Allie, tell her it's too late because our ears are bleeding more than they do when Idina goes flat in Defying Gravity. Oh, wait. I'm not blocked. Middy, read the above.
Best Oscar dress: Charlize's was nice but too puffy. Natalie Portman looked gorgeous *despite* the dress. Emmy's dress was quite nice. Halle's dress was eh but she pulled it off.
Worst Oscar dress: That abuse of sequins that Beyonce was wearing when she sang with Josh Groban. And Hilary Swank's.
Least excruciating moment last night (since there isn't exactly a "Best" moment): *thinking* Maybe Chris Rock's interview with people at movie theatres and the guy who said Riddick was the best film of the year, bar none. (Whoo Riddick!) And Robin Williams was bearable.
Worst moment(s - I feel a plural will be needed): Where to start? All of the "lesser" nominees and winners not getting their big moment. Adam Sandler's segment. Antonio missing his oil blotter. Pretty much everything that went from 5:30pm-8:40pm.
What you will say in your inevitable Oscar acceptance speech: I'd like to thank my online Bitches, even though they're nobodies that caused me to change my email address and phone number. I'd like to thank all the little people I stepped on, because, well, I needed you. That's why I'm here and you're not. I'd like to thank my sugardaddy and lover, Hugh Jackman, for giving me good lovin' and sexin', and Oprah for being an inspiration for former fat people everywhere.
"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)
"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater
"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell