is sort of hit or miss. The scene totally exemplifies the characters, and it is very realistic.

Unbearable Lightness of Being...Daniel Day Lewis...holy cow.

[blueroses]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 1:32pm

What first came to mind were the two sex scenes with Jennifer Jason Leigh as Stacy from Fast Times at Ridgemont High (the first with pizza guy where she's losing her virginity while looking up at the graffiti in the dugout, and the awkward, five seconds of sex with Damone in the poolhouse). On the one hand, they should be on there because it's so obvious that the sex itself was godawful for her! On the other hand, the scenes were perfect because they were so realistic and well done.

Updated On: 6/9/08 at 01:32 PM

[artscallion]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 1:41pm

From Scary Movie...
TRIM THAT BUSH!

[shameless]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 2:23pm

I haven't seen most of those movies, but I agree with Crank. I could barely watch that. I was embarrassed for both of them.

I disagree with Titanic.

[ray-andallthatjazz86]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 2:43pm

Disagree with TITANIC.
BROKEBACK should have made it on there, if only for the fact that is the unsexiest, most un-realistic (unless the Jake Gyllenhall character was a big loose, it wouldn't have gone in so easily) portrayal of gay sex.

Updated On: 5/12/19 at 02:43 PM

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 2:54pm

BROKEBACK should have made it on there, if only for the fact that is the unsexiest, most un-realistic (unless the Jake Gyllenhall character was loose , it wouldn't have gone in so easily) portrayal of gay sex.

There are many factors that could cause that scene to be quite realistic which is exactly why I found it to be not only very realistic, but incredibly passionate.

Updated On: 5/12/19 at 02:54 PM

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 3:09pm

I cannot believe the Chuckie sex scene didn't make it...not sure what the movie was but had Chuckie and his bride, and well...disgusting.....

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 3:43pm

Oh, Elphaba, I had forgotten about that...lol. How horrendous!

And Taking Lives should have no place on that list. *Glances lovingly at her DVD shelf.* Angelina getting boned up against ANYthing pretty much makes my top 10 best list.

[misschung]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 4:01pm

If one of the qualifications for the list is unrealistic and unsexy, what about Kinsey?

And yes, Angelina can basically do no wrong as far as onscreen sex goes.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 5:57pm

Oh, thank God the MANDINGO scene didn't make the list!

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 6:44pm

Jack Frost sounds like the weirdest premise for a movie ever.

[Liverpool]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 6:56pm

LOL How was showgirls not #1?

[Elphaba]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 7:18pm

yes Jersey, accidently came upon it this weekend, thought "what the F"....and got completely grossed out

[misschung]

Posted: 6/9/08 at 7:20pm

Showgirls in general is just...blek