The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED- Page 2
The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/30/08
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#25
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:09pmThis is a classic - how nice of the TONY producers to give you so much raw material to work with. Thanks a million (as long as it isn't a quartet).
Featured Actor Joined: 2/4/07
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#26
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:11pm
"RÁÚL ÉSPÁRZÁ". Brilliant.
seriously, Gil, you're gonna get me fired cause I was laughing out loud at my desk at work reading the whole thing. F@#ken hilarious!
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/4/04
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#27
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:14pm
I'm glad someone finally mentioned that note(?)
Hosefina almost hit.
The one moment someone wished their mic was not working.
And I doubt the set was made of foam if it broke his nose and split his lip,
No abridged could be as funny as that.
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#28
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:26pm
"the three Billy Elliots when you add them up!"
That's the part where I almost tinkled in my well-packed boxer briefs.
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#29
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:26pm
"Look, I won a Tony and I'm not gay! Here is my wife and these are her bit tits!"
MTVMANN, those are hardly "bit tits".
(Yes I know a typo when I see it.)
Whoops! You are right, they weren't bit tits at all! :)
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#30
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:31pm
Was that really a D6 that she cracked on? I thought the note was a C6.
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#32
Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:49pm
ALICE RIPLEY: AARRGGGGHHH!! GRR AGRH GGRRR ARGH ARGH! MAAAAAH! GRFF!
LOL!
Leading Actor Joined: 5/1/09
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#34
Posted: 6/9/09 at 3:20pmFunny as usual, but it seems a little odd to accuse Stephen Daldry of not doing anything other that Billy Elliot for the last few years, considering he directed "The Reader", and was nominated for an Oscar last year.
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#35
Posted: 6/9/09 at 3:21pm
Seems like a lot of BWWers haven't seen the other Abridgeds
If not, go to Gil's link--they're very clever.
(And I don't know him, I'm not shilling, and I would be the first to say something is not clever enough if it was sub-par. These are near-Gerard Alessandrini.)
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/18/04
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#36
Posted: 6/9/09 at 3:44pm
Just a snippet from "WEST SIDE STORY ABRIDGED" OR "HIGH SCHOOL...SPANISH...MUSICAL"...
"SCENE: ARTHUR LAURENTS' EGOTISTICAL MIND.
DIRECTOR/LIBRETTIST
ARTHUR LAURENTS
(in his own words)
I've come up with a way of doing West Side Story that will
make it absolutely contemporary without changing a word or a
note.
EVERYBODY IN THE
ENTIRE WORLD
That's not really necessary. West Side Story is a classic.
And we're kind of okay with it being a classic, just look at
the recent revival of South Paci--
DIRECTOR/LIBRETTIST
ARTHUR LAURENTS (CONT'D)
And what will annoy you is that I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU
WHAT IT IS.
(pause)
Oh, wait. You'll be annoyed that I'm going to destroy my own
musical, angrily clutching at it as I sink into the grave.
Yes, that part of it might annoy you more."
I mean, come on. HI-frigging-sterical.
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/13/04
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#37
Posted: 6/9/09 at 3:46pm
Brilliant stuff!
Did Gil used to contribute to TVgasm?
That site hasn't done a Tony-awards commentary in a few years. 
TVgasm on the 2004 Tonys
Stand-by Joined: 2/2/07
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#38
Posted: 6/9/09 at 3:58pm
@TulitaPepsi Nope I didn't.
But, I just registered HeroesAbridged.com because I decided that if I'm going to keep watching that horrible television show, the world is going to deal with my suffering.
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/13/04
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#39
Posted: 6/9/09 at 4:06pm
I can't believe I've only just discovered your site! It's my new favorite Broadway site next to the deranged Fan Fotos
at BroadwaySecrets.
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#40
Posted: 6/9/09 at 6:11pm
Actually... I did find my interest piqued by the ridiculously short clip for 33 Variations. If it wants to come to London, then I'll definitely see it. :)
I'm possibly not normal though...
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#41
Posted: 6/9/09 at 6:33pm
Thank you, Gil! Brilliant.
Now that FORBIDDEN BROADWAY is gone, you're our only hope for clever, intelligent parodies or Broadway shows.
I eagerly anticipate your deconstruction of NEXT TO NORMAL.
-Kad
"I have also met him in person, and I find him to be quite funny actually. Arrogant and often misinformed, but still funny."
-bjh2114 (on Michael Riedel)
Stand-by Joined: 7/14/03
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#42
Posted: 6/9/09 at 8:21pm
That 'Hair' redhead trying to give John Stamos a lap dance is...
https://www.broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=30625
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#43
Posted: 6/9/09 at 8:43pmI LOVE that they called him Uncle Jesse!!! I can NEVER take him seriously in anything now and ALL I see if "Full House"!
Stand-by Joined: 2/2/07
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#44
Posted: 6/9/09 at 9:52pm
That 'Hair' redhead trying to give John Stamos a lap dance is...
https://www.broadwayworld.com/viewcolumn.cfm?colid=30625
That's why I called her out, she's a friend of a friend. I paused the Tivo to shout out, "That's Megan Reinking giving John Stamos a lapdance!"
That's how you know you've made it.
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#45
Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:16pmThis made my day!
re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#46
Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:20pm
I like how an ATCer is all butthurt about this. LOLZ.
Broadway Legend Joined: 4/29/06
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