Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

#1

Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 4:43pm

What do you think is the WITTIEST song lyric ever written for a musical?

Mine is:

"Always True To You in My Fashion": (Cole Porter)

If a custom-tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet,
When the vet begins to pet, I cry "Hooray!"
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.

(edited for content)

What's yours?

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 04:43 PM

#2

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 4:49pm

I know that this is a cliche, but my vote must go to "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd.

---

"Goodness is rewarded. Hope is guaranteed. Laughter builds strong bones. Right will intercede. Things you've said I often find I need, indeed. I see the world through your eyes. What's black and white is colorized. The knowledge you most dearly prized I'm eager to employ. You said that life has infinite joys."

#3

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 4:52pm

"A Little Priest":

Seems a downright shame.
Seems an awful waste.
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's 'is name has... had... has...
nor it can't be traced.
Bus'ness needs a lift...
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift, as a gift...
If you get my drift...
Seems an awful waste.
I mean, with the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...
Good, you got it.

(edited for content)

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 04:52 PM

#4

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 4:57pm

I just have to throw in one line of Ira Gershwin's that's always given me a giggle -

"I'm bidin' my time,
cause that's the kind of guy I'm."

#5

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 4:58pm

"The Love of My Life" from Brigadoon. Any nympho rant is okay in my book.


MEG:
At sixteen years I was blue and sad.
then father said I should find a lad.
So I set out to become a wife,
An' found the real love of my life.


(edited for content)

---

"ubiquitous"

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 04:58 PM

#6

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:01pm

MaryEThel, THANK YOU!
Always true to you is not only my favourite CP song, but my favourite number I have EVER performed!

#7

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:02pm

I have two...

Bill from ShowBoat

"I used to think I would discover
a perfect lover
some day.
I knew I'd recognize him,
if ever he came around my way.
I always used to fancy, then,
He'd be one of those God-like kind of men
With a giant brain and a noble head,
like the hero's bold in the books I read.

(edited for content)

The song is quite humorous, but no one notices it because it is sung at such a dramatic point in the show.

The other one is "The More you Ruv Someone" from Avenue Q.

---

"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive. "Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot." "No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one." Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 05:02 PM

#8

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:02pm

Along those lines, Andy:

"I heared a lot of stories and I reckon they are true
about how girls are put upon by men.
I know I mustn't fall into the pit.
But when I'm with a feller I forgit.
I'm just a girl who can't say no.
I'm in a terrible fix.
I always say 'Come on, let's go,' "
just when I oughta say 'Nix.' "

#9

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:02pm

"Bidin' My Time":

I'm biding my time 'cause that's the kinda guy I'm,
while other folks grow dizzy,
I keep busy bidin' my time.
Next year, next year somethings bound to happen.
This year, this year I'll just keep on nappin'....and bidin' my time,
'cause thats the kinda guy I'm.
There's no regretin' when I'm settin',
bidin'my time.
I'm bidin'

GUYS: my time
GINGER: bidin' my time
GUYS: For that's the kinda guy
GINGER: that's the kinda guy I'm
GUYS: beginning on a Monday

ALL: right through Sunday, bidin' my time. Oh, I'm bidin', bidin'

GUYS: For that's the kinda guy I'm...

GINGER: that's I'm......

GUYS: chasin' away flies, how the day flies, bidin' my time.

GINGER: bidin' , bidin' my time

ALL: Strangers, so long, I'll just go on, bidin', bidin', bidin' my time...



P.S. Thanks, Andy, for supplying your own lyrics...

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#10

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:08pm

DG, In case you're interested, here's the FULL lyrics:

It ain't so much a question of not knowin' hut to do
I knowed what's right an' wrong since I've been teen.
I heared a lot of stories an' I reckon they're true
About how girls are put upon by men.
I know I mustn't fall into the pit

But when I'm with a feller
I fergit!

(edited for content)

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 05:08 PM

#11

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:08pm

DGrant, on those lines...

Annie: Would ya build me a house?/ All painted white
Cute an clean an purty and bright

Will: Big enough fer two - but not fer three

Annie: Suposin' that we should have a third one...

Will: He'd better look A LOT LIKE ME!

---

"ubiquitous"

#12

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:08pm

M_E - I'm sorry, I thought when you said the wittiest lyric, you actually meant the part of the lyric that you thought was witty. I'm glad to see, however, that your passive-aggression is in fine form.

#13

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:10pm

YOU'RE WELCOME, Judy!

I think Cole Porter is THE wittiest lyricst ever!!!

Did you know that all of his lyrics (including to songs never performed) have been published in THE LYRICS OF COLE PORTER? Your library probably has a copy...

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#14

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:11pm

One of my favorites is from 'You're Nothing Without Me' (CITY OF ANGLES):

You're in my plot
I'm still you're creator
I call each shot
I'm your private dictator.

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"I'm so looking forward to a time when all the Reagan Democrats are dead."

#15

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:13pm

"The More You Ruv Someone":

spoken)

KATE MONSTER
Why can't people get along and love each other, Christmas Eve?

CHRISTMAS EVE
You think getting along same as loving? Sometimes love
right where you hating most, Kate Monster.

KATE MONSTER
Huh?

(sung)

CHRISTMAS EVE
The more you love someone,
the more you want to kill 'em.
The more you love someone
the more he make you cry.

Though you are try
for making peace
with them and loving,
that's why you love
so strong you like to
make him die!

(edited for content)

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 05:13 PM

#16

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:19pm

The More You Ruv Someone cracked mE up when I saw Ave Q. It is so clearly a rip at Maria and Anita singing I Have A Love from WSS. Very funny.

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"ubiquitous"

#17

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:22pm

Well, DG, it's my understanding that the words of one song make up a lyric. Hence, the phrase-LyricS by Oscar Hammerstein.

Part of a song lyric is either something like the verse, the chorus, or the refrain--just some PART of the lyric. But to each his own, I guess, while I continue to wildly post the lyric of various songs...


"All Er Nuthin":

Will:
You'll have to be a little more standoffish
When fellers offer you a buggy ride.

Annie:
I'll give a imitation of a crawfish
And dig myself a hole where I can hide.

Will:
I heared how you was kickin' up some capers
When I was off in Kansas City, Mo.
I heard some things you couldn't print in papers
From fellers who been talkin' like they know!

(edited for content)

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 05:22 PM

#18

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 5:27pm

"Without Me You're Nothing:


STINE:

You are some gumshoe
You just don't think well
Get this, dumb gumshoe,
You come from my inkwell

Is your mouth lonely
With one foot in there
Stone, your brain only
Holds thoughts i put in there

(edited for content)

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 05:27 PM

#19

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 6:53pm

"I know that this is a cliche, but my vote must go to "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd."

It may be 'cliche' but that is because it is 110% true.

---

"One no longer loves one's insight enough once one communicates it."

The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.

#20

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 6:57pm

At the moment I'm rather fond of:

The chimbley's smokin'
The roof is leakin' in
But he don't seem to care
He can be happy with just a sip of gin
I even loves him when his kisses got gin.

---

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#21

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 7:17pm

"Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man":

JULIE
Fish got to swim, birds got to fly,
I got to love one man till I die
Can't help lovin' dat man of mine.

MAGNOLIA
That's it...

(QUEENIE, re-entering, stops in her tracks and looks puzzled)

JULIE
Tell me he's lazy, tell me he's slow,
Tell me I'm crazy (maybe I know)
Can't help lovin' dat man of mine.

(edited for content)

---

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

Updated On: 1/13/05 at 07:17 PM

#22

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 8:19pm

Basically everything listed, plus "Moments in the Woods" and "I Know things Now"

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Rosencrantz: "Be happy - if you're not even HAPPY what's so good about surviving? We'll be all right. I suppose we just go on." - from Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

#23

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 8:39pm

i have one letter for you


Q

#24

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/12/05 at 9:32pm

pretty much any Sondheim....especially Assassins.

#25

re: Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical

Posted: 1/13/05 at 1:42am

I always thought

"We've no time to sit and dither,
While her withers wither with her."

was pretty clever. Now Mary_Ethel I challenge you to quote the Into the Woods Prologue.

Speaking of whole songs though: Another Hundred People from Company; Chrysanthemum Tea from Pacific Overtures; I'm Still Here from Follies; The whole score for Sunday in the Park with George.