Today's Dear Abby Column

[romantico]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 10:46am

Saw this over at Joe My God and thought it was worth posting here.

Pauline Phillips, the original "Abigail Van Buren," died last year at the age of 94. Here is today's advice from her daughter Jeanne Phillips, who has written the column since 2002.

http://www.sunherald.com/2014/02/18/5349411/abby-couple-new-to-florida-arent.html


DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors' social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay -- one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots! Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were "different," they apparently kept it to themselves. I don't feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? -- Unhappy in Tampa

DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I'd like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person's sexual orientation isn't a "lifestyle choice." Gay people can't change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual. From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don't blow it.

More than 30 years ago, Pauline said the same thing, but a bit more succinctly.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 11:20am

I am staying with my grandparents for two weeks and this morning I woke to this Dear Abby article under my door with a note that said, "Though you might like this, sweetie. Love, Nana"

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 11:27am

That's lovely!

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 11:50am

She really shouldn't be speaking for all of us like that, though.

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 11:56am

I'm going to sit back and just watch this one implode.

[Jane2]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:04pm

I'll never get used to the stupidity of some people. It's hard to believe.

[Liza's Headband]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:07pm

"The first thing I'd like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person's sexual orientation isn't a "lifestyle choice." Gay people can't change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual."

Uh oh. Don't tell Namo about this thread.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:11pm

Why?

Because he might call you out again for speaking on everyone's behalf?

[Eris0303]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:11pm

Imagine this woman's reaction of righteous indignation when she realizes Abby did not agree with her. Am I the only one who wishes it could have been filmed? Or at the very least see her scathing reply to poor, misguided Abby.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:15pm

Thank you theater diva. And stop poking the bear, LH. If you were so secure in the assertions I criticized you wouldn't have gone back and removed them.

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:32pm

**BOOM!**

[best12bars]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:50pm

I wonder what this woman thinks is the definition of a bigot, if it's not her.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:51pm

But that's the new thing… like in that Panti video a couple of weeks ago. They people she called homophobic called HER a bigot for saying that. The evolution seems to have gone like this: First the bullies made fun of people and then the people they made fun of called them bullies. The bullies then decided that this made THEM victims.

[Liza's Headband]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 12:52pm

"Why?

Because he might call you out again for speaking on everyone's behalf?"

No. Because he might try to unnecessarily bash me for believing that we -- yes, WE -- are born this way. Though I'd love to hear his thoughts on today's Dear Abby column.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 1:50pm

He wasn't bashing you for what you believe. He was bashing you for claiming "EVERYONE" knows being gay isn't a choice.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 1:51pm

One more time, k? I did not BASH you, that is a physical experience. I criticized you not for what you believe, but for writing that "WE all know" what the article suggested may be a possibility. Do you understand this? Why is this so hard for you to understand? Why do you not see that my challenging you on your blanket statement about what EVERYBODY here "knows" is completely separate from my own understanding of my sexuality and what the Dear Abby column says today? What is so hard for you about this? Is it because I am the one writing it? Have you noticed there are others who expressed disgruntlement about the way you chose to word your original post? Are they "bashing" you too?

ETA Oh, and thank you erik, we posted at the same time. It must be just some sort of block LH has about me.

Updated On: 2/19/14 at 01:51 PM

[Roscoe]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 1:54pm

I do wish Abby had gone the extra mile and answered the direct question -- "Who's the bigot here? YOU ARE."

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 1:55pm

I'm happy to read that the nasty-a** skank is no longer invited to neighborhood gatherings.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 1:58pm

Nobody needs their fruit jell-o molds.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 3:55pm

I was thinking the same thing. I'm glad the neighbors don't invite them over anymore.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 4:13pm

I also wonder that when the bigot's hosted something at their home, and the other neighbors realized the gay neighbors had been intentionally excluded, if they all ceremoniously got up and left!

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 4:26pm

I guess I'm just beyond suspicious, but this seems like a planted letter to me.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 4:33pm

Doodle, I know what you mean. There've been a number of similar, recent hoaxes, like the one about the kid's birthday party. I can imagine they're well-intentioned, but it just makes me doubt everything.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 4:55pm

And, yes, a planted letter certainly crossed my mind, too. When the child's party invitation story made it's way through Facebook, I wondered then if that was a fake.

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 2/19/14 at 5:04pm

Nob Hill? Hilarious.