Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

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Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 12:27am

I saw Xanadu last Wednesday, and I can't stop laughing. It was so great. I'm not sure what I expected, but I loved it. The book was very crispy and witty, and the score sounded great with those amazing voices. Anyway, one of the best moments of the night came when Jackie Hoffman sang "I had a dream...." then she made a laugh, and said: "If I was in that show, I'd have a job next week." And the audience cracked up, but none of the actors on stage seemed stunned, so maybe it's been a common adlib.

Any other great lines? I wanted to see the show a couple more times to hear what else they say, they were both so hilarious.

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 12:31am

(To a about 12 year old boy falling asleep onstage)

Jackie: "Hellooo? Am I boring you? What can I do to entertain you? Oh, C'mon! (jumping around like a monkey) Look at me!! I'm a monkey!! Ooh ooh!! Laugh!!!"

I'm gonna miss this show.

"He found something that he wanted, had always wanted and always would want— not to be admired, as he had feared; not to be loved, as he had made himself believe; but to be necessary to people, to be indispensable." -F. Scott Fitzgerald's This Side of Paradise

Updated On: 9/28/08 at 12:31 AM

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 12:41am

Mary and Jackie, but Mary and Whoopi.

Mary: Caliope, tell us a secret.
Whoopi: This morning I put on a thong, now I don't know where it is.
*Mary pulls a thong out from her chest*
Whoopi: That's part of it.

I almosted died.

The first time I saw the show Jackie was out and I saw Annie.
I'm seeing Jackie for the first(and last) time tomorrow.

2008: Feb. 18- Rent, Feb. 19- Curtains, April 18- Xanadu, April 22- Wicked, April 26- Legally Blonde, May 31- Wicked, June 13- The Little Mermaid, June 28- Wicked and Young Frankenstein, July 2- The Little Mermaid, July 6- A Chorus Line and Legally Blonde, August 16- Xanadu, September 13- Legally Blonde and 13, September 28- Xanadu and Spring Awakening, Oct. 12-GYPSY and [title of show], Oct. 19- Hairspray & Legally Blonde, Nov. 9- Wicked and 13, Dec. 14-13, Dec. 26- Billy Elliot, 2009: Jan 1- Shrek, Jan 2- 13 and Wicked, Jan 4- 13, Feb 17- In The Heights, Feb 19- Billy Elliot, Feb 22- Sweeney Todd (tour), March 28- Mary Poppins, April 4- Mamma Mia!, April 15- Jersey Boys (on tour), April 25- next to normal & 9 to 5 May 1- Billy Elliot, May 3- Spelling Bee (tour), May 8- Chicago, May 21- Wicked, June 6- Everyday Rapture, June 23- The Wiz, June 25- Hair July 15- Shrek, August 9- Wicked, September 7- Rock of Ages, October 11- Next To Normal, October 23- The Marvelous Wonderettes, November 7- Ragtime November 29- Dreamgirls, December 25- Billy Elliot, December 30- Finian's Rainbow, 2010: January 9- Bye Bye Birdie, January 16- Memphis February 17- The Phantom of The Opera, February 18- God of Carnage, March 7- Billy Elliot, March 31- American Idiot

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 12:44am

On Tuesday (9/23) Jackie went to a group of women sitting onstage and said, "Do any of you ladies work for a temp agency? I can type, I'm great on the phone. No?" It was so funny. Then on Mt. Olympus, in that amazing Aphrodite accent she say to Clio, " Are the big hands and big feet telling me the story I want to hear." I'm assuming this was an adlib because Kerry could not keep herself from laughing, she had to cover her face with her hair.

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 12:48am

Rentboy, I saw the show on Thursday and Jackie did the same exact thing and I thought the exact same thing when the cast just stood there. haha

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:14am

I saw the show last spring and there was a man wearing a fedora sitting in the onstage seats. Jackie complimented him by saying, "It's so refreshing. You just don't see men wear a fedora to the theatre anymore." This stopped the show for at least a minute and a half. She followed it up with, "Unless he's an asshole," which stopped things for at least another 45 seconds.

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:17am

With the Whoopi "thong" line, Mary shot the thong out into the audience and usually said something like, "Now that person has a secret too!", but one night when I saw it, there was nobody in the seat that she shot it into and she said, "Hm, That person just vanished!!" I will miss their incredible adlibs.

"If it walks like a Parks, if it wobbles like a Parks, then it's definitely fat and nobody loves it." --MA

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:20am

The line about Sonny's hands and feet is a regular part of the show- not an adlib. It cracked me up everytime I saw the show! Mary and Jackie are hysterical together. They just gel so well. I hope they can work together again sometime in the future. I would definitely go and see them.

Upcoming shows:

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:23am

Oh Parks, she did do that too... drew a blank for a second.
But there was a person in the seat lol. And she actually looked and that person and said with the straightest face "now you have a secret too.

Now I'm not racist but I thought Whoopi's line "And I thought only black people named their children weird names" after Mary named her children was just brilliant! Whoopi turned toward Mary and just stared at her, it stopped the show for a good 30 seconds.

Updated On: 9/28/08 at 01:23 AM

#10

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:34am

Last night (9/27) had a classic ad-lib. There was a little girl sitting on stage and she said "Hello, little girl. Do you know what a closing notice is?" The girl shook her head an Jackie went on to say "It means the funny lady with the glasses doesn't have a job anymore."

"All our dreams can come true -- if we have the courage to pursue them." -- Walt Disney We must have different Gods. My God said "do to others what you would have them do to you". Your God seems to have said "My Way or the Highway".

#11

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:46am

today's matinee- Jackie killed with this one:

"And the Dominicans stole our freaking Tony!"

There was dead silence and the actors had the whole 'Did she really just say that?' look on their faces for a few seconds, and then everyone in the audience started cheering and Kerry and Mary broke.

#12

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:46am

When I went, there was a bald man sitting on an aisle seat on stage. Mary would caress the entire night and just play with it, when she passed by him. It was hilarious. She was obsessed with his shiny bald head.

"I don't see that many plays, and for me, musicals are rarely pleasing. I feel the actors are being put through a kind of nightmarish labor. They're like animals being forced to pull heavy carts of vegetables at incredible speeds." --- Wallace Shawn

#13

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 1:51am

July 26th Matinee (I was onstage):

Jackie (to a guy wearing a muse costume in one of the popcorn seats): "What is this, a cry for help or something?" (That stopped the show dead, but then she added) "Let me ask you something, when you go to Little Mermaid do you dress like a FISH? HUH??" (she stopped the show for at least a minute or two).

"I'm seeing the LuPone in Key West later this week. I'm hoping for great vocals and some sort of insane breakdown..." - BenjaminNicholas2

#14

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 2:06am

all the above are old, and, I fear, regular guests in a tired (soon to close) show...but it's touching they strike someone as new.

#15

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 2:11am

One of the times I was there, during Jackie's line "Am I the only one who gets it - people?" there was a guy on stage in the front row, who had a brochure in his pocket, Jackie went up to him and grabbed the brochure and said "What the hell is this?" Everyone on stage lost it.

Upcoming shows:

#16

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 2:16am

I sat onstage once with a woman in a zebra shirt, some other woman in an animal print,and me with a jacket I had in a geometric/animal design.

"Am I the only person up here who gets it? Or do I need animal prints?!"

I have yet to wear that jacket again.

Tick Tock

#17

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 2:20am

I remember the thong thing. Heck, it was me at the September 6th matinee that she flung it to. Good times.

"I don't want the pretty lights to come and get me."-Homecoming 2005 "You can't pray away the gay."-Callie Torres on Grey's Anatomy. Ignored Users: suestorm, N2N Nate., Owen22, master bates

#18

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 2:26am

Speaking of the “does anybody get it?” part…
When I saw it back in August, there were a few people who came in about 5 minutes late in the beginning and were right in the first or second row. So at that part Whoopi turned to them and went, “I get it. Did the people who came in late get it!?” and was pointing at them. And Mary was just staring at them, shaking her head and making faces. The audience went nuts.

#19

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 3:15am

old old old

#20

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 3:20am

Calm down. Not everyone here has seen Xanadu a hundred times.

#21

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 3:57am

Jackie to a 14 year old with some facial hair: I don't get it, are you a adult of not...you have the body of a child but the face of a 20 year old...

"I never had theatre producers run after me. Some people want to make more Broadway shows out of movies. But Elliot and I aren't going to do Batman: The Musical." - Julie Taymor 1999

#22

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 7:37am

In the onstage seats on night, there was a teenage couple front row, dead center. The kept on kissing the entire show, but near the end, Jackie ran up to them as they were kissing, pulled them both apart and screamed, "STOP CUDDLING!", and after a long, long, long, long, LONG break of laughter (Five minutes), she went up to them again and screamed, "WATCH THE DAMN SHOW, INSTEAD OF HER MOUTH!" EVERYONE broke into laughter.

#23

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:41am

Jackie to a little blonde boy on stage: "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS IT, LITTLE TOW HEADED KID?!?!?!"

And then she thought he might not have understood what she meant, so Cheyenne explained it to him at the stagedoor.

http://www.beintheheights.com/katnicole1 (Please click and help me win!) I chose, and my world was shaken- So what?
The choice may have been mistaken, The choosing was not... "Every day has the potential to be the greatest day of your life." - Lin-Manuel Miranda "And when Idina Menzel is singing, I'm always slightly worried that her teeth are going to jump out of her mouth and chase me." - Schmerg_the_Impaler

#24

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 8:56am

I was there for the Whoopi Thong one, that was hilarious! I wish I could have seen Jackie though. They should create their own show.

#25

re: Funny Mary Testa/Jackie Hoffman Adlibs?

Posted: 9/28/08 at 10:09am

back in july...

after the "am i the only one who gets it here, people?!!?" line, jackie walked up to my friend onstage, pinched his cheek and said..."aw, you are so cute. you look like a black frank sinatra." (because of the hat he was wearing)

it was great...especially since that was my friend's first time onstage.

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