WEDNESDAY MORNING CHUCKLE

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:02am

"Philosophies"

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2 A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

38. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

[Link Larkin Wanabe]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:05am

hehe,

I quite enjoyed those. Thanks.

Akiva

[paradox_error]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 5:15am

Just great! Truly inspirational!

LOL

[ashley0139]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 7:47am

Wonderful boobs! I hope you are having a good morning.

"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have."
That one has to be my favorite. :)

[OnTheAisle]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 8:15am

I like I couldn't repair your brakes... that's excellent!

Have a funerific day, Boobs!

[cathywellerstein]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 12:07pm

"27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. "

amen to that. thanks boobs!

[Dirty Rotten Scoundrel]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 12:16pm

i like the honk if you enjoy peace and quiet. thanks for the laugh!

[shira467]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 1:30pm

The brakes thing - so funny. Yet not. Because when my brakes failed, I didn't use my horn...

But yeah -- bacteria culture. Hysterical.

[Mythus]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 3:37pm

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Well, that's like asking, "How long will it take you to reach Point B if you're standing at Point A and you cross half the distance with each step you take?" You never reach Point B, it's impossible. So if you're scared half to death a bunch of times, you'll eventually come awfully close to dying but you won't die.

Yeah, I know, I'll shut up now. You made my day a lot brighter, Boobs. :)

[TheatreDiva612]

Posted: 6/15/05 at 3:38pm

hahahaha, thanks boobs!