What would you do?

[BWFan101]

Posted: 5/31/13 at 10:03pm

A friend of mine was having lunch with her father. They were leaving the restaurant, and her father began having severe chest pain. My friend, who is a nurse, decided to drive immediately to the hospital, which was approximately 2 miles away. In route, she was pulled over for speeding. She informed the officer about her father's condition and that she was rushing him to the ER. According to my friend, the officer responded "I don't believe you." He asked her for her license and registration, which she provided. He returned to his vehicle. She got out of the car to go to the trunk to get aspirin; the officer immediately ordered her back into the car. An argument ensued. Ultimately, a ticket was issued. My friend estimated 10-15 minutes passed from the time she was pulled over until she was able to leave. She got her father to the ER. He died shortly after. My friend now feels enormous guilt. She thinks she should have not pulled over for the cop. Meanwhile, her husband, who is a lawyer, thinks the police department should be sued. I'm not sure if her father would have survived regardless. Incidentally, she was going 55 in a 45 mph zone.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/31/13 at 11:59pm

She should have kept driving to the hospital. As long as she drove In a manner that didn't put others in danger, nothing would have happened to her and she could have dealt with the cop at the hospital.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 1:45am

I've been in this situation. I did not pull over, and while I was going considerably faster than your friend (85-90 mph) and the hospital was much farther away, I was not driving in a way that endangered myself or others. I had a sibling in the car who wanted me to pull over to let the officer escort us, but my parent's condition was acute (onset occurred while we were in the car already) and I feared any delay would be fatal. I was also afraid of exactly what happened to your friend and her father. I had my sibling call 911 to explain and continued on my way. I did not ever consider stopping. My parent was in critical condition, we were in a car, moving towards the hospital. Traffic was clear. I saw no reason to stop. I would accept whatever consequences I had to once my parent was delivered to the ER. I was briefly taken into custody at the hospital, but quickly released.

Your friend should not feel guilty. We've been indoctrinated from childhood to obey authority at all costs. Her husband is right. It is quite possible that the officer's delay could well have caused her father's death, especially not allowing her to dispense the aspirin. I am not one to ever suggest suing, but this is as clear-cut a case (as it's presented) as it could possibly be. Treatment in the early minutes of heart attack and stroke are critical and that delay could have made all the difference. Sue them stupid. It won't bring her father back, but might institute training to avoid the kind of idiocy this officer presented, possibly saving future lives.



Updated On: 6/1/13 at 01:45 AM

[SNAFU]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 2:10am

By all means sue. Every minute in the early stages of a heart attack is important. The cop should have erred on the side of cautions and escorted them to the hospital and dealt with it there. A suit would have police officials begin to reexamine protocol.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 2:39am

SNafu said it better in fewer words.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:32am

I am not one to say this lightly: She should sue.


Is there any guarantee that the extra time would have made a difference? No, but that is not for the officer to determine. Upon the claim, he should have gone with you to the hospital, and worried about the charges secondarily.


Sue the callous jerk.

[Playbilly]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:51am

Ginny Sez, "Sue the bastard!"

[tazber]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 7:04am

I've heard of situations like this before. I don't know what I'd do, but if I pulled over as soon as the cop went to look up my license and registration I would have called 911 from my car and had an ambulance dispatched to my location.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 8:06am

What a tragic situation. I'm so sorry.

I agree with others - that I probably would have focused solely on getting my family member to the hospital, preparing myself to deal with the consequences upon arrival. Calling 911 is a good idea, but, we don't always think through all the precautions we can take when we are in the middle of an emergency.

I fully agree that a lawsuit, with the goal of bringing this type of practice to light, is a good idea.

I recall the story of a man who was detained in a hospital parking lot when he was racing to see a dying family member. The cop was a complete bastard and didn't let the man go into the hospital. The man's family member passed away before he was able to get inside. The police department later issued an apology and admitted their mistake.

I generally support and side with law enforcement, as they do far more good than harm, and often put themselves in harms way to protect us. But, there are circumstances when authority must be questioned, disobeyed and, ultimately, challenged.

My condolences to your friend.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 8:08am

ps - lesson for all of us: keep the first-aid kit, with the aspirin, IN the car, not in the trunk. I will move mine this morning!

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 12:34pm

" Calling 911 is a good idea, but, we don't always think through all the precautions we can take when we are in the middle of an emergency. "

True. In fact, in my case, I didn't think of it - it was just a way to get my sibling to stop hounding me to pull over for the officer so I could focus on my driving. It didn't serve any purpose other than that, unfortunately. The officer continued to try to pull me over, using his lights and speakers, demanding that I pull over.

When we got to the ER door, I turned off the car and waited with my hands on the wheel. I was yanked out and handcuffed while my sibling helped the ER crew pull my unconscious parent from the vehicle and into the hospital.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 2:14pm

The dad was in the car. Did the cop just think he was faking?

I saw something similar on some reality show a few weeks ago. Some football player was rushing to the hospital because his mother in law was dying and a cop chased him and arrested him in the hospital parking lot.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 2:42pm

I don't believe you.

[BWFan101]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 3:37pm

My friend is totally taking this out on herself and blaming herself for everything. She keeps talking of "what if I did..." and "why didn't I do..." etc. I feel horrible for her. I don't want to push her too much at this point with a bunch of questions. She is in her 40s, she doesn't look like some nut case or anything. Her father was 72. I just don't know why the cop would think they were faking it?? I hope I'm never in a similar position!

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:05pm

In addition to suing, your friend could probably benefit from therapy. She's a nurse, used to working in a structured environment, obeying orders instantly. She shouldn't blame herself for not knowing how to handle a stressful situation she has never been in and reacting to superiors in the way she's been trained to.

I agree now is not the time for questions (what questions would you ask, anyway?). Be there for her. Maybe do some legwork with a lawyer and former cases like this. Most of all, I think she should seek therapy - and I'm as fond of therapy as I am of suing - which is to say, not at all. This situation calls for both. Find lawyers and therapists for her. Offer your support and suggestions.

" She is in her 40s, she doesn't look like some nut case or anything."

Why would that even cross your (or her) mind? Are you questioning her version of the story? I don't understand that statement.

" Her father was 72. I just don't know why the cop would think they were faking it?? "

Good question for a lawyer to ask the police department.

"I hope I'm never in a similar position!"

I hope you're not either. I honestly think the stress of that drive took a few years off my life. Literally.

Updated On: 6/1/13 at 04:05 PM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:07pm

You will never be in a similar situation because this didn't happen.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:13pm

Sure, Joe, it's possible this is a sick joke - but I tend to err on the side of belief in these kinds of stories because it did happen to me. Similar situations have happened to others.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:25pm

You got pulled over and the cop let your passenger die? Really?

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:36pm

Jesus, Joe, knock it off, please. My story is in this thread. Sorry I screwed up on semantics . I should have said something like that did happen to me. The officer in my story DID disregard our 911 call and continued to try to get me to pull over.

Two other people in this thread have recounted stories of people not getting into hospitals in time to be with their loved ones' deaths because of over-zealous officers.

Things like this do happen. You have a problem with me or the OP, take it to pm, please. The rest of us are having a conversation that may save someone's life someday.



Updated On: 6/1/13 at 04:36 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:41pm

Joe, I was also suspicious of the truth in the story. There are so many that are made up on the internet that I hardly believe anything I read.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 4:57pm

Here's just one story that happened in Memphis. An elderly woman was in severe respiratory distress when her son who was driving her to the hospital was pulled over for expired plates. Instead of escorting them to the hospital (which was LESS THAN A MILE AWAY), the officer called an ambulance and wrote up a ticket. The woman died while waiting for the ambulance.
Elderly woman dies while officer writes ticket

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 5:04pm

I have plenty more to say but Ghostlight has ruled I can't talk about it any more.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 6:04pm

Her husband is right. The cop is an idiot. Not stopping for this idiot cop would have perhaps led to more problems. Your friend was right to think that stopping for the cop could have helped, not hurt.

[JbaraFan1]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 8:54pm

BWFan, I agree with others that your friend should not feel guilty, although that's easier said than done. I think it's human nature to ask what if this or what if that, but sooner or later she has got to stop replaying that tape in her head.

I think I probably would have pulled over too, thinking that upon seeing the situation, a cop would escort me to the hospital and therefore ensure a safer and faster ride there. That's the stories I remember hearing when I was a kid -- law enforcement helping people get to the hospital, not detaining them! This story has taught me that, if I ever am in a situation like this, keep going and deal with the law at the hospital.

My condolences to your friend.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/1/13 at 9:00pm

That cop must have stopped her the second she got on the road if the hospital was only two miles away.