Ethel Merman Quotes

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Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/15/07 at 11:47pm

What are some favorite Merman quotes you have? I personally can't choose just one...

I hold a degree in Musical Theatre from Montclair State University. It is useless. Now I'm funny for money. Oh, and I sing.

the story i have in mind can't be told here.
but you'll get the drift if i tell you it involves miss merman in her dressing room with a hand mirror, and the arrival of a young assistant stage manager... "five minutes, miss merman..."

Updated On: 7/16/07 at 11:50 PM

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 9:24am

My favorite was a quote that appeared in the book "Broadway Day and Night". Merman visited Harvey Firestein in his dressing room after a performance of TORCH SONG TRILOGY and he asked her what she thought of the play.

MERMAN: I thought it was a piece of sh*t but everyone around me was screaming and laughing so what the f*ck do I know?

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 9:26am

"If people could do what I do, they'd be up here doing it."

If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 9:32am

"Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to broadway."

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 9:36am

"Elaine, just go to New Haven and sing the f'in song"

"It does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are 20 gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg." -- Thomas Jefferson

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 10:09am

"Nice voice. Nice dress. Dyke, ya know."

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 10:10am

"Where the F*CK does that kid get a mouth like that?!?"

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 10:11am

And, of course, the ultimate:

"Call me Miss Bird's Eye, but this show is FROZEN!"

#10

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 10:19am

My favorite (toher 2 youngs kids as they walked around Central Park) "You don't want to go to the zoo, you don't want to play on the swings, what the fcuk DO you want to do?"

#11

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 11:29am

Ernest Borgnine allegedly said his marriage to the Merm only lasted days for one reason. Who wants to wake up to a woman screaming "HEY ERNIE!!!!!!!"

http://www.broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.cfm?thread=972787#3631451 http://www.broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.cfm?thread=963561#3533883 http://www.broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.cfm?thread=955158#3440952 http://www.broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.cfm?thread=954269#3427915 http://www.broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.cfm?thread=955012#3441622 http://www.broadwayworld.com/board/readmessage.cfm?thread=954344#3428699

#12

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 12:53pm

Regarding a young actress who was late for her entrances in ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, Merman wanted her fired. When the stage manager mentioned that the actress was a protege of Richard Rodgers (the producer) Merman replied, "I don't give a damn--tell him to go fu*k himself! I want her fired!"

"Madam Rose...and her daughter...Gypsy!"

#13

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 1:20pm

They dont make fantastic divas like Merman anymore...

#14

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 1:57pm

And when she summoned Jerry Orbach to her dressing room during the Granny Get Your Gun revival, demanding to know what he was "doing" upstage of her during one of her scenes.

"Nothing, Miss Merman," he protested.

"You are too, Orbach. I got eyes in the back of my head."

"Honest, Miss Merman," he pleaded. "All I'm doing is reacting."

"I knew it!" Merman crowed. "Let's make a deal--you don't react to ME and I won't react to YOU. Deal?"

#15

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:35pm

Not a quote, but a funny Merman story-
There was the time when Donna McKechnie was on tour with her in some show (Call Me Madam?). It was her last night and she began to cluck in the middle of a scene and make rather odd faces. Donna thought she was having a stroke. Turns out it was an old vaudeville tradition. On a performer's last night, someone would try to get them to go up on stage.

#16

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:41pm

"O good to New Haven and sing the F*UCKING song Elaine"

Updated On: 7/16/07 at 02:41 PM

#17

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:49pm

On a performer's last night, someone would try to get them to go up on stage.

Huh??

#18

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:50pm

Ethel once went on a talk show and sang I've Got Rhythm with peanut brittle in her mouth.

If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

#19

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:55pm

Why don't you go to New Haven and singing the f*cking song, Elaine?

"How do you like THAT 'misanthropic panache,' Mr. Goldstone?" - PalJoey

#20

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:55pm

The expression "go up" on stage means to start laughing, Funny Face

#21

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:57pm

Funny Face - What jv92 meant is that, one someone's last night they would try to get them to "go up on their lines", or to make them forget their lines.

I am a firm believer in serendipity- all the random pieces coming together in one wonderful moment, when suddenly you see what their purpose was all along.

#22

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 2:57pm

Aaaah, thanks ;D

#23

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 3:08pm

After losing the Tony for Gypsy to Mary Martin for Sound of Music she said "Well, you can't buck a nun."

"Love the Art in Yourself. Not Yourself in the Art." -- Stanislavski

#24

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 3:16pm

Elaine, just go to New Haven and sing the f*cking song!

"How do you like THAT 'misanthropic panache,' Mr. Goldstone?" - PalJoey

#25

re: Ethel Merman Quotes

Posted: 7/16/07 at 4:55pm

Can someone explain to me why the New Haven line is funny at all, let alone why it had to be posted four times by five people?

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