Wittiest Lyric Ever Written For a Song in a Musical — Page 2

I've always been partial to "A Secretary Is Not A Toy"

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A lot of Gilbert and Sullivan, but for some reason my favorite is "We observe too great a stress / On the risks that on us press / And of reference a lack / To our chance of coming back."

Simple, yet brilliant wordplay.

How about "The Letter of the Law" from Foxy and "Ringaroundarosy" from Candide (which I'm currently quoting in my signature)?

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"...She'll grow older by the hour/And be hopelessly shattered/by Saturday night..."

The wittiest internal rhyme in musical theatre.

Here is the middle section of "Ringaroundarosy" from Candide -- perhaps the funniest song about syphillis ever?

Oh, my darling Paquette
she is haunting me yet
with a dear souvenir
I shall never forget
'twas a gift that she got
from a seafaring Scot
he received he believed
in Shallot!

In Shallot from his dame
He was certain it came
with a kiss
from a Swiss
(She'd forgotten his name)
But he told her that he
had been given it free
by a sweet little cheat in Paree!

Then a man from Japan
then a moor from Iran
though the moor isn't sure
how the whole thing began
but the gift you can see
had a long pedigree
when at last
it was passed
on to me

Well, the moor in the end
spent a night with a friend
and the dear souvenir
just continued the trend
to a young English lord
who was stung they record
by a wasp in a hospital ward

Well, the wasp on the wing
had occasion to sting
a Milano soprano
who brought home the thing
to her young paramour
who was rendered impure
and forsook her to look for the cure

Thus, he happened to pass
through Westphalia, alas
where he met
with Paquette
and she drank from his glass
I was pleased as can be
when it came back to me
Makes us all just a small family.

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Updated On: 1/13/05 at 01:35 PM