Oh boy do I approve this thread :) especially Hugh Jackman as the orchestra.
I think they should set it in an insane asylum. An insane asylum on a cruiseship. Or at least, as it is dreamed up by Angela Lansbury.
And then with this production, they'd add a third act. And this third act would start out by taking us to a fictitious "Mame" rehearsal, where the lead actress is suddenly flung into the rapturous story of what happens to "Mame" after the original ending. Which of course makes her end up in a giant garden where a god-like figure named 33 tries to save her soul from evil. And at the very end (after the rape ballet) a large, white staircase will descend, and Mame will be killed by Patrick, who will be wearing a skimpy black negligee.
"There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when we depart this world of ours: children and art."
-Sunday In The Park With George