Worst Lyrics in a musical theatre song

[dramarama2]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 5:46am

Are there any examples of really bad lyrics in a music theatre song. Either a bad rhyme, or simply stupid lyrics.

My favoutite is in "So Much Better" from LB.

They rhyme "I guess my best was not working for you" with "I so look forward to working with you". Now that's just stupid...

[Eastwickian]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 7:11am

"To kill outside St Paul
Requires a lot of balls"

Even amongst the sea of dross that is Jekyll & Hyde, that one really stood out.

[jasonf]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 7:53am

The entire lyric of Real Nice Clambake from Carousel

First, they're all nostalgic about food they just ate an hour ago (if I get as full as they say they are, I'm usually thinking about anything BUT food an hour later!), and then they compare the food to being "fit for an angel's choir." Not only does the lyric not make a whole lot of sense (angel's CHOIR???) but I've NEVER heard anyone praise a meal like that.

[scooter38432]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 8:13am

Her hair is blonde and curly.
Her curls are hurly-burly.
Her lips are pips.
I call her hips whirly and twirly.

She's my baby. I'm her pap.
I'm her booby, she's my trap.
I am caught and I don't wanna run
'cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun.

-Oscar Hammerstein, SOUTH PACIFIC

Perhaps some of the worst lyrics EVER (not to mention pretty offensive these days)...

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 8:14am

There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed

[freeadmission]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 8:20am

scooter, I wouldn't call those the worst musical theatre lyrics. I actually think they perfectly suit their purpose in the show. I mean, the song is a farcical little ditty to give the sailors a little break from the thinking about the war. A girl dressed as a guy sings it to a guy dressed as a girl, for goodness' sake!


Edited for a heinous grammar mistake.

Updated On: 6/15/07 at 08:20 AM

[Born To Reign]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 8:21am

It's weird. That lyric in So Much Better has always bothered me, and I wondered why they never re-wrote it. I then heard an early demo with Kerry Butler, and in the same spot they rhyme "love me again" with "love me again" so I think they must have made a conscious decision to repeat a line there. Though I can't figure out WHY!

[scooter38432]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 8:33am

freeadmission, I do think that the lyrics to "Honey Bun" are certainly SOME of the worst ever, regardless of the context. Looking at his other work, Hammerstein was certainly clever enough to have come up with something better that also fit the bill for context and purpose.

Those lyrics bite.

IMHO, of course.

P.S. I personally like the "Clambake" lyrics...

Updated On: 6/15/07 at 08:33 AM

[Horton]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 8:38am

The Pirate Queen.

There are some of the worst rhymes of all time in that score, they rhyme MAN with SEAMAN, and I don't mean sperm, i mean a man of the sea.

[broadwaybaby086]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 10:05am

redhot, at least Schwartz managed to get in three verb tenses of the same word. That has to be some kind of achievement.

[WickedGeek28]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 10:11am

Shipoopi

[DrMark]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 10:15am

Updated On: 6/15/07 at 10:15 AM

[DrMark]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 10:16am

"Love is like a virus
I'm infected with."

From "Jane Eyre"

I loved that show, but I laugh every time I hear those lines. James Barbour delivers them with such conviction that it's almost silly. Of course, a preposition should never end a sentence, either!

[ShbrtAlley44]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 10:51am

I know they're not terrible in the long run, but I just hate them:
"When a Pseudolus can move,
The universe shakes
But I'll never move
Until I'm free!"

[Kitzarina]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 11:30am

Other than the afore mentioned J&H lyric, I have to add

Uh - Nessa
I've got something to confess, a
Reason why, well -
Why I asked you here tonight

Nessa and confess-a just make my brain hurt.

[karen24]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:01pm

At the risk of offending Rentheads everywhere:

"Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Our labors would reap financial gains...

We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And save from devastation our brains"

That has ALWAYS bothered me. I love the music but the lyrics in that song--especially that part--just make me cringe. I always tell myself that maybe Larson would have fixed it had he lived.

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:08pm

haha you can tell how old(or young) everyone is by the answers

If you think LB or wicked etc have the worst lyrics you havent heard a lot.

from Carrie the musical-song-Out For Blood

Its a simple little gig you help me kill a pig , and ive got some plans for the blood.
Chop kill the pig pig pig , kill kill kill and make it bleed, get the blood blood blood oh blood , kill the pig make it bleed get the blood its all we needs, out for blood

Of course Carrie had some amazing songs but this one was bloody awful

[musicaldude57]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:19pm

I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
And I don't L-I-K-E it one small bit.
I'm too young to be a father;
There are lots of things I'd rather be--
Like working down a coal P-I-T pit!
-Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

Wow! A grown man can spell 3 and 4 letter words! I'm so impressed!
After that song, I was forced to shut off the CD for sheer annoyance.

[jv92]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:25pm

Paris is so sexy
riding in a taxi
gives me appoplexi
or
Paris makes me horny
It's not like Californ-y
- Victor Victoria

From the master of bad lyrics, Leslie Bricusse.

[thenewmoon]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:26pm

Can't believe it hasn't been included yet, but
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...

[jv92]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:27pm

Those are bad, but not as bad as the rest of Spring Awakening's lyrics.

[musicaldude57]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:31pm

I'd also like to add that "Stop the World" is also by Leslie Bricusse...surprise

[yellibean2]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:33pm

I've heard worse, but...:
"My teeth ache with the urge to touch her..."
-She Loves Me

[jv92]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:34pm

Don't diss Sheldon Harnick or else Sondheim'll come at you, yellibean.
Updated On: 6/15/07 at 12:34 PM

[Raviolisun]

Posted: 6/15/07 at 12:39pm

That has ALWAYS bothered me. I love the music but the lyrics in that song--especially that part--just make me cringe. I always tell myself that maybe Larson would have fixed it had he lived.

Actually, a lot of Larson's stuff pre-collaboration was about brains splattering and things like that.