Bad Lyrical Rhyming

[Over_the_Moon]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 6:29pm

On a different thread, there was talk of how in Wicked, "Oz" and "was" shouldn't have been rhymed.

Any other bad lines that tried too hard to rhyme you can think of off hand?

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 6:32pm

"I'd sooner buy defying gravity (WTF?)/Kiss me goodbye/I'm defying gravity"

[hannahshule]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 6:35pm

There's a few awkward rhymes from RENT

[musicnmath]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 6:37pm

Mind you, I love Rent, BUT....

- AZT break...
- You?
- Me. You?
- Mimi!

There's a line I won't miss from the movie....

[Over_the_Moon]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 6:37pm

It wasn't really bad rhyming, persay, but the whole, "I'll call; I hate the fall." line was really odd and out of place.

[Ad_Libbing]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 6:59pm

I've got to agree in that I do love RENT, but some of the lines are just odd:

"Wanna dance?"
"With you?"
"No. With my father."
"I'm Roger."

[joeybiltmore1]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:01pm

My all-time least favorite lyric: (from City of Angels by the otherwise brilliant David Zippel)

"When making movies out of books
They say that Buddy wrote the book."

[Joshua488]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:02pm

Can someone explain what is wrong with the "I'd sooner buy defying gravity" line? I don't understand why people hate it so much. The line makes sense to me.

[InfiniteTheaterFrenzy]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:05pm

Oh, David Zippel.

How is it possible for
"When making movies out of books
They say that Buddy wrote the book."
AND
"You had to ruin it
This plot has got a lot of deja vu in it."
to be in the same score?

He's a FABULOUS lyricist, but not wholly consistent.

[little_sally]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:05pm

"would it be alright by you
if I degreenify you?"

I hate the fact Schwartz rhymed "you" with "you" in that line. And I hate degreenify!

[joeybiltmore1]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:05pm

I think she's saying that she would believe ("buy it") that someone could fly (defy gravity).

[jjdude2000]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:10pm

Actually- In the line before, she's saying " if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost." So my guess is that she'd rather take a chance 'defying gravity' than to waste her time trying to get something she can't have [yet].

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:12pm

well, with Wicked the list goes on and on. "Precious few at ease with moral ambiguities..." annoys me to all ends and the "I'd sooner buy..." thing makes sense, sure, but it's just retarded. as are most of the lyrics in the show.

but my biggest vice is anytime "again" is rhymed with a word like "pain" a la 'I'd Give My Life For You' from MISS SAIGON. ughh...

[Joshua488]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:12pm

I agree with joeybiltmore. Which is why I have no issues with the line, because it makes sense.

[paradox_error]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:14pm

I say was and oz in exactly the same way. I also say again and pain in exactly the same way...

These don't bug me at all...

[Thesbijean]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:15pm

I love City of Angels, but the worst for me is:

Your fertile lies don't fertilize...

[LuvUrBatBoy]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:17pm

it's called a slant rhyme. Poetry is full of it.

I personally can't stand
"I sort of hate to ask it,
But do you have a basket."

[Thesbijean]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:25pm

I am sure you mean poetry is full of THEM

[mattvcrewse]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:29pm

"would it be alright by you
if I degreenify you?"

"by you" and degreeni"fy you" is the rhyme, not "you" and "you".

"I'd sooner "buy" de"fy"ing gravity/Kiss me good"bye"/I'm de"fy"ing gravity" Internal rhyme.

"Oz" and "was" are near rhymes pronounced when pronounced "wuz", but perfect rhymes when pronounced "was".

I agree with the "again" and "pain" rhymes. Also "few at ease" and ambi"guities". It's forced and sounds funny. Also the "You had to ruin it. This plot has got a lot of deja vu in it."

Writing lyrics is very difficult. There are more tricks to be used than just single words that are perfect rhymes. There are phrases that rhyme, allusions, slant rhyme, near rhyme, repitition, etc. That's partly what makes Sondheim such a master, is that he uses many tricks. An example from SWEENEY TODD, "I mean with the price of meat what it is, when you get it, if you get it... (SWEENEY gets it)... good, you've got it." Is not rhyme, but it works wonderfully.

I think we can forgive good lyricists their few mistakes in a show (David Zippel). Schwartz, you get no sympathy!

[joeybiltmore1]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:31pm

Great post, Matt!

[StickToPriest]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:32pm

"Kid, my heart ain't made of marble
But you're rhythm's really horrible"
--'If A Girl Isn't Pretty' from Funny Girl

Hands down one of the worst lyrics ever.
Bob Merril sure had some clunkers.

[iwearshoes]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:37pm

you be my king and i'll be your castle...no you'll be my queen and i'll be your moat...

wait what?!?!

[FranklinShepard-Inc.]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:39pm

From this time this pile of flesh'll
be considered something special
(Mack and Mabel - Look what happened to Mabel)

Ugh, Jerry, what were you eating that very moment?!

[staticradar]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:47pm

"just slip me on i'll be your blanket where ever whatever i'll be your COAT. You'll be my King and I'll be your castle. No you'll be my Queen and I'll be your MOAT" it takes awhile to get there, but there's rhyme there

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:53pm

ou be my king and i'll be your castle...no you'll be my queen and i'll be your moat...

iwearshoes - did you not understand the line? It isn't supposed to rhyme...