Torn- Should I read my dad's love letters to my mom?

As some of you may know, my dad passed away this past September. Well, my sister came over to my house tonight and said they found this box of letters that my dad wrote to my mom. They were written in 1954, a few months before their wedding- leading up to their wedding. Anyway, my sister put all of these letters in a book form and gave me the book tonight. Although I am curious, I feel like this is an invasion of privacy. If my mom had wanted me to read them, she would have given them to me years ago-she passed away almost 18 years ago. Am I being overly sensitive? My sister let her daughter have this book and she even gave a copy to my daughter. She said when you read it- you will cry. She said everyone who has read it has cried. I told her I would look at it later. I think she was expecting more of a reaction from me but I just can't help feeling like these were private moments for my parents. It's amazing that my mom kept all of them. What do you all think? (and thanks for indulging me on this and taking the time to read the post)

Mom. my Dad just passed on Dec 6th at 82. When I was collecting some papers from his house I found his strongbox under his bed. In it were three letters he had written his dad from the Korean war when he was 16. I read them, They were heart rending! A young boy who joined the army to impress his Dad... My Grandfather never responded to those letters. So much was learned and finally understood from my reading the

---

Thanks everyone! There's a lot more to the family dynamics that I won't go into. NYadgal-when my sister gave me the book- it was in front of my husband, daughter, and some of my daughter's friends who were over working on a school project. It was a little awkward and it's not like I could read it right then. I didn't know what to say at the time. Also- I'm not one to demonstrate my feelings publically. All I remember about my parents is how much they bickered and perhaps these letters will give me more insight as to who they were. I think I'm going to have to work up to that though. Thanks for all of your words and your time! Snafu- thanks for sharing your story.

It seems to me, with the variables that you're choosing to withhold or disclose, that you're looking for a certain response to this. What is it you want to hear?

Here's what I think:

Burn the book and never speak to your sister again. Why is she trying to show you up -- again! -- in front of everybody????

Is that it?

---

Maybe one day you'll be ready, but it sounds like you're clearly not ready to read them now. That's fair enough.

You can always read the first and make a judgement call from there to read the rest.

I agree with Urban. Clearly, you're not emotionally ready to read them, which is perfectly understandable. But, let me ask this question: Do you think your parents would want you to read them?

---

If you can't read them to yourself perhaps your son could read them to you; you said he is an actor, right? And I imagine he is close to the age your dad was when he wrote them. It might be like hearing your dad's voice...

If all you remember is them bickering, it seems to me your mom kept them so she and the rest of the family could know that there was a time that they really loved each other.

Your sister sounds like an amazing person, too.

---

Having them in hand, would you really NOT read them? The question, more honestly, seems to be whether to read them and admit that you did.

The people in question are gone. They aren't going to be hurt by whatever you do.

---

Thanks again everyone. I definitely will keep the book. After reading all of your thoughts, I will probably read it.

I think the letters were left for you read or they would have been destroyed long ago...

---

>>>"I will probably read the book in spurts though!"<<<

Short attention span?

---

Just a word of advice. If they start using phrases like: Dirty Sanchez or Rusty Trombone stop reading immediately. Just forward them to me.

---

I agree with PJ^^^


A few years ago, my mother gave me evry condolence card that was sent to my Grandmother, after my Grandfather had passed away. I found that really strange.

And after reading them, I realized that everyone really loved my Grandfather.

My Grandmother, not so much...

I ended up burning them.

---