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The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

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#1

The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 2:38am

In addition to his flowing-maned Harlequin Romance visage, Lestat's titular hero is just ... so ... emo. He starts off impotently sparring with his daddy (shades of Phil Collins' "No Son of Mine" -- perhaps Sir Elton's sly nod to a contemporary) and whining daintily to his mom on bended knee with his head in her lap. From there he flees to Paris, gets bitten ("The thirst makes me thirsty!"), bites his mom (for companionship, or course), pisses off a rival bloodsucker dude, starts a theater company, and conducts a decade-long search for some reclusive vampire messiah who will ostensibly teach him to stop acting like such a puss. The playbill informs us that songs are performed during these events, but that's applying the word "song" rather liberally, I think. My notes during this act include "WTF," "Shut up," and "Melodies be suckin'."
Oh, but there's MORE
"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt
#4

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 8:16am

Oh dear so will this be the death of vampire musicals?
"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." Conan O'Brien
#5

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 8:51am

The headline and subhed are fantastic:

Emo Vampire Chateau
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, if I put down in words how much Elton John's Lestat musical sucks.
Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none
#6

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 12:44pm

Best - Quote - EVER!


"It's like watching Fabio do overwrought interpretive dances to Fiery Furnaces records."
Some people come into our lives and quietly go, others stay a while, and leave footprints on our heart, and we are never the same.
#7

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 12:54pm

Yeah, but did he like it?

Hehehe... FINALLY an honest review (whether you agree with him or not)
"Cor! me bones is weary!" -Mrs. Lovett
#8

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 1:10pm

As much as I agree with several areas the reviewer brings up...I question his journalistic style. It's not a very professional piece of writing. Reminds me of high school reviewers.

(insert your jokes about Lestat being high schoolish here)
"My dreams, watching me said, one to the other...this life has let us down."
#9

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 1:11pm

Jarrett, I was about to post the exact same quote. That review is high-larious.
Nothing precious, plain to see, don't make a fuss over me. Not loud, not soft, but somewhere inbetween. Say sorry, just let it be the word you mean.
#10

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 1:30pm

Justme - that's basically what the East Bay express is. High school journalism at it's best.
"Oh Link...your pork is ready..." - Edna Turnblad
#11

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 1:43pm

It is horrible journalism, but hysterical! I think I'm going to use the fabio line when anyone asks me about the show.
Some people come into our lives and quietly go, others stay a while, and leave footprints on our heart, and we are never the same.
#12

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 1:44pm

I'd never read this publication before, and "reviews" like that make me glad I don't.
"My dreams, watching me said, one to the other...this life has let us down."
#13

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 2:11pm

The East Bay Express is certainly not mainstream. They know it and their readers know it. Have you ever read the SF Weekly or SF Bay Guardian? They're all cut from the same cloth.

It's just a different style, is all. And I like it. re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review
"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt
#14

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 2:16pm

I think his use of the word "hootenany" was what sold me.
Now what would you say if today I started over? Without a thing but this taped together four leaf clover And I'll pretend like everything is already alright And I'll run toward the sun till the castle's out of sight
#16

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 2:21pm

Oh, but the ads are fun!

(Not the ones in the inside back cover, of course, but...)
"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt
#17

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 2:55pm

Yes, I read Bay Guardian and SF Weekly. You are right; they are all the same kind of style.

But, if you want to right a review of a show..write a review. This piece should have been called Op Ed.
"My dreams, watching me said, one to the other...this life has let us down."

Updated On: 1/29/06 at 02:55 PM

#18

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 4:54pm

(Not the ones in the inside back cover, of course, but...)
----> What's that mean?

I think its great writing. Its written with a nice witty edge to it. The first review that I've read about this show where I actually was interested in the review. He simply talks on a very conversational level and I like it. Not all reviews have to be written with big words and no sort of opinion.
#20

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 6:30pm

Hey, I laughed my ass off at the piece. It's funny as hell and enjoyable to read. But...it's not a "review".

Although this is one of my favorite paragraphs of the "review", it lacks something that a review should have.....something of a description of the "first act disaster" so the reader knows what the writer is actually referring to:

"Avast: This naysayer speaks the truth. Lestat's first act is a disaster, from which its moderately rousing second act cannot recover. Like the Bible or your average NBA game, you needn't bother paying attention until halfway through; one person who seems to have heeded this advice is Elton John himself."

I enjoyed reading it very much for what it is...an Op Ed piece about this guy's night out at Lestat. And no, I am not asking for "big words and opinions". That's not what is lacking.
"My dreams, watching me said, one to the other...this life has let us down."
#21

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 7:02pm

What I would give to read "WTF" in a Ben Brantley review! That pretty much sums it all up. Sadly, this show is filled with "WTF" moments. I like that he's honest and real. Somethings don't need to be over analyzed.

Updated On: 1/12/06 at 07:02 PM

#23

re: The East Bay Express' hysterical Lestat review

Posted: 1/12/06 at 8:51pm

Wow! This show sounds even worse than IN MY LIFE!!!!! Suddenly LESTAT is on my must-see list!!!

This may be a banner year for memorable flops on Broadway!
"Long live God!" (GODSPELL)

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