White-trash Food Purgatory

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 3:19pm

I'm equal parts fascinated, disgusted, and intrigued...gawd bless 'murrica!
Just Like MeeMaw Used'ta Make!

[Calvin]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 3:27pm

THE ULTIMATE AMANDA SANDWICH!!!

Alright, this is THE BEST sandwich EVER.
Especially with the WORST case of the MUNCHIES!

Two pieces of bread, preferably the hamburger kind.
One with peanut butter on it, the other with mayo.
Put on 2 pieces of thinly sliced velveeta.
Then smash some chocolate chips on there.
Get some little STRAWBERRY JELLO bits on top of that.
Then a piece of bolonie.
Slap on some cold spaghettios.

AND TADAH!!!! THE BEST SANDWICH SOMEONE COULD WISH FOR!! mmmmmm...................

Careful, it gets a little messy!

Particularly if you don't have a bucket to catch the vomit after the first bite!

It's still better than cooking your food in the dishwasher, though. Updated On: 2/5/08 at 03:27 PM

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 3:47pm

Crispy Fat

Here's a recipe that my Dad used to love: When you're cooking steaks, trim off the fat and set it aside. Dip the fat in olive oil, sprinkle with oregano & throw it on the grill until it is nice and crispy on the outside. Remove from the grill and enjoy! The drink of choice with this snack is beer, healthy goody.

Art


I can't even.

And re: the dishwasher lasagna...I KNOW, right?!?! WTF is UP with people?!

[Calvin]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 3:54pm

Oh, jaily. This is all just too, too fascinating. The way people need to add things to things that are perfectly OK to eat by themselves, like frozen pizza.

Poor Man's Pizza

When we are a little low on cash, and we decidde not to order pizza out, this is what I do for the family... And believe it or not, THEY do EAT it. My children have actually grown up on it. Here goes:

By any store frozen pizza, then take any extras in the kitchen you may have. In our case, my husband likes: cheese, bologna, spiced lunchoen loaf, salami, any deli meat you may have. Cut these up in small peices and place on pizza, then top with cheese. the cheese may be any combination. Then cook to the frozen pizza's directions, a little longer if you have a lot of items on the pizza. Then serve with french fries. I call this "The Poor Man's Pizza".

Wouldn't it be more frugal just to eat the pizza and save the luncheon meat for sandwiches?

Of course, an ex of mine used to put balsamic vinegar on vanilla ice cream. I have to admit: It wasn't bad.

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 3:59pm

It's becoming clear to me that America is, perhaps unbeknownst to the rest of the world...a nation of people who are irrationally addicted to mixing peanut butter with everything in the pantry.

You'd think it was a nation of perpetually pregnant people.

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:00pm

Jaily--that is kinda like chicharrones, or pork rinds--fairly common in Latin countries and in the South.

My grandma used to dress up frozen pizzas too--except she just put on extra cheese.

We used to eat butter and sugar sandwiches...but that's not so gross right?

[peach]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:01pm

I love how the dishwasher lasagna lady likes to make a little "criss cross pattern on top" with the last lasagna noodle. How elegant!


Updated On: 2/5/08 at 04:01 PM

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:03pm

Deee-vine: Potato chips in a ham sandwich with mayo.
Jalapenos on popcorn (although as yer buddy Borstal gets older, them Jalapenos do a number on my tummy...the following morning? YEE-OWCH!)


And as a kid I liked sugar on my salad with Italian dressing. Haven't tried it lately.

Oh, and I highly recommend Hershey's chocolate syrup in Coke!

[Calvin]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:03pm

If you click on the dishwasher recipe link, it even gives you wine suggestions. And says "surprise your guests" by preparing dinner in the dishwasher.

I'm suddenly reminded of Kramer making dinner in the shower and announcing it to his guests after the meal was through.

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:04pm

Darling, ALL of this is popular in the South.

And of COURSE, Peach! I mean, when you're unveiling your aluminum-foil Cascade masterpiece, you simply cannot have your guests looking at a vast expanse of cheese and bubbly Ragu...how gauche!

[Calvin]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:07pm

I must say: Although Cheese Whiz, Velveeta, peanut butter and butter all are finely represented, there's a surprising drought of sour cream and mini marshmallows there.

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:10pm

I used to eat chips in my sandwiches too, Borstal. No mayo tho--evah!

Cal--if you need a mini marshmallow recipe, make the Pistachio Jello Mold that has been at every church dinner since the Last Supper--they woulda had it then except it's trayfe.

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:17pm

Meaty Green Sweets

My mother-in-law would kill me if I didn't make this stuff, which she and I eat on turkey and ham. No holiday is complete without it. I used to make my aunt's recipe, which involved lots of melting marshmallows, bowls of ice, and took forever.

Here is the easy way:

1) Drain one can of crushed pineapple;
2) Use a food processor to grind up 3 or 4 stalks of celery;
3) Put that on draining pineapple;
4) Put big block of cream cheese in food processor;
5) Cream it up and add 2 small boxes green Jello, pineapple, celery and a tub of Cool Whip;
6) Whip it up and put it in a bowl;
7) It sets immediately if you have the pineapple cold.

My husband won't eat it on meat. He just eats it for dessert. Yuk! Celery in dessert, ha ha...


Hello, Nightmare of Family Reunions Past.

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:17pm

TicTac™ Pie

Ingredients:

1 graham cracker pie crust
2 8 ounce packages of cream cheese - softened
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon grated lemon peel
4 boxes of orange TicTac™ candies
Preheat oven to 350. Beat cream cheese slightly. Add eggs, sugar, vanilla, and lemon peel. Beat the mixture until it is light and fluffy. Add TicTac™ candies and mix lightly. Pour into crust. Bake until firm, about 25 minutes. Sprinkle TicTac™ candies over the pie and allow it to cool. Refrigerate at least 8 hours.


http://www.tackyliving.com/article.php?id=63

[peach]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:17pm

Jaily - she musn't forget the parsley sprig garnish on that lasagna!

I have to agree with Borstal -- chips on the sandwich is a yummy thing.

But cooking dinner in the dishwasher? Ack! Eww!
What's next? Vacuum cleaner chocolate mousse? Litterbox crab cakes?


Updated On: 2/5/08 at 04:17 PM

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:23pm

I'm waiting for Slop Jar Fondue.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:24pm

"I'd also be interested in raw bull balls (if they're safe to eat).

Thank you for your help.

Laurie Driggs"





How can I eat lunch now?

[peach]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:26pm

I must humbly admit, in my current state of knocked-up-ed-ness, the pineapple cream cheese, jello, cool whip thing doesn't sound half bad...(I'd leave out the celery, and would put it in a graham cracker crust rather than on ham, but just sayin...).

Then again, it could just be the hormones talkin'.

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:26pm

Mamow and Papow's Treet Meat

When I was a child, I sometimes spent the night with my Mamow (Grandmother) and Papow (Grandfather). We always had fried chicken for supper. My job was to decide how brown to let the gravy get. Light brown gravy was called "pooting gravy" and dark brown gravy was called "farting gravy" (My grandparents were from the country).

For breakfast, we ate biscuits with melted butter and sugar inside or we mixed butter with Kayro syrup and spread it on white bread. My Mamow also fried Treet Meat (it's like SPAM).

The best part was when my Papow poured coffee out into his saucer and let me sip it. He would sip it too and say" Aaahmmmm - that's good!"

TENNESSEE

Mmm, Scatalogical Gravy. That gits ya right where y'live, don't it?

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:32pm

"Then again, it could just be the hormones talkin'."




It is, darling.


Shhhhhhh.

[lildogs]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:32pm

My Mammie fried Spam too! Yes, we called her Mammie.



Dorothy: Mammy? I don't think I ever heard of anybody being called Mammy.

Rose: What about Mrs. Eisenhower?

Dorothy: Mammy Eisenhower. I think only the Nixon kids were allowed to call her that.

[peach]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:39pm

From the pizza recipe...

"spiced luncheon loaf"

(dry heave)

It reminds me of when I was a kid. My grandma had this "loaf" type lunch meat she liked to serve to us on sandwiches. It was basically a square-shaped, spicy bologna with little olive looking "eyes" in it (red centers and green around the rim). It was NASTY!

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:40pm

Ahh, yes, Olive Loaf!

[peach]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:46pm

^^^ Yes, that would be it! What a great photo of it too!

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 2/5/08 at 4:47pm

Yeah, it's a little TOO good...being able to see the texture that clearly kind of makes me throw up a little in the back of my mouth.

Which, oddly, if I recall, is about what it tastes like anyway.