Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

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Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 11:53am

To continue this idea from another thread, here are some thoughts (probably best for Halloween to scare everyone)for Hasselhoff musical talents

1. The Boy From Oz - I Go To Rio
2. Cabaret - Willkomen
3. Legs Diamond - When I Get My Name In Lights
4. Music Man - Trouble
5. The Producers - Keep It Gay

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Updated On: 3/26/05 at 11:53 AM

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 11:57am

Mr. Hasselhoff would likely make a fine Nick Arnstein in FUNNY GIRL or Mr. Marsh in BELLS ARE RINGING (both Sydney Chaplin parts)....he could also be ok as Captain von Trapp in THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

"Blow out the candles Robert and make a wish. Want something, want SOMETHING."

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 11:59am

This is a comedy thread - No seriousness will be permitted.

Poster Emeritus

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:03pm

Oh lord, if Hasselhoff gets to do another show, I'm gonna hassell off outta there!

"The Spectacle has, indeed, an emotional attraction of its own, but, of all the parts, it is the least artistic, and connected least with the art of poetry. For the power of Tragedy, we may be sure, is felt even apart from representation and actors. Besides, the production of spectacular effects depends more on the art of the stage machinist than on that of the poet."
--Aristotle

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:04pm

Hasselhoff was just ridiculous in Jekyll & Hyde (one former Jekyll was seen falling down the stairs in laughter watching Hasselhoff's performance, while another Jekyll was so upset, he burst into tears at intermission), but there probably are roles for him in musical theatre where he wouldn't embarrass himself.

"Gif me the cobra jool!"

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:05pm

Yeah, his Jekyll made Sebastian Bach look like Brian Stokes Mitchell.

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:06pm

Pack your bags

How about him as The Scarlet Pimpernel, Dracula or Lil Abner ?

Poster Emeritus

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:08pm

Mr Roxy, surely you would want to see Mr. Hasellhoff as Sweeney Todd or Robert in COMPANY, no????

"Blow out the candles Robert and make a wish. Want something, want SOMETHING."

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:09pm

Bach will never be confused for Alfred Drake, but I still maintain he was a lot of fun to watch and listen to in the role, and because he's so damned tall and lanky, he's the only Jekyll who didn't look like a sack of potatoes in the costumes.

"Gif me the cobra jool!"

#10

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:09pm

There's not a lot in the Roxy bag of tricks. You've got Hasselhoff, you've got critics, you've got Wildhorn, you've got a penis shaped sponge, and most importantly, you've got "It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Superman!" That's it. He's a one-man recycling center.

Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#11

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:10pm

A role for Hassellhoff? Hmmm....

How about one of those dancing forks in BEAUTY & THE BEAST?

Better yet - the plate. All he has to do is stand there and spin the damn thing.

#12

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:10pm

You forgot the high cost of theatre tickets and subway fare.

"Gif me the cobra jool!"

#13

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:11pm

In fairness, in J/H, his TITH was horrible but his Confrontation wasn't half bad.

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#14

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:34pm

Are you kidding? His "Confrontation" was horrible. He wasn't even on cue with the light changes.

#15

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:35pm

Don't even make me *think* about him singing Willkommen.

Thanks.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#16

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:37pm

And theater restoration fees! Let's not forget theater restoration fees!

Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#17

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:40pm

What Emcee said. I only saw his performance on video. I can't imagine the torture of seeing it live. It makes me sick just thinking about it. And come on! Give us Cabaret fans a break! Wasn't Stamos and Secada bad enough!!!!!!!!!

"What a mystery this world. One day you love them and the next day you want to kill them a thousand times over." The Masked Bandit in THE FALL

#18

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:43pm

DAVID HASSELHOFF
in
SWEENEY TODD

(Shudders)

#19

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:56pm

I think you just took some years off of Sondheims life with that statement. Elch, I never want those two associated together again.

"What a mystery this world. One day you love them and the next day you want to kill them a thousand times over." The Masked Bandit in THE FALL

#20

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:57pm

I've always wanted to hear Hasselhoff's "Glitter and be Gay"!

awkward.

"I think it was the Korean tour or something. They were all frickin' asian!" -Zoran912

#21

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 12:59pm

*snort*

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#22

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 1:44pm

How about ole Dave as Albin or Georges ?

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#23

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 1:45pm

roxy- He may be a good Albin or Georges, but I always thought of him as a Cagelle!

awkward.

"I think it was the Korean tour or something. They were all frickin' asian!" -Zoran912

#24

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 1:47pm

Oops there goes my lunch

How about him as the one with the whip ? Oy Vey

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#25

re: Hasselhoff Musical Vehicles ?

Posted: 3/26/05 at 1:50pm

I feel bad for the guy who plays the one with the whip. As soon as he comes out on stage, you hear the audience go "oh my" "ewww" "yuck," etc... maybe as a child he wanted to be a woman when he grew up. We could be CRUSHING his lifelong dream by letting him know he is quite possibly the ugliest woman ever to have lived.

awkward.

"I think it was the Korean tour or something. They were all frickin' asian!" -Zoran912

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