Someone in another thread captured it very simply: "In Act I, she (Christine Ebersole) really played the 'all about me' card very well."
I don't think there is a "right" and "wrong" here about "whose" act it is, WalkOn. It's a matter of perception. In many ways, it's about both women, just as Act II is. I don't want to be redundant and simply cite everything already mentioned. I only used ONE example--the conflict between Big Edie and her father--because I think it illustrates an underlying issue that Major Bouvier expresses in "Marry Well."
Women were not educated so that they could have careers, contribute fully to society and support themselves. They were, largely, the vessel through which lineage was preserved. Big Edie exercized her "freedom" as best she could, but she was pretty much doomed. And Little Edie's options weren't much better. Clearly, the expectation is that she will marry into the Kennedy family and become "a wife with hobbies" just like Joe's mother and her "bridge."
Women were also not expected to speak their minds or challenge men, especially their fathers. (I know I am generalizing; there were, of course, exceptions to this rule, but this wasn't one of them.)
More than anything, Big Edie wants attention. She wants to be "noticed." She wants to be "celebrated." People who desperately need attention create conflict in every "relationship" they have...or attempt to have, I should say, because, for the most part, their relationships are unsuccessful.
I understand your reference to Barry, but that is, still, one dramatist's view. Even if his were the only "rules," I say rules are meant to be broken. One of the things I find most fascinating about GG is that it defies convention and takes risks. It may not be 100% successful, but at least it tries to say something in a fresh, new way...and let's face it: there is nothing NEW to be said, only NEW ways to say it. Shakespeare knew that!
"Be on your guard! Jerks on the loose!"
http://www.roches.com/television/ss83kod.html
**********
"If any relationship involves a flow chart, get out of it...FAST!"
~ Best12Bars