You go, Girl! — Page 2

Matt, I didn't make the law. I'm just saying that on the books, you can't hit someone. The A-hole had the option of calling the cops so he did. Someone else may not have.

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Matt!!!! I am not your foe! I totally agree with you that some laws are ridiculous. I'm only stating a fact about a law on the books. I'm not saying whether it's fair or not. I'm sure that the slap wasn't hard enough to even leave some nice red marks!

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Jane2 - I know you are not my foe. I just think that calling the cops for a slap in the face that was provoked is beyond ridiculous.

etoile - I disagree with you about "unwanted physical contact" to a certain degree. I don't want people stepping on my feet trying to get to their seats in the theatre, but I'm not going to call the police if they do so. The slap was a reaction to a comment meant to be abusive. As far as I'm concerned, though it may be unlawful, it was fair and deserved. It's interesting that freedom of speech allows people to abuse each other verbally, but an actual SLAP is a criminal offense. I probably would not have slapped him myself for fear of being slaughtered, but I commend Richard on his bravery and self-conviction. I would love for every bully to realize that there might be physical consequences to their words. Perhaps they would think twice about their behavior. If I had made such a comment that caused another person to feel the need to physically assault me, I would know that I probably deserved it. Verbal or physical, abuse is abuse. What Richard did was no worse than what the man did to him. And despite what you think, the law is not so protective that it ignores physical acts that are a result of taunting or being provoked.

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That makes Liza the new Zsa Zsa.

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Matt, just thought of another ridiculous law. I was having a conversation with one of the crew members at the last theatre I worked in. We were talking about some equipment that was left laying around the theatre at the end of the night, and how it was necessary for her to clean it up before we locked up and went home. Why was it so important she clean up right then instead of waiting until the next day? Because if someone should decide to break into the theatre during the night, let's say with intentions to steal something, and this criminal should trip and fall or be hurt in some way by a falling piece of equipment, this criminal can sue the theatre.

Also, I heard a news story today that a store owner was arrested because he shot a man who was about to hold him up. I don't remember the details, but the victim was the one who was arrested, and not the criminal.

I've also heard similar cases concerning people who cause injury to someone who has broken into their home. The homeowner turns out to be the criminal, and is sued by the would be thief, rapist, murderer, who knows what the intent was?

Go figure.

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Matt, is it possible that having been hurt by words in the past, perhaps you are over-identifying with Richard S. just a little? I think it's important to make the distinction between WANTING to slap someone, and actually doing it. There's is nothing wrong with feeling the desire to react in such a manner...but the DOING of it is a separate issue. I am generally an advocate of non-violence to a fault, but that doesn't mean I don't feel the impulse to strike out when my buttons are pushed. Why, just yesterday I interacted with someone during the course of my workday who, on an emotional level, I would like to have slapped silly. And any number of people would have felt it was justified.

There's something else that bothers me about this whole affair, but I've been having trouble putting my finger on it. Then my Assassins CD started to play, and I thought "Jody Foster". The Accused.

It's the "he asked for it" justification of violent behavior that is troubling me. It's not that big of a leap to see the same rationalization being applied in a sexual assault situation, the "she asked for it" defense. As a college student, I lived in a house with a girl named Wanda who rented and lived in the fruit cellar for $10/month (...housing was hard to come by...). One night, she was assaulted in her room by a guy who had seen her dancing at a club earlier in the evening. They didn't know each other, but he followed her home. Now, Wanda liked to dress in a seductively, and not for nothin', the quotation under the photo in her high school yearbook read "backfield in motion". Wanda image was that she was "hot stuff". Long story short, her attacker pitched the "she was asking for it" defense in court (Ravenna, Ohio, 1972). She was attacked by someone SHE DIDN"T EVEN KNOW in her own room. But because the perception was that she was a floozy, he got off.

My point is, that justifying a criminal act, even ones that have a superficially humorous overtone (like slapping), is the top of a very slippery slope.

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Updated On: 3/26/04 at 07:06 AM

Matt, I'm not suggesting that Richard should be locked up. And I'm not suggesting that that verbal abuse isn't serious.

But as innocuous as it seems, or as provoked as it may have been, it still fits the definition of assault. Would I have reported it? Probably not. But then again, I wouldn't have made an assinine comment in the first place.

We all bring our past experiences to the table when arguing, um, dicussing, something like this. It colors our perception. No doubt the Wanda incident has shaped my reaction as much as your experiences have shaped yours. That's just how it is.

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Good point, but what I keep saying, and keep being misunderstood, is that I *believe* that laws don't see the gray areas, and that if you physically attack someone, you have broken the law. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter what they said to you.

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interesting. is it an accident that in your post you have the pro-lifer getting slapped when i had the former president of n.o.w. getting whacked by a pro-lifer?

and i wish everybody was as opened minded as you, matt. it would have kept a few charges from being pressd and saved me thousands in legal fees!

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Jane2 - I completely understand you and that is exactly what my last reply addressed. We're using different forms of the word "believe". But as etoile said, there are criminal forms of verbal abuse as well, so sometimes it does matter what a person says or how they say it. If the person slapped said something that is considered disorderly behavior, charges can be filed against them, too. Yes, slapping someone is against the law. And yes, I think in some instances it is quite unfair to file charges against them. But hey, the world is unfair. I'm just being vocal about it.

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