When I am in Hell . . .

[Q]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 7:51pm

. . . I shall be lashed to a folding wooden chair in the cafeteria/gym/'performance space' of a junior high school in Oklahoma, where I will be forced to watch OLIVER, ANNIE and PETER PAN in continuous rotating repertory. The junior editions.

And all the child performers will be badly miced through a malfunctioning sound system, as will the 60-piece pit orchestra formed from all the students who didn't make first or second chair in their respective school bands.

And I will be surrounded by all the parents - with cameras and cell phones - who think I'm an agent looking for fresh meat . . . I mean talent.


Updated On: 4/8/09 at 07:51 PM

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 7:59pm

One of the best amateur shows I've ever seen was a middle school edition of Oliver. The actor who played Fagin was ridiculously gifted-- he seemed like a professional adult actor, and his comedic timing and his characterization were among the strongest I've seen from any actors. I couldn't believe he was only thirteen-- he genuinely seemed like an old man.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 8:06pm

And just to make sure it's the deepest, dankest part of hell, a teen not unlike Schmerg, will pop into every single thread, excuse me, moment of your torment to admonish you.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 8:09pm

Hey, I am in no way admonishing. I'm the first to admit that there are some pretty god-awful middle school shows out there... just mention the word "Starmites," and I'll collapse to the ground in a shuddering mound.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 8:10pm

When you grow up Schmerg, you'll have learned how to take a hint.

[ifuweregay93]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 8:35pm

When will YOU grow up, though? That is what I'd like to know.

[best12bars]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 8:43pm

Namo, don't you have anything better to do than pick on the teenagers on BWW? Seriously.

I'd wait now for your personal attack on me, but I'm bored by your response already.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 8:48pm

What would this thread be without the omnipresent grown up male Schmerg popping in? As a matter of fact, "best," when you opened a teen's thread last week and posted "Why did I open this?" I completely resisted replying, "Because how else can you post in every thread if you don't open them?"

I won't be so restrained from now on.

[Pippin]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 9:26pm

girls, you're both pretty.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 9:39pm

Eh, whatever. I love people who get their licks in and then announce they're running out of the metaphorical room because they're "bored" or whatever. It's a played out Rathian technique to let you know in no uncertain terms that they have such confidence in what they have to say that they are now going to stick their metaphorical fingers in their metaphorical ears and repeat "la la la" even though they're lying. (Yes, I know you're reading this "besty.") But not to worry. He'll weigh in on every other thread, showing his expertise, his lack of expertise, his informed opinions, his half-baked opinions, his lack of opinions, ad NAUSEUM.

[GlindatheGood22]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 9:42pm

I can commiserate with people who have had to sit through painful high school shows. Just last weekend I made the mistake of going to see Gypsy at an all-girls Catholic high school, where Herbie was played by the math teacher, Grandpa was changed to Grandma, top billing was given to "The Baloon Girl" because she was the director's niece, the waitresses in the Chinese restaurant had a dance number complete with pirouettes and a kickline, Mazeppa had a broken leg, and Gypsy Rose Lee was played by a different actress than the one who played Louise. Lord, I miss LuPone.

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:30pm

Mmmm, I smell a board war brewing...and I don't know which side I'm taking. In fact, I don't even know WHAT the sides are. Is Schmerg with Namo or besty?

Hell, if I know Schmerg, she won't side. She'll just post a Google Images picture of Care Bears hugging once they make up.

[killertofu333]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:31pm

I love how Glinda totally bypassed that over the top tirade and got back to the subject at hand.

I certainly don't mind sitting in the audience of a Middle or High School production of (insert show) if I actually know someone in said show. To give my support I'd show up and make the best of the situation and hope to god that I have a good time while I'm there. But just some random school production with even more random people? Nah.

[YouWantitWhen????]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:33pm

My money is both Namo and Besty turn on PG2.


Edit - Turns, turn, you get the idea.
Updated On: 4/8/09 at 10:33 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:38pm

Betsy doesn't turn. He pontificates.

[bdwaygirl]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:43pm

A board war? You weren't around in the good old days. Now those were some wars. With the new regime, this one won't even get off the ground.

[wonderfulwizard11]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:49pm

Most of the time, I've actually been pretty lucky to see good high school theatre. I saw a production of Me and My Girl two years ago that was wonderful. But it can a little painful. A local high school near me did Sweeney Todd this past year, and while I admire their audacity to even produce the show, it was not very good. I did love the actress playing Mrs. Lovett- she was excellent.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:50pm

There's no war. Besty's probably been just aching to say something to me for a long time now, why not, he says something to everybody everywhere? It had to come out somewhere, even if it was Schmerg who jacked the thread from Q's direction.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:53pm

Well, I think it's fairly obvious whose side I'm taking at heart, but I think it's really, really unwise of me to even be posting on this thread at all...

Oh gee... care bears...PG2, it's unnerving how well you know me sometimes. Like, actually scary.

Glinda, that show sounds mind-blowingly bad, but I still wish I could have gone just for the sheer rofl-factor! From my experience, I think private schools actually usually put on worse shows.

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:54pm

even if it was Schmerg who jacked the thread from Q's direction.

Schmerg disagreed with Q's point, which was completely on-topic. YOU attacked Schmerg, jacking the thread.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:55pm

Oh how funny, you're still here.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 10:59pm

Namo, for a guy who tends to mock the fact that I'm annoyingly omnipresent on this site, you certainly seem to pop up frequently...Do you just hover around like a vulture and swoop down whenever you see my name?

Sorry for being a brat, but I am in a terrible mood right now.

[GlindatheGood22]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 11:00pm

"From my experience, I think private schools actually usually put on worse shows."

Gonna have to agree on that one, though I did see a positively BRILLIANT private school production of Sweeney Todd. Their Mrs. Lovett gave the best non-professional performance I've ever seen. They must have switched directors, though, because this year their prodution of Drood was a hot mess.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 11:04pm

Really, Schmerg? How many posts have you made since August 31? It's right there in your profile.

And people, do you really think Q's intention when he started this thread with that title was to debate the merits of high school musical productions? No. It was about his vision of hell. Hell. Which, hilariously enough, this thread has become thanks to...

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 4/8/09 at 11:04pm

Weirdest show I've seen was at a boarding school that was traditionally all-male, but recently added girls... their male leads were spectacular, but the girls were brain-explodingly bad. It was Wizard of Oz, so imagine a brilliant Lion, Scarecrow, and Tin Man paired with a Dorothy who acted brain-damaged, and not in a cute Light in the Piazza sort of way.

How many posts have you made since August 31? It's right there in your profile.
Your profile is not open for viewing, but since you attack nearly all of my posts within two minutes of posting, I'd assume you're on the site at least as often as I am.

Updated On: 4/8/09 at 11:04 PM