Bad Lyrical Rhyming- Page 2

[mattvcrewse]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 7:57pm

I notice a lot of people pick on near and slant rhymes. Has anyone tried writing lyrics? (Not that a non-lyricist can't have a valid opinion, because, well... they can.) I'm helping workshop a show right now that uses the line "Take a break; clear your head. There are worse things to be said than things are rough with your employment and you can't seem to enjoy it." It's something that some of our actors have made mention of, but it at least makes sense. The perfect rhyme would be employment/enjoyment, but "... and you can't find the enjoyment" wouldn't make any sense. Besides, the music moves so seamlessly that it really doesn't stick out.

[FranklinShepard-Inc.]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:00pm

Actually I did quite a few times and it is hard but one can manage even doing tricky ones. And, hey, if they'd do perfect lyrics all the time, we wouldn't have these wonderful threads, which would be a pity...

[FranklinShepard-Inc.]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:00pm

double post, sorry Updated On: 3/20/05 at 08:00 PM

[mattvcrewse]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:07pm

Wouldn't you rather have a near rhyme every now and then that sounds like normal dialogue than a semi-forced perfect rhyme? Although, yes, it is much better to have all perfect rhymes. One of the best rhymes from SWEENEY TODD is in the beginning, "Oh, that was many years ago. I doubt if anyone would know." Perfect rhyme, perfect dialogue. Sondheim, you are my hero.

[FranklinShepard-Inc.]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:12pm

true, he is devine. And I think his best rhymes are in Sweeney Todd and in A little Night Music. In other shows he sometimes appears a bit forced. Especially in "The Frogs" as much as I love the songs. But I hated Nathan Lane singing "Ariadneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". How could Sondheim let a song end on such a squeaking sound. Unbelievable.

[InfiniteTheaterFrenzy]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:15pm

I LOOOOOOVE "Your fertile lies don't fertilize" !!!!
I think it's clever.

[mattvcrewse]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:27pm

I think the most jarring bad rhymes are perfect rhymes that are done poorly. For instance, from J&H...

"It's a sin with no name,
no remorse and no shame.
Fire, fury, and flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
'Coz the devil's to blame,
and the angels proclaim
it's a dangerous game!"

When one is trying to be dramatic, you can't rhyme the same vowel over and over, and bring in the angels and the devil for no reason. What the hell does fire, fury, and flame have to do with anything!? I laughed so hard the first time I heard the song.

[Over_the_Moon]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:29pm

Like the line from Phantom...

"Sing once again with me a strange duet;
My power over you grows stronger yet."

That one irks me.

Updated On: 3/20/05 at 08:29 PM

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 8:44pm

mattvcrewse-I've agreed with all of your posts EXCEPT the one about J&H.
"When one is trying to be dramatic, you can't rhyme the same vowel over and over, and bring in the angels and the devil for no reason. What the hell does fire, fury, and flame have to do with anything!? I laughed so hard the first time I heard the song."

Hyde is supposed to be PURE EVIL (aka: the devil or the devil's working). Jekyll is supposed to be normal and I believe Wildhorn is stating the good inside of Jekyll (if the bad is personified as the devil than the good can be personified as God or angels) warning him about what he is doing.
Have you ever been in a lustful moment because if you have been you would know that it feels like so much is going on, including FIRE, FURY and FLAME.

sorry for the rant.

[little_sally]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 9:12pm

Speaking of "Jekyll and Hyde", I think the lyrics to "A New Life" are atrocious.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 9:15pm

little sally- No arguments will come from me on that one.

[CastAlbumFan]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 9:37pm

Two of my least favorite rhymes come from GODSPELL

"But if that lamp's under a bushel,
Brrrr! It's lost something kind of crucial!"

"But if the city's in a hill,
It's kind of hard to hide it well"

There's also a long rhyme scheme in HAPPY HUNTING that rhymes "Where the kitchen sink went" with "Juvinile delinquent" Which I won't torture you with.

Posted: 3/20/05 at 9:53pm

I'm surprised no one has brought this one up yet:

"You wanna produce films, write songs/you need somewhere to do it/it's what we used to dream about/THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU POO POO IT."

Worst. Lyric. Ever. Just...wow.

[lostwallflower]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 9:58pm

I must say Cole Porter has quite a few that bug me. "So In Love" from Kiss Me, Kate is lacking.

"I Hate Men": "Than ever marry one of them, I'd rest a virgin rather, For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother.
Of course, I'm awfully glad that Mother had to marry Father..."

"Avoid the trav'ling salesman though a tempting
Tom he may be, From China he will bring you jade and perfume from Araby, But don't forget 'tis he who'll have the fun and thee the baby"

"Where Is The Life That Late I Led": "Where is the fun I used to find? Where has it gone? Gone with the wind."

Anything Goes, too. Really forced.

"I'm the nominee of the G.O.P.
Or GOP!
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!"

"It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship."

[mattvcrewse]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 9:58pm

jacobtsf:

Surely we can agree that rhyming the long "a" sound over and over in a row is a bit much. It's just that the devil/angels references seemed to come out of the middle of nowhere. Then again, perhaps my view is skewed by seeing David Hasselhoff soil the good name of Broadway. I must admit, jacobtsf, that it was much less offensive to my ears to hear Bob Cuciolli with Linda Eder.

[Caroline-Q-or-TBoo]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 10:01pm

i don't know why but:

I am the bread/
and you are the wine/
and i drink you.

it just bugs me. dunno why.

[Dreamcatcher]

Posted: 3/20/05 at 11:57pm

I love RENT to death but those 2 previously mentioned lines sort of made me go WTF too. The one from LMC ("You wanna dance? With you? No, with my father. I'm Roger..") was just kind of out of place and random, I thought.

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 12:16am

The Wiz:

So you wanted to meet the Wizard?
Let me tell you that you've come to the right place
Should I make you a frog or a lizard

It just irks me....also the constant use of the rhyme lightening/frightening in two songs...
Updated On: 3/21/05 at 12:16 AM

[Urban]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 1:03am

"Agony" from "Into the Woods"

That can cut like a knife!
I must have her to wife

Okay it rhymes, but it is so clunky that it takes you out of the moment!

[ChrisLovesShows]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 1:17am

This one for Oliver! always makes me roll my eyes:

If you don't mind puttin' up with Fagin,
It's a fine life.
And though diseased rats threaten to bring the plague in,
It's a fine life.

Updated On: 3/21/05 at 01:17 AM

[rentendre]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 1:54am

from Chicago
So if here's the one conclusion I can bring this number to
/When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you

That always drives me insane

Also, that part from Popular (in Wicked)
Who you wERE, well aRE
Theres nothing that can stop you from becoming popuLER - LAAARRR
It's really cool once you getit, but until then it just sounds dumb

[buffyactsing]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 2:04am

I always loved that rhyme for some reason.

My vote is for

"The Vittles we et/were good you bet from Clambake. Ugh the song makes me cringe, but especially that line.

[BlueWizard]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 2:06am

"Agony" from "Into the Woods"
That can cut like a knife!
I must have her to wife
Okay it rhymes, but it is so clunky that it takes you out of the moment!

Really? I love that rhyme! It's the type of heightened language you'd expect from princes.

[DancerGirl16]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 9:00am

Join us leave your fields to flower
Join us leave your cheese to sour
Join us come and waist and hour or two
Doodley doo.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 3/21/05 at 8:56pm

mattvcrewse- "Then again, perhaps my view is skewed by seeing David Hasselhoff soil the good name of Broadway"

Hasselhoff was the worst thing that could ever happen to J&H.

I am curious if you find the 12 rhymes at the end of "king of Broadway" annoying?