murdered woman's dad races to NYC to appear on TODAY- Page 2

[mejusthavingfun]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 8:38pm

and only one network did a Cheney report on the weekend....the biggest crook of our time.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 9:29pm

Mejust, that baffles me, too.

[Jane2]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 9:48pm

Nothing shocks me anymore. We've seen just about everything. I can believe anything about human behavior at this point.

[best12bars]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 9:55pm

SNAFU---I definitely agree with you that these people aren't in their right minds at the moment of pouncing, and that the media is taking FULL advantage of them for ratings.

No question about that.

But I also know IN GENERAL that if a loved one died in a tragic way, I wouldn't be "entitled" to a living room makeover, or a star spot, all expenses paid, on the Today Show.

I definitely blame the media more than I do the victims of these tragedies... but I also have to wonder what kind of person would quickly hop a plane and give a nationally televised interview on the "Today Show" ONE DAY after learning their daughter's (and unborn grandson's) fate?

[StageManager2]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 9:57pm

I thought the unborn baby was female. Is Chloe a gender-neutral name?

[best12bars]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 10:03pm

Okay, female.

You can see how much I've been tuning in to this story, SM2.

This kind of "media circus" DISGUSTS me, and I keep it at arm's length at all times.

It makes me ill. I don't want to feed it for one minute. I don't want the Nielsens or any other ratings evaluator to think for ONE MINUTE that I'm tuning in to watch this crap.

I am not.

Updated On: 6/25/07 at 10:03 PM

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 6/25/07 at 10:07pm

What puzzles me about this crime and similar ones, is why they take place to begin with. Do the perpatrators really think they can get away with it?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 1:39am

This kind of coverage is the direct result of The American Myth of Closure, a myth perpetrated by television. It's been repeated so much that now the boob tube is considered the conduit for the very closure that never really comes, but as long as producers can allude to it, you can bet that relatives of victims of horrible crime will be ready for their close-ups. It's as inevitable as teddy bear and balloon memorials.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 9:58am

Namo nailed it. This self-exploitation is now considered part of the Kubler-Ross steps in grief. Denial, anger, acceptance -- TODAY show. We expect mourning to be public, because we are bombarded with garishly public acts of pseudo-mourning. We think an interview in an early moment of crisis is required for our closure and the society's. It's one of the countless lies perpetuated by our ever more shallow culture. Even grief is a "commodity," to be packaged and used to sell Cialis.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 10:17am

Kubler-Ross's final stage of Acceptance was from her first book, ON DEATH AND DYING, in which she described the stages the DYING go through, acceptance being the final one before they pass.

It constantly annoyed her that those 5 stages were applied to the LIVING and their process of grief.

In her final book before she died, ON GRIEF AND GRIEVING, Kubler-Ross wrote that "Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being all right or okay with what happened. This is not the case. Most people don't ever feel okay or all right about the loss of a loved one. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and that this new reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality or make it okay, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it."

The notion of "closure" peddled on television is psychologically bogus.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 10:28am

Points well taken.

[best12bars]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 2:10pm

"The notion of "closure" peddled on television is psychologically bogus."


That's because they're looking for "clothes-ure," when someone dies.

You know, a brand new wardrobe or armoire to put their clothes in, provided free-of-charge by a ratings-hungry TV show.

[gymdudeva]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 6:35pm

Yes. In a similar vein, anytime there is a tragedy like a school shooting or something, the media pretty much tells those involved what to feel. It's like they have to follow the script. I saw one interview right after the VA Tech shootings, with an eyewitness. The boy was very calm, collected, and matter-of-fact. When they cut back to the news anchors, they said that, well, that young man MUST be in shock and the reality hadn't hit him, and he would be in for a very rough time emotionally in the following weeks, and it would take lots of therapy for him to get back to normal!

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 7:04pm

It's very true. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Many of the people who trotted out the "Well, the Ramseys are obviously gulty because they didn't act like grieving parents" would do well to remember that. I didn't know there was a standard for grief-stricked parents to act...

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 11:10pm

Well one way is for a mom who just lost her pageant queen daughter to NOT refer to her as "that little girl," as in "I loved that little girl."

It's always better when a mom doesn't objectify the deceased on camera, in my opinion.

Oh yeah, and another thing. It would do well for all of these people who DO head for the cameras to understand that since they are performing, people will have a right to criticize said performances.

[DG]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 11:17pm

I had to spend time in a waiting room today, and I ended up looking through an "O" magazine for the first time. In it, she had an interview with a woman whose ex-husband had killed her four children and then himself while she was shopping. It was a follow-up interview to an appearance this woman made on her show earlier.

I thought of this thread while I read the interview.

For what it's worth, they included the information that they had received thousands of responses to the original broadcast, including 16 who claimed to have halted their suicide plans because of this woman's strength to 'persevere'.

Who knows if that is accuarate or real - but it does, at least, give some weight to the possibility of a 'purpose' for these exposures.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 11:22pm

Lord knows O's "Smaller Love Handles in 2 Hours!" stopped me from killing myself.

[best12bars]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 11:49pm

Those Ramseys. They were NEVER going to win the Emmy anyway.

I think there's a new lucrative career on the horizon... Acting coaches and classes for the victims of syndicated personal tragedies. People would PAY through the nose for that!

The basic course will include:
Scene study
Sense memory
Improvisation
Crying on cue/Knowing exactly when to tear up
Microphone technique
Body language/posture

Advance studies will include:
Media manners
Write your own script and memorize it
Kleenex vs. handkerchief
Dressing for stressing
Harried hairstyles
Makeup - Yes or no?

[peanut2]

Posted: 6/26/07 at 11:58pm

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WORD "no"?

[best12bars]

Posted: 6/27/07 at 12:04am

"no" is the new "how much?"

[DG]

Posted: 6/27/07 at 12:09am

I wonder how much the grief-stricken displays being castigated here really differ from the social interaction of the past. In a small town, when tragedy struck, EVERYTHING became focussed on that event - and most tellingly, any help was offered.

Is this really that different? Could the small town simply have expanded with availability?

Are there those who take advantage and are not sincere? Probably. But does that necessarily mean that EVERYONE falls into that category? I'm not so sure.
Updated On: 6/27/07 at 12:09 AM

[new_philosophy_girl]

Posted: 6/27/07 at 12:37am

This goes towards Anakela's post from a while back in this thread about how no attention is given to someone who is missing who isn't white.

Has anyone heard of Stepha Henry???

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/27/07 at 10:18am

"Is this really that different? Could the small town simply have expanded with availability?"

That's funny, DG, because my other take on this is about the complete and utter disappearance of The Town Square, public spaces in which people met, and spoke, and laughed and grieved, etc. So it's sort of the opposite of expanding availability of such space that is contributing to the need of people to use mediated space, mediated by TV producers, or shopping mall security rules.

Is there any communication technique more pathetic yet uniquely American than having to hang sheets with messages about US troops on the fences of bridges over highways? I think that says a lot about where we are as Americans, I mean literally. Having no real shared space of our own to speak of, we're reduced to communicating via pillowcase on chainlink fence over the interstate.

[DG]

Posted: 6/27/07 at 10:25am

Namo - there was an article recently on the Grove shopping area (in the Fairfax district of LA) that addressed that very idea. While admittedly a Disneyesque copy, they consciously tried to create a 'town square' feel, and people are flocking to it - for exactly the reasons you mentioned. There is a void, and people will attempt to fill it if given the opportunity.