Jessica Simpson to replace Foster in "Millie"...- Page 3

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 9/20/03 at 2:51pm

Jessica isn't smart enough to play Amber... although they are both blonde and have caniving, over the hill hags of stage mothers.. oops.

Can I just point out.. when you 20, WHY do feel it neccessary to have your best friend, who is the preacher (SOUTHERN BAPTIST I believe -- they scare me. I grew up with some of them) conducting your wedding, in the middle of the ceremony, point out the fact that you are one of the few bride's who can rightfully wear white because you are a virgin??


Found this on-line::
Jessica Simpson's Stupidity as compiled by Internet fans:

1. Her inability to work a garage door opener or her calling it the Playboy building?
2. Her inability to dribble a basketball without hitting herself in the face or her lack of knowledge of golf terms that even a 3rd grader that’s never picked up a club would know.

3. Her inability to check a price tag in a store. I'm sure she has probably shopped at 100 times before/

4. Her notion that there must be some kind of strange species of chicken that live in the ocean. At least Ozzy can blame it on the years of drug and alcohol abuse, whats her excuse?

5. The fact that her mom obsessed with her Jessica being homecoming queen and p-o-p-u-l-a-r. I saw it in an interview with her mother on some "When I was 17" reality garbage. Her mom couldn't stop gloating about how Jess was homecoming queen three times.. and how she was one herself in HS. I think Jessica's father was too busy with his church stuff to pay attention to the fact that his daughter was not learning anything other than how to be a sexpot. Then again, he seems pretty **** whipped and moronic..so I guess it runs in the family.

6. Nick says: I found a mouse in the pool. Jessica says: What were the mouses doing?

7. After she and her "hubby" failed to win a toy for her at the amusement park, someone asked if she would like a toy regardless. She attempted to be noble and mature by turning it down since she wouldn't feel like she earned it. BUT then, the next clip shows her grabbing the platypus from an outreached hand and walking away without saying thank you. That rude bitch. In addition to never having anyone clean up after her or do her laundry, Mrs. Simpson also neglected to teach her daughter basic manners. Note to parents- just because your child looks like a horse doesn't mean it should be raised in a barn.

Other thoughts on Jessica and Nick's show:

'Jesus, is it THAT important to have a young virginal blonde on your arm that you settle for the dumbest human on the planet? I could be wrong, but he doesn't seem like he's a complete idiot, so why, for the love of God, is he content being tied for life to this lump of uselessness? I know he's not the only man (plus Demi Moore) who have done this (squired a pretty young thing), but seriously, I do not see how that translates into love and marriage. Pretty to look at? Okay, I'll buy that. Good body? Alright. It can't just be the virgin thing. I would like think that on the whole, men look for a little more than that. She can't carry on a conversation, she doesn't know what a mop is, she isn't athletic or funny. Plus, she complains constantly and acts like a jealous freak even though she married a friggin teen idol (cough). As far as I can tell, her main contribution seems to be pouting and stinking up the bathroom.'

'The only part of this show I happened to catch was the part where the dumber-than-dryer-lint blond stunk up the bathroom and her lame-ass husband made a big deal about how she was too stupid to turn on the bathroom fan. She slipped her arms around his neck and cooed "You love my stinky ass." That's enough for me. Her name forever forward is Stinky Ass. Her husband's name is Lame Ass. I don't need to see anymore of how the stupidest person on the planet lives her life.'

'Yeah I was a little confused by the ironing scene too. When did she learn how to operate one of those things that us non celebrities use?'


For fun reviews of the Nick and Jessica show ::
recaps Updated On: 9/20/03 at 02:51 PM