WELCOME, EDDIE VARLEY — Page 257

Can't I just boink him and remain close friends?

Oh, he'll agree an he'll like it! Mwahahahaha ... *has RSR moment*

*Pokes Eddie* *and not on the shoulder*

Mr. Shaiman and Mr. Wittman were just on the Today Show...

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CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! WENT THE TROLLEY...
DING! DING! DING! WENT THE BELLS...ZING, ZING, ZING WENT MY HEART STRINGS...FROM THE MOMENT I SAW HIM I FELL...CHUG, CHUG, CHUG WENT THE MOTOR...BUMP, BUMP, BUMP WENT THE BRAKE. . .

:: RIDES AWAY ::

got any new good pork chop recipes, Mr. Varley?

Thanks beacon...

Kissmyc, I also have some pork....chops for you and your icon!

YESSUM! To a crisp!

I wanna Welcome Eddie Varley orgy. I wanna suck face with all of you!

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Eddie, etc,

Did you all read the plotline for Patrick Wilson's film Hard Candy that has gotten major buzz (and Lions Gate as a distributor)...I think guys will think he was very brave for taking this role.

Here's a sample:

"After a frisky Internet dalliance, 32-year-old fashion photographer Jeff Kohlver (Patrick Wilson) meets 14-year-old Hayley Stark (Page) at a Los Angeles cafe. Perhaps it should tell Jeff something that her reading matter consists of a Jean Seberg biography and "Romeo and Juliet" (she even sports a very cute Seberg haircut), but he chooses to overlook the warning signs and take her up to his beautifully minimalist Hollywood Hills home, a location in which, as photographed in bold widescreen compositions by Jo Willems, Michelangelo Antonioni would feel right at home.

Although Jeff says upfront he's "very aware of the legal boundaries," he doesn't prevent his guest from guzzling alcohol. Through all the early banter, Hayley comes off as far beyond her years, like a teasing 19-year-old in a coltish high school freshman's body.

Suddenly, Jeff passes out. When he awakens, he finds himself bound to a chair and accused by Hayley of being a pedophile, a molester and perhaps even the murderer of a young girl. As Jeff protests his innocence, Hayley scours his emails for incriminating evidence, searches his home for porn and taunts him about his alleged involvements with underage fashion models.

After a brutal struggle, Hayley prevails again, with Jeff this time, at 45 minutes in, tied down on a table, a bag of ice over his crotch and ready to live a scene out of "Reservoir Dogs," only this time the bit of anatomy is more delicate and precious than an ear. It's time for "a little preventive maintenance," announces Hayley as this daughter of a med student begins shaving (offscreen) the area in question.

As one braces for the seemingly inevitable, it's easy to disengage from the proceedings by dismissing them as low-end cinematic exploitation and sadism, and there is undeniably an element of that; interior voices ranging from whispers to shouts will insist this is just manipulative rubbish.

But with more than a half-hour still to go, it becomes clear how effectively the film has been playing with viewer sympathies. Increasingly, Hayley comes off as a possibly demented and delusional ****** a very intelligent and articulate one, to be sure, and quite an expert with ropes and knots. And one is inclined to give the benefit of the doubt to Jeff, whose protests seem plausible and degree of victimization extreme."

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Beacon, that exact same storyline happened to me last weekend.

Twice.

LOL, Eddie...

I figured you wouldn't scare easily since you are a frequent visitor/captive at RSR's...

I wonder why Patrick didn't go to him for a little film prep?

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Eddie is often on Page 6. buh dum ching!

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