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#1

BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 1:55pm

(I'm sure some of you have visited this website...)

For those of you who haven't, here's a snippet from the parody of Caroline, or Change:

Silence again.

CAROLINE
I SAID, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I--

THREE SUPREME-LIKE FEMALES
(entering)
Hey, sorry about that. We're doing triple duty; we had to
rush over from the Virginia Theatre to do scene one from
Little Shop of Horrors.

CAROLINE
Well, Radio, can you sing a song for me?

THREE SUPREME-LIKE FEMALES
Sure.
(Sings:)
AIN'T NOTHING LIKE THE REAL THING BABY,
AIN'T NOTHING LIKE THE REAL TH--

A watch alarm beeps.

THREE SUPREME-LIKE FEMALES
Oh, sorry about that. We need to rush over to the Neil Simon
Theatre, turns out we're in the third scene of Hairspray.

I get lost, unless, of course, I'm getting found.
#2

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 2:17pm

This is a VERY funny site...not updated too often, but have laughed out loud reading these "synopses"
Similar to Television Without Pity
"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#4

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 2:24pm

See my sig!
JOHN LITHGOW I just realized, your last name is Butz! Both "Norbert" AND "Butz" are in your name! You must have gotten picked on a lot as a child!
#6

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 2:31pm

I love the mention in the Streetcar parody about the fans representing New Orleans. I have seen so many productions of Streetcar and the sets were always strange. I don't think there is a set designer for this show who has ever been to New Orleans.
#7

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 2:44pm

Yes, the DRS one could be better, but I think the entire Assassins one is just amazing.
#9

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 3:28pm

I can't even read this crap anymore.
I really like this one:
KELLI O'HARA
Even though you're not learning any words or ANYTHING, your English is somehow getting BETTER and BETTER!

HELLO! Someone missed the scene where Franca begins to tutor Fabrizio.

Sorry, if you are gonna parody somehting, do it right.
Mama Korey

The Beauty Is: Kelli O'Hara Online

#10

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 4:15pm

I think the point of it is how - over the course of a 2 and half hour musical - a girl who is suppose to be "slow" can suddenly learn perfect italian. For someone who happens to have liked the show and really enjoyed Kelli O'Hara's performance, it doesn't makes sense. Or why, after an entire 1st act of songs and scenes in italian does the mother (and Lucas) feel it neccesary to break the forth wall and talk to the audience like we are idiots. We got it the first act, why explain it now?
#11

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 4:17pm

NATASHA RICHARDSON
Well we're not in Germany, John. We're in New Orleans.


JOHN C. REILLY
How can you (and the audience) tell?


NATASHA RICHARDSON
Because of the six dozen fans that are twirling on our set,
which obviously mean "New Orleans". I hope that the
combination of this DISTRACTING HYPNOTIC MOVEMENT and my
tendency to SPEAK MY MONOLOGUES SLOWER THAN TIME ITSELF
doesn't cause the audience to DRIFT OFF.
(pause)
Oh. It's been five minutes. I should somehow meaninglessly
mention the word "DESIRE" because it's in the title.
#12

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 4:18pm

I love Broadway Abridged... it's hilarious. I even laugh at the ones I haven't seen, haha. The Wicked one was great.

SEATTLE
Hey Idina, great singing!

LOL.
"Learn how to laugh. Learn how to love. Learn how to live. That's my style." -Follies
#14

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 4:45pm

These are parodies...not to be taken so seriously...and if you think it is crap, dont read it...even if I loved the show (Piazza) it is still funny.
"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#15

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 4:46pm

The one for Wicked is REALLY funny. and really true.


They talk about how Idina's mic was WAYYY too loud then they say:

SEATTLE: Hey, Idina, great singing!
awkward.

"I think it was the Korean tour or something. They were all frickin' asian!" -Zoran912

#16

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 4:48pm

I think the La Cage one is so funny and also extremely accurate... I saw the show and liked it, but had the exact same thoughts as the parody did.
"Learn how to laugh. Learn how to love. Learn how to live. That's my style." -Follies
#18

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 9:22pm

The Assassins one was my absolute favorite!

(Wicked, Brooklyn, and Little Women right after it)
I get lost, unless, of course, I'm getting found.
#19

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/8/05 at 10:55pm

My favourite from Wicked:

"Hey Idina, let's go see a show!"

"What show? OZ-Mania?!?"

"Actually, I was just considering walking out of the Gershwin Theatre and catching the rest of Avenue Q."
#21

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/9/05 at 2:28am

The Fiddler one rocks! It's hysterical.
"Winning a Tony this year is like winning Best Attendance in third grade: no one will care but the winner and their mom."
-Kad

"I have also met him in person, and I find him to be quite funny actually. Arrogant and often misinformed, but still funny."
-bjh2114 (on Michael Riedel)
#22

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/9/05 at 11:34am

Broadwayabridged.com rocks!

One of my favorite scripts is Caroline, or Change. This line is hysterical:

LARGE BLACK WOMAN
MOON CHANGE! Oh, by the way, I'm a different large black
woman than the one who played the washer. You won't be able
to tell the parts weren't double-cast until the curtain call.

It's funny because it's true re: BroadwayAbridged.com
"Curse you, Lady Glyde!"

Updated On: 6/9/05 at 11:34 AM

#23

re: BroadwayAbridged.com

Posted: 6/9/05 at 12:27pm

I love Gil's work. Some of it is better than others, but I think he does a good job exposing the holes, oddities, etc. in what's currently on Broadway. I'd like to see him get around to tackling the classics (based on their scripts, of course, not their staging). And he openly acknowledges in one script (Spamalot, maybe?) that he's ripped off Forbidden Broadway's style and put it on paper. But you know what? I visit his site every few weeks and enjoy it just as much as FB, so more power to him.

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