The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED

[PalJoey]

The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#1

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:12am

This is the meanest abridged ever. I love it.
THE 2009 TONY AWARDS: ABRIDGED: A "Broadway Abridged" Recap

[PalJoey]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#2

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:19am

Hmmm...coupla bloopers, Gil.

Liza sings a song about how to spell her name. Listen to it sometime.

And the memorial clips were to "What I Did for Love" not "Memory."

[blueroses]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#2

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:21am

"KID OVER OSKAR'S LEFT
SHOULDER
(is welling with tears)
(is moaning)
(is having an orgasm?)
(is... getting a blowjob right
behind Oskar Eustis?)"

Hilarious, PJ! I couldn't take my eyes off that guy. He's the same cast member who gave me a huge hug on stage when I saw the show.

[PalJoey]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#3

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:23am

I'm seeing it again in a few weeks. I'll look out for him.

[MotorTink]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#4

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:30am

loved it

BroadwayBoobs: I'll give all of you who weren't there a hint of who took the pictures ...it rhymes with shameless

SOMMS: I knew it was Tink!

[BroadwayAbridged]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#5

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:36am

There were (still are?) typos and errors all over this one... now imagine next year when I actually bother staying up to get it done for the next day.

And I swear--even going back over the thing in Tivo last night--that there was at least an instrumental Memory, even if it only started out like that. Not near the Tivo right now though...

By the way, I am finding it harder and harder to believe I used to watch award shows without Tivo once...


Broadway Abridged

- Gil http://www.broadwayabridged.com

Updated On: 6/9/09 at 10:36 AM

[yay_gerb]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#6

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:36am

i've never read one of these before. this is freakin hilarious.


"Anyway, the winner of West Side vs. Hair is...
(does mini Herbal Essences
commercial)
Hair."

too funny!

BROADWAY IMPACT!
TAKE ACTION! EQUALITY!
http://www.broadwayimpact.com/

[ColorTheHours048]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#7

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:40am

This is basically how I viewed the Tonys. Love the NPH love all over it.

[bjh2114]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#8

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:41am

In the 33 Variations quote, the author wrote "they're embalmed" instead of "they're in Bonn." I find that funny.

Also, he writes "AUDIENCE (is confused at the lack of context)
(doesn't even *consider* buying tickets)"

The show is already closed.... Updated On: 6/9/09 at 10:41 AM

[taylorPHENOMENON2]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#9

Posted: 6/9/09 at 10:42am

SOUND GUY
(more snoring)

pretty much!


AUDIENCE
I still have no idea what that play is, but at least I heard them say the title in that clip! So that's good I guess?


These are hilarious!!

[Yankeefan007]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#10

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:02am

That's Gil's best one yet.

[PalJoey]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#11

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:08am

We love you, Gil, despite your mistakes.

Keep on, abridgin'!

[#1Elphie]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#12

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:11am

This is absolutely hilarious! Much more entertaining than the actual telecast.

[PiraguaGuy2]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#13

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:18am

Amazing. PLEASE eviscerate Billy Elliot next.

Formerly SirNotAppearing - Joined 3/08

[SporkGoddess]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#14

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:35am

Yeah, those poor nominated plays--they got, what, one line?

Oh, and Liza didn't get cut off. I was laughing because the other person had but she didn't.

Jimmy, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? It's almost 9 PM!

Updated On: 6/9/09 at 11:35 AM

[Kad]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#15

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:36am

It was really embarrassing. It was about 20 seconds of the least exciting point of each play.

"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."

[MTVMANN]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#16

Posted: 6/9/09 at 11:46am

So funny!

I love the Alice Ripley speech part!

[TheatreDiva90016]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#17

Posted: 6/9/09 at 12:24pm

The thing about the HAIR cast member was right on. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was like he was going through a screen test and showing a range of emotions.

I also loved this part:

"Next to Normal does a number.


It's funny to watch the INTENSITY when
you can't understand a word, nor what's going on...


And it kinda sounds like drunk people playing ROCK BAND."

"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

[jordangirl]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#18

Posted: 6/9/09 at 12:27pm

Yes, as the in memoraium section was starting, the music was "Memory" but the song sung by the chorus was "What I Did For Love"

Experience live theater. Experience paintings. Experience books. Live, look and listen like artists! ~ imaginethis
LIVE THAT LESSON!!!!!!

[scaryclowns2232]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#19

Posted: 6/9/09 at 12:35pm

Thank the lord I'm not the only one who noticed how huge Gregory Jbara's wife's cans are...

[TheatreDiva90016]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#20

Posted: 6/9/09 at 12:41pm

How could you miss them?!

That dress was a marvel of engineering.

"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

[MTVMANN]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#21

Posted: 6/9/09 at 12:49pm

I'm going to have to re-watch the HAIR revival award part to see that guy!

Also, I thought the Jbara wife thing was more of a "Look, I won a Tony and I'm not gay! Here is my wife and these are her bit tits!" Updated On: 6/9/09 at 12:49 PM

[thevolleyballer]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#22

Posted: 6/9/09 at 1:45pm

Only had time to read the opening, and it was absolutely HYSTERICAL. Wonderful!

[Yero my Hero]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#23

Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:08pm

ANGELA LANSBURY: I haven't aged in forty years, and I'm proud to accept the OLD WOMAN NOBODY WOULD EVEN CONSIDER VOTING AGAINST award in the category of ANGELA LANSBURY AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ANGELA LANSBURY.

Brilliant! Thanks!

Nothing matters but knowing nothing matters. ~ Wicked
Everything in life is only for now. ~ Avenue Q
There is no future, there is no past. I live this moment as my last. ~ Rent

"He's a tramp, but I love him."

[BroadwayAbridged]

re: The Tony Awards--ABRIDGED#24

Posted: 6/9/09 at 2:08pm

"Look, I won a Tony and I'm not gay! Here is my wife and these are her bit tits!"

MTVMANN, those are hardly "bit tits".

(Yes I know a typo when I see it.)

- Gil http://www.broadwayabridged.com