The Agony Of a Non-Theatre Major (Long-ass Rant)

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 10:03am

I am not the world's greatest actor.

I am not the world's greatest singer.

I cannot dance for the sake of John Galt.

I do, however, want to learn so that I can improve upon these skills. Unlike most people posting here on BWW, I have not been into theatre my entire life. I did not come tap-dancing out of the womb. I came out of the womb writing a screenplay or a short story. I have spent most of my life on "the other side" (directing, writing, etc.) encased in a shell that was suffocating me at the time. I really wanted to join theatre in high school all throughout freshman year but was so intimidated by the sheer amount of talent there that I felt as if there was no reason in joining. "They're just going to view me as competition and not welcome me or anything," was my thinking completely. Eventually, I got up the courage to work sound for a show in sopohomore year and found it rather fulfilling but....I really really really wanted to perform. Watching rehearsals and seeing my friends act and perform ignited a fire in me that continues to this day. I felt something I had never felt before: I actually wanted to...you know...do things in front of people.

Unfortunately, I was much too chicken**** to audition for anything. As luck would have it, all of the "sheer amount of talent" graduated that year leaving about two or three male actors. They eventually roped me into auditioning for something and I did, indeed, enjoy the experience of getting cast (Even though it was a "everyone gets a part" situation) and performing. However, something didn't feel right. I felt like performing was "work" and didn't really feel the "electricity" that so many of my acting heroes talk about. The reason: The director was a self-indulgent asshole who embezzled from the theatre funds and was quickly fired.

The following year, a new director was hired and she turned out to possess all of the skills that our previous one lacked. I was involved with every play and absolutely LOVED it. I not only felt the "electricity" but was completely enamored with it. I began to love theatre as much as I love film (And, trust me, that is no easy feat). Unfortunately, this was my senior year and I would be leaving for Santa Fe in the fall where I would be enrolled as a film major. However, I did end the year by writing, directing, and acting in a play called BUCKET OF SMILES in which many came up to me and said that I was "kickass". I, personally, felt that BUCKET was the most gratifying theatre experience I have had thusfar and that I probably gave my best performance as an obese commercial airline pilot with a tenuous grip on reality.

I literally have been doing films for so long and writing for so long that it is as if that is all everyone knows me for. I doubt anyone but myself understands my newfound "need" to perform, to be up on-stage. It's not something that people actively encourage me to pursue (Which is why I keep posting here.) because of the lack of jobs available. But I'm not doing it out of a need to get jobs. Hell, money is not even a factor for me (At least now...). And, besides, it's hard enough to get jobs in film.

So now I find myself in college as a film major and regarding everyone with any sort of association with theatre with a white-hot burning envy. I've been at pretty much every audition held for anything here but am finding it hard to break in as a non-theatre major. Especially since they really want everyone involved with theatre to not do anything else. As of now, I've been channeling my frustration with this aspect of college into a TV show I'm developing with some people so all is not lost. But I really really really really want to get into this, man. I doubt anyone in the film department so wants to perform as much as I do in this way.

It also does not help that I am extremely odd-looking, as my avatar suggests.

I have papers for an application for a theatre minor. It is almost completely filled out. However, I physically cannot step into the theatre building because of the very same anxieties I felt at the beginning of high school. I am going to prevent myself from not getting through the day tomorrow without getting these papers to the appropriate person. I need to get it in, man.

Anyone else feeling the same thing?

[mlsheehan]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 10:48am

While I'm 20 years past college, I felt all the same things in high school and college. I'd feel all the same things (and more) every time that I auditioned. I was a theatre major, but the feelings never did go away completely. They did decrease with time, though. I believe as with any endeavor that is new or unknown, the fear is much the worst part. You need to just move through the fear and realize that is part of the process for you. It helps if you can figure out what the fear is for you. (For me, it was fear of failure and looking stupid in front of people.)

Definitely get that application in!!!

By the way, being "different" looking (my words, not yours) is a benefit, not a handicap. You may not get the lead (and sometimes you might), but you often end up with the more interesting character roles. So don't feel that you need to look a certain way to get parts.

Good luck in the theatre, and I hope to see you on Boardway one day.

[lildogs]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 10:55am

Cruel, theatre is a clique, no matter where you are, so it's very natural and common to feel unwelcome by theatre folk, especially on the educational level.

My advice is either to create your own outlet for performing (which you seem to have done) or find another venue--your school isn't the only place in town to do a show is it? And of course, the directors will always give preferential treatment to theatre majors--that's what they're suppopsed to do--remember, the theatre majors pay to get trained in their fields as well. If you want them to use you, you must prove yourself valuable to them. Yes, they are not the gods of theatre, but they will be for the time you're in school.

Unfortunately, it is YOU who will have to adjust if you want to be happy. The world won't change for you. Good luck!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 10:56am

Who is John Galt?

[Calvin]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 11:07am

lildogs hit it...if you can't do theatre at the school, there are plenty of other options.

I was a theatre minor for a time in college. I dropped it for another minor, however, once I completed the classes I liked (the performing and directing classes) and realized that I'd have to take two semesters of that awful stagecraft class -- me and power tools are not a good combination, BTW -- that would require me to show up on Friday evenings, of all times.

I did some college theatre, but I had as much fun as a big fish in the little ponds of some of the local community theatres. And -- I was a broadcast major, so there were always acting gigs in people's broadcast and film projects. Although I'd hate for the wrong people to get a copy of some of those projects now.
Updated On: 9/25/06 at 11:07 AM

[lildogs]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 11:22am

I though you loved power tools, Calvin...or is that power tops?

[Calvin]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 11:26am

Fortunately, one renders the other unnecessary.

[lildogs]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 11:29am

Preach.

[gumbo2]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 11:34am

I understand what you're saying...I love theatre, but I'm a Television-Radio major at my school. I actually so far love the program, and there are plenty of acting opportunities in TV and film projects. Also, although the theatre program basically only casts people in the program, I am in a student-run stage show, and finding opportunities elsewhere. There are definitely other places you can perform, if not in the theatre program for the time being. Hang in there.

[lildogs]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 12:07pm

You might also keep in mind that if you can't sing or dance very well, you won't be much of a valuable asset to a theatre dept that produces many different types of shows in its season.

Maybe dance class and voice lessons will help you achieve your acting goals--they certainly can't hurt.

Just keep in mind that most professional theatre artists work in musicals--that's what pays the bills...

[elphaba.scares.me]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 1:29pm

HONEY.

turn in your paperwork. a minor can always be dropped if it gets in the way. college is the time to try things. if you're burning to be in theater, jump in there.

and departmental affiliations aside, may i humbly suggest you let go of some of the drama. it's no big deal to not know exactly what you want to do your freshman year in college. you're not odd-looking.

if you like theater, get in there. you'll still have opportunities to write.

if you're not brave enough to try, though, you'd never make it as a professional actor anyway.

perhaps this is tough love, but i think if you get out of your own way, you'll have a great and diverse college experience.

oh, and p.s.: half the people who "came out of the womb tap-dancing" or however you state it won't be actors anymore in a few years. don't give up the business just because a few people seem to have cornered the market. some of the most successful people i know were late bloomers, and plenty of friends who got every lead in the college shows are now yoga instructors and law students.
Updated On: 9/25/06 at 01:29 PM

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 1:43pm

If there's one thing I've learned during my college experience, it's that you can always change things if you're not happy. If you're not happy in one program, you can switch to another one. And if that one doesn't suit you either, you can switch again.
I started out at Univertisy of Northern Colorado as an undeclared, but I was thinking about going into the theater program. I don't think I was quite ready yet, because I left after a semester and started attending a school closer to home as a phychology major. I did that for two years. I've been taking stock of things and I finally realize that theater is where my heart is, so I'm now a theater major. But now I don't think that the school where I am is the right place to develop my skill, so it looks like I'll be going back to UNC.
The great thing about college is it's the one time you can really shake things up. Do what you need to do.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 2:46pm

unfortunately, i'm unable to do community theatre here because i don't own a car. i think my best bet is to just wait until i get back home in the summer and do a show there.

that doesn't mean i'm going to stop auditioning for everything here, because my plan is to eventually audition for literally everything so that they know that i'm dedicated and am not just doing this to blow off steam like so many do in high school.

[lildogs]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 3:13pm

You might also want to try the speech department--many schools have teams that compete and they often include categories that are essentially acting contests: Prose and Poetry Interp, Solo Acting, Duet Acting...check it out--performing is performing right?

[Katecab99]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 4:55pm

I totally understand what you mean. I was an English Literature major in college because I was too unsure about my theatre department at school, but everytime I would see them all getting ready for a show, I would whole heartedly regret my decision. However, all through college I continued to dance (as I have since I was a kid), take voice lessons and get involved with community theatre (limited involvement, but involvement nonetheless...) and so now that I've really set my mind on what I want to attempt as a career, I'm hoping everything's not lost.

However, as much as my dream is to be on stage, I'm back in school for Arts Administration, because I know that regardless of what capacity, I want my career to be in this industry.

But good luck!

[MissElphie]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 6:42pm

I felt the same thing. I got talked into majoring in English by my parents even though I got accepted into the theatre program. At the time it made sense..."honey, when you walk into an audition, they don't care what you got a degree in. Get a degree in something somewhat practical, so if this acting thing doesn't pan out, you'll be okay. You can act on the side while you get your degree." That was all crap. Between a full time job and all my classes, there was no time for acting at all. And any time I did have was spent getting some sleep. And I too, hated the theatre kids. Not because they had done anything wrong, but be cause I had given up doing that very thing and knew all along I belonged there.

All I can say is don't give up. I haven't. I've just finished school and have decided to go back to acting. I'm somewhat out of shape, but it is coming and I'm auditioning for things again. I'm patient and I want it, so I'll work as much as it takes. It's never too late to get back to doing what you love. If you have to do what I did and finish school first, that is okay. But maybe try and squeeze in an acting class or something on the side to keep you in shape. And don't think like I did. I assumed it was all over. I know better now. It's not. I'll have to work a bit harder, but I'll get there.

Anyway, the point of all that was that I understand - and I think your feelings are normal.
Updated On: 9/25/06 at 06:42 PM

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 6:43pm

Thank you all so very much.

I did, indeed, get the application in today and I am officially minoring in theatre. w00t.

[Anna_Elizabeth]

Posted: 9/25/06 at 6:56pm

I was a PR major in college and ended up running the theatre box office, helping PR, house managing, sort-of directing, backstage crew, etc. my senior year after getting back from summer stock. I was in the theatre department so much that everyone in the department thought I was a theatre major. I even auditioned. After college, I got a part-time job at the in-town regional theatre, started taking group singing classes that were affiliated with other regional theatres, and went on a few auditions. There were times when I ended up in master classes with the professionals. So, no matter what happens, there are always options. And sometimes, it's much more fun not to have a theatre degree.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 1:02am

It definitely is. I think all actors should be required to take writing courses in the off-chance that they want to write their own stuff and whatnot.

[thevolleyballer]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 2:14am

I suppose what I'm about to say is the agony of a soon-to-be non-theatre major.

I'm a senior in high school right now, and I'd like nothing more than to major in theatre and continue singing and dancing (I'm more those than an actor) all my life. Sadly, we all know that's pretty hard, as you can't graduate with a musical theatre degree and go show it to Marty Bell or Margo Lyon and say, "Here, hire me. I have a degree." Still, now that college applications are here, it's so increasingly tempting to really apply for that major, but I'm not going to. So I'm going to try to minor in it.

But I'm afraid that I'll feel a lack of fulfillment from not actually devoting myself to theatre. Granted, I'm majoring in journalism or communication, as my passion is writing (for any outlet, but preferably entertainment, stage or screen), but I'm just afraid that minoring won't keep me as involved as I want to be.

Is that true? Am I right in thinking that minoring is pointless? Somebody console a distraught senior.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 2:26am

thevolleyballer: did you just burrow within my head and steal my thoughts? wow...you and i are on exactly the same pagem yo.

[Katecab99]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 9:56am

Geez, I am so incredibly with you guys...

but Miss Elphie, I think you're totally right - "it's never too late to get back to doing what you love". That's why even though right now I'm working in a corporate office in a job that has nothing to do with what my real goals and aspirations are, I'm making good money while still training and getting ready to move to manhattan and see what happens from there. I'm 24, so I know it's later than had I decided to go to school for it, but I also look at all those who have been successful who have degrees in things as random as English.

So, we'll see - we all just need to hang in there and follow what we know we really want.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 10:22am

Yay! *Hugs Katecab*

[BSoBW2]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 10:54am

I am a theatre major at my college and what I love is the amount of non-theatre majors we get coming in. We did a production of Glengarry Glen Ross, before my time, and not one theatre student was cast. Each and every cast member was from the school of business.

If you can fit it in to your schedule, no matter who you are, you can audition and be cast. And just because you aren't cast doesn't mean you can't keep auditioning. A lot of it is the director knowing who you are. I say go and talk to theatre professors and tell them your fears and that you would love to be involved. I don't know what your theatre building is like, but we are part of a huge arts center, with many benches and couches and tables where you can do work. It sounds silly, but if you can go into your building, find a spo, and do your work. Theatre students and the like will see you and when it comes time to audition, they will remember seeing you sit there.

Recently I just had this kid audition for me. He wants to be a theatre major, but he definitely thinks he is better than he is. He was probably the big fish in high school. He's a terrible actor and I ended up cutting some of his readings during call backs short because I wanted to knife myself, or worse, hate the script. My point is that just because he IS a theatre major doesn't mean he is any more qualifiedthan someone else. In fact, I just cast a football player in the show who wants to be a theatre minor.

Just go for it! You'll never get noticed if you're not there.

[thevolleyballer]

Posted: 9/26/06 at 4:46pm

To minor, does one need to audition?