Pirate Queen 7:30 October 24, 2006 Review.....

Get ready, New York, this turkey is sailing your way.

It is one of those shows that have lofty intentions and "serious" artists collaborating, but it is so emotionally forced and superficial. I am sure the story of this woman and her struggles is fascinating, but it surly isn’t told here. Clichés are rampant. The score is so forgettable (laughable rhymes, the simplest melodies) and although there are a couple of pretty songs most of it is a tired rehash of some show or another, including Les Mis and Miss Saigon, not to mention Phantom...and not the GOOD stuff) just awful. Not unpleasant, just dull as dirt.
There are some overblown set pieces, a few pretty pictures and some nice performances, but mostly just grandstanding and posing and singing loudly down center through an over amplified system. It reminded me a bit of a production of Peter Pan, and not the FUN pirate stuff (these are not really the “Ahoy, Matie” type pirates, really just rag-tag Irish clans trying to fend off England.) but the “posing of Cathy Rigby trying to look like a boy” Peter Pan.
Stephanie Block is fine, good voice, but her character never gets beyond the Disney rebellious daughter stage. "I am woman, hear me roar, but I am in LOVE!"( at one point she is positioned on what looks like a rock singing in the classic Ariel 'Part of Your World' pose.) In fact the whole thing reminded me of a Disney ride. When the ship should be roaring through uncharted and wild seas, you feel like you are on the big Columbia ship at Disneyland that is on a track that smoothly glides you by Tom Sawyer’s Island and deposits you back at New Orleans Square just in time to catch Erika Amato in the Snow White show. There is no sense of danger, no risk, no steaks...just blah, with really fake and sloppily staged fight scenes poorly executed.
The dance breaks seemed forced as well. Oh, here is the wedding scene let’s have a big dance break. Oh, here is the Christening scene (for a child who hardly registers with either the characters or the audience, emotionally) let’s have another dance break.

The portrayal of Queen Elizabeth is truly laughable. I don’t know if this is intentional or not. The court scenes really come off as the silly villain scenes in the Disney films, but then it tries to have it both ways by bringing in this whole “We women just solved centuries of conflict in a matter of minutes.” Let us see THAT scene, not the scene leading up to Elizabeth’s decision to sit down and talk to Grace. Now, imagine Sarah Brightman at 60 still trying to sing Phantom in the original key and you will have some idea of the vocal performance of Balgord’s performance. This woman’s voice made my ears bleed.

I am anxious to see how the critics receive it, but the audience didn’t seem too enthusiastic tonight. I noticed a few walkouts at intermission. Of course Block got a standing ovation, but that is so common these days I am sure even the actor's don't take them too seriously. The whole cast puts forth a valiant effort, but the show just doesn’t work. If you are waiting for the next Les Mis or Wicked you will be very disappointed.

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Updated On: 10/25/06 at 03:03 AM

All the elements are there, technically, but the book is a mess. There is no time to get to know these characters. It is all "I want to sail, Daddy" "No, you are a GIRL" Then I'll dress as a BOY"...but who are they, really. There is no heart.

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Believe me, I know Disneyland like the back of my hand. I was taking "poetic license" with the locals. And I did want to like this show. I intentionally avoided all the web-casts and things. And you may be right about the fight scenes. I will give them that, but it just added to the ho-humness of the whole evening.

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Popular, you really have to stop getting so defensive every time someone happens to not enjoy Pirate Queen. Do you work for the show? Or do you just hold some sort of odd obsession with it? It's really getting a bit disturbing how you jump on anything (such as locations in Disneyland) to attack a person's credibility when they don't like something.

Popular, you might be interested in this particular review:

Vicky
Chicago, IL
I checked into cast.com dutifully each day and was really excited about this production. Because I had such high expectations, the disappointment was huge. The cast, the set, the orchestra, the dancers, the costumes -- tremendous. But there was no thread, no continuity, no memorable song, not enough passion. Nothing to stir the soul. The whole score was forgotten as soon as we left. The Queen is such a talent, but the high pitched opera just fails miserably. At one point I actually laughed out loud: at the decisive standoff between Grace and QEI, they looked just like Galinda and Elphaba facing off, one in the sparkly white ball gown and the other in the green velvet. I know they have a lot of work to do to pull this together and I hope they succeed.

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Well, I hope it gets better during previews. Have my NYC tickets, and am a big Steph fan....

No, Namo, I paid full price. I learned my lesson by waiting too long to buy tickets before word of mouth got out about The Producers. It was a risk I was willing to take. But in this case it just didn't pay off.

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Thanks for the reviews everyone. Popular, this show needs all the support it can get, so I salute your efforts to promote it. I would love to read an actual review from you. How about checking Priceline for cheap tickets to Chicago? I'm not so certain you'll be able to see this in New York in 2007.

I promised myself I wouldn't start any more threads about The Pirate Queen, because I don't want to seem like an endlessly negative voice. However, if other people want to talk about it...

I really hope this show doesn't get brought into Broadway this spring. If the producers took another year, scrapped about 2/3 of the current version and brought in writers who actually understood the material they could have a major hit on their hands. Unfortunately what they are currently working with is unsalvageable.

This was my first impression upon seeing the show, but I feel this even more strongly having read the source novel "Grania, She King of the Irish Seas". Boublil's story treatment is like a second grader's book report. (I wouldn't even give the kid a B) Does anyone else find it odd to go to a show called "The Pirate Queen" and not see even one second of anything having to do with PIRATES??!! When the novel begins Grania is already an experienced pirate and a voracious gambler. She has a complex love/hate relationship with her father. There's none of this lame crap about Belle/Ariel wanting to be a sailor ("part of that world...") Why not start the show with something based on the scene where Grania seizes a small vessel and lets the captain gamble for his cargo with a roll of the dice? Of course this would involve portraying a strong confident female character right from the beginning of the show. The Grania in the novel had men pining for her, not the other way around.

In the novel Queen Elizabeth was still very upset over the death of Mary Queen of Scots and was adament that her men NOT kill Grania. This would make a hell of a lot more sense, because if QE had really wanted Grace dead, she would have been dead faster than an Irish Pirate gets her balls crushed.

Grania and Queen Elizabeth did not "settle everything". The book makes clear that the conflict between Ireland and England continued for centuries after these events, and we all know this. Grania was sort of like the Engineer from Miss Saigon. She knew how to make deals and forge alliances, and she managed to get much better treatment from the British crown than any other Chieftan. But there's no way that two ladies fixed the entire Irish/English conflict by talking behind a screen for two hours, and it's an insult to the audience to imply that this could have happened.

The Pirate Queen tries to imply that Queen Elizabeth was so upset over the idea of her troops "disrespecting" Irish women that she settled the entire conflict and had Bingham jailed. I find it absurd that a show which constantly uses the words "sh*t" and "balls" can't bear to have a character utter the word "rape".

I've seen posts where people question whether this material was suitable to be made into a musical. I think this novel is the most musical-ready piece of literature I've ever read, but these guys have screwed it up royally.

For now, I would suggest that the show's producers tell the critics that the press night performance is going to start at 8:00 pm. They should then start the show at 7:15 and barricade the doors. Don't let the critics in until the dancing starts in "Boys Will Be Boys". After the Christening scene, fake a power failure, and tell the critics they'll just have to review the portions of the show they've seen.

This is the only way The Pirate Queen won't get ripped to shreds.

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Updated On: 10/25/06 at 11:28 AM

Popular, you really have to stop getting so defensive every time someone happens to not enjoy Pirate Queen. Do you work for the show? Or do you just hold some sort of odd obsession with it? It's really getting a bit disturbing how you jump on anything (such as locations in Disneyland) to attack a person's credibility when they don't like something.

You're right. Next time I'll put two or three or even four winky smiles next to my statements. C'mon, I was just joking about the Disneyland locations... Give me a break! And why would you ask me if I worked for the show when I've clearly stated that I haven't seen it? Not trying to be snippy, that's an honest question. And how can I get defensive about a show I haven't seen? If anything, I was only playing devil's advocate in regards to the comment about the fighting to which Sueleengay replied, "And you may be right about the fight scenes. I will give them that". Look, I don't doubt it has flaws. Like I said, you have a right to your opinions. I can't really comment on the show since I haven't seen it. I'm sorry if me staying hopeful about the show offends you. I'm sorry if my little updates about new CASTCOMS seem obsessive to you. I wont, however, apologize for having an interest in the show. A few others on this board would be a lot guiltier than I am if that was a crime.

"...because if QE had really wanted Grace dead, she would have been dead faster than an Irish Pirate gets her balls crushed."

Tech-- Too funny! Thanks, as always, for being the voice of reason that I would love to be, but don't have the patience for. I'm really impressed with your suggestions and I wonder if the producers would have the courage to do such a thing.

This could be SUCH a fun show if the material were better. Grnia deserves better and so does the entire cast.

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Never ever use a performer's personal feelings or even worse - their families' feelings as an excuse why somebody shouldn't critique honestly how they feel about a show - even if their feelings are unkind.

If the show needs work, we can hope the creative team will take the criticism to heart and make the corrections necessary to make the show a success.

And WICKED's success is totally irrelevent. The show received fairly poor reviews in SF, Broadway and recently in London. A lot of people think its a crappy show - it has simply found an audience. THE PIRATE QUEEN should pray to be so lucky!

Updated On: 10/25/06 at 02:09 PM

Well, I pray that you are never put in a position where you are being reviewed for your work. Yes, I agree if a work needs to be corrected let's bring it to the attention of those in charge. However, there is a way and then there is a way. Evidently, the majority of poster who did not like this show have no foresight in proper critiquing etiquette.

Yes, I can use Wicked as a reference, just as I can use LesMis and Miss Siagon. Reviewers to all these shows where not so kind in the beginning as well. But, when push came to shove, the creative team new what they had to do and did it. I guess what I am trying to say...GIVE THIS SHOW IT'S DUE AND WAIT FOR THE NYC SET IN STONE OPENING, before being so negative. Nothing is perfect at it's start. Anyway I believe there is more good to this production than there's bad. And SG...let's just agree to disagree. Putting something totally down without giving a 100% chance is just not my style.