Fun Post....The WORST lyrics for a Broadway Show?

Since the "Best Lyrics for a Broadway Show" post is such a hit, what about the WORST lyrics written for a Broadway Show?



I think one of my votes must go to "OMG You Guys!" from LB.

"To my people in the dark
Still out there in the dark."

I'm sorry; you can try a little harder and rhyme a word with something that's not...itself.

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I disagree with Legally Blonde. I think her lyrics are quite clever, especially "So Much Better" and "Ireland" (one of my favorite recent comic lyrics).

"Dancing Through Life" has to be the worst lyric for a song in a musical. Most of Wicked's other lyrics don't bother me AS much.

Wedding Singer and Spamalot are tie for me.

Going earlier, Tim Rice's Joseph... lyrics are pretty damn awful (though I think his Evita lyrics are genius). Happy Hunting has some pretty bad lyrics (not to mention some generic music).

Sweet Charity:

"Im the bells of Saint Peters in Rome,
Im tissue paper on a cone"

are you fu*king kidding me? Tissue Paper on a cone????

I got tears coming out of my nose.
I love Legally Blonde but that's kinda gross...LOL.

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Isn't the "Tissue paper on a comb" referring to a common way to make a homemade kazoo?

Not such an awful lyric really, so much as it is dated. There's a HUGE difference. And Dorothy Fields was one of the greatest lyricists of her time.

Though I'm sure this is ban-worthy, I have to cite (ONLY CERTAIN PARTS OF) Into the Woods. Strange since I consider this having some of the best lyrics ever in a show. The only thing that bothers me (and maybe someone here could explain it) is
Witches can be right, Giants can be good.
You decide what's right you decide what's good

Same with the Alone parts in the same song. And yes I am aware that that part is not meant to rhyme, but every time I hear it since I am so used to Sondheim having some of the most amazing rhyming patterns, it just rubs me the wrong way. Good and Good?? Okay not WORST by far, just bothers me in an otherwise (IMO) perfect show.

Oh, and though I love The Wedding Singer in all its flawed glory, every time I hear Laura Benanti sing

These sort of things happen all the time
When life gives you garbage - use it to cliiiiiiiiiimb.

I (all at once) cringe, laugh, sing along, vomit a little, and laugh again because I realize that (completely unintentionally) Benanti is referencing her own career. That was PURE garbage and she used it to climb to the top and (with a little help from Gypsy) win a Tony. So yay.

Updated On: 7/29/08 at 01:13 AM

>"Im the bells of Saint Peters in Rome,
Im tissue paper on a cone"

are you fu*king kidding me? Tissue Paper on a cone????<



If you are going to try to take down a set of lyrics or a legendary lyricist, it helps to quote the lyrics correctly. As mentioned earlier in this thread, it is "tissue paper on a comb". And the reason it is a brilliant lyric is that Dorothy Fields is saying "I'm something unbelievably grandiose" (Bells of St. Peter) and "I'm something incredibly simple" (tissue paper on a comb) because the character singing the song is loved, without having to express those sentiments in such plain terms.

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Wow, a page already and no "Leave your cheese to sour".

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I can excuse 'The Wedding Singer' for occasionally spewing out awful lyrics, because they fit the overall aesthetic of the show.

My favourite show for terrible lyrics is 'The Civil War'.

Think of an up-tempo, almost cheerful song. Now imagine it with these lyrics:

"And sometimes it's too much to bear
The dead and dying everywhere
And every day for me is judgement day
Every day for me is judgement day

I sit among my charts and maps
And hear the lonely call of Taps
Like the wind across the moon"

It proceeds to burble on about sending boys out to die, killing floors, bloody sounds of war, all to an almost perky melody. It's *just* dignified enough that the song isn't completely ridiculous, but it's still uptempo enough that it seems a bizarre juxtaposition with such doom 'n' gloom lyrics.

That's 'Judgement Day'. And how about 'Missing You (My Bill)'?

"I learned to chop a tree today
I laughed so hard I cried
And Billy helped and scraped his knee
But he took it all in stride"

and

"The parlour roof still leaks a bit
Where the gable meets the eave
You always meant to get to it
But I know you had to leave"

Simply beautiful in their insanity. Wildhorn's lyrics never fail to make me smile. In a really REALLY bad way. XD

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I'm a Legally Blonde fan, but I have to tell you... I always cringe at the lyric:

"Who else can I tell? Oh wait! There's my cell!"

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With the exception of "Screw Loose" basically every song in Cry Baby has terrible lyrics.

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love Chess, but One Night in Bangkok has got some stinkers.

"Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine"

and

"Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness"

I like how upbeat So much Better from LB is, but the lyrics honestly....

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