Worst Lyrics in a musical theatre song — Page 3

"Nearly everyone you see like him and her and you and me pretends to be the pillar of society."

"So, what is the sinister secret?
The lie he will tell you is true. It's that each man you meet in the street isn't one man but two!"

"There are preachers who kill, there are killers who preach, there are teachers who lie, there are liars who teach.
Take yer pick, dear cause it's all a façade"


all from Facade in Jekyll and Hyde

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The absolute worst:

"And if he has to kill
a thousand men,
The Phantom of the Opera will kill
and kill again!"

"You hear me, Raoul? He'll kill, even if he has to kill to do it!"

Oh my word! I never noticed that, Edmund! That hilariously awful!

It's the same thing with "I cried out, like in Latin, 'This is so not life at all.'" It always makes me think, "I've chanted 'amo, amas, amat', but never 'This is so not life at all.' What an odd Latin class."

These lyricists need to go back to grammar school.

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Updated On: 6/16/07 at 09:05 AM

everything from spring awakening. especially the "blahs"

"Oh Noah, you go-a all the way back to the protazoa"
Schwartz, Children of Eden

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To be fair, I think most of the lyrics in Spring Awakening were intentionally written colloquially not only to mimic the way teenagers today actually talk, but also to make the contrast between the more proper or "correct" dialogue of the actual script and the edgier aspect of Duncan Shiek's music more severe.

I think the lyrics in Legally Blonde are perfect for the show. Let's face it, it's a show about a valley girl going after her man, and while it has a somewhat meaningful message, it's not a very "intellectual" show.

The worst lyrics by far are in on the Fame on 42nd Street recording. Every lyric in the show is dripping with cheese, but the creme de la creme is when the entire cast shouts, "EVERYBODY DANCE!" during the dance break in Hard Work. I cringe every time.

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Updated On: 6/16/07 at 03:45 PM

"...Well if thats love it comes at much to high a cost, id sooner buy defying gravity..."
not the best stevie

As much as I LOVE Wicked, the rhymes are somewhat lame.
"You're perfect, you're perfect!
So we're perfect together,
born to be forever!"
Together and forever? Sounds like something I would write. Wicked can swing either way for me lyric-wise. For instance: a song like For Good that actually has substance is wonderful. But then again there's Dacning Through Life to which the lyrics are embarrassing.
"The one in the chair?
It seems so unfair
We should go on a spree
and not she"
Seriously. Come on Steven, you're supposed to be a pro!

(posting under Dad's name - actually "Curtain Up")

Some defense for "Spring Awakening" - the "likes" are a little excessive, but it captures the voice very well. And the "blahs" are perfect for the drones the teens hear out of adults. I've heard the My Junk complaint more than once, and I am a word nerd, but actually love that line.
When a song makes you think of someone you love/like/are hot for, and you can relate to the singer's voice when they mention a "you", it gives you a little rush. That's "shooting up the you you in the you of some song."
The lyrics aren't perfect, but the lyrics+score has grown on me. Honestly, they're what? 16?

My peeve has always been Wicked. I GUESS I'll forgive the made up words but Nessa/Confessa.

And "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" - I LOVE that song. C'mon he's a rapping, goofy white boy! It's supposed to be silly, and "our" friend is the friend of him and Al Roker. They'll all hang out. I think so many lyrics work, even if they're not brilliant, for they're characterization. That's why I LOVE Popular's lyrics but I'm not crazy about the rest.

We want to complain about stretching for a rhyme, you can't do worse than Cole Porter. that guy was just plain lazy. "Kiss Me Kate" has many unforgivable ones, but the worst is:

"Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy,
I hate most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy,
He may have hair upon his chest but, sister, so has Lassie."

Not only is it the typical Cole Porter "pronounce this wrong so it'll rhyme", the one that gets pronounced wrong comes first. That's just stupid.

Cole Porter stinks out loud. Every stretched rhyme, every mispronunciation, every obvious line, every awkward line, every tacked-on syllable. Well, to say he stinks is unfair. But he's vastly overrated as a lyricist. In a world where we have Stephen Sondheim and Stephin Merritt and even David Yazbeck, the idolizing of Cole Porter as the paragon of lyric writing is inexcusable.

Yeah, I said it.

To the people hating on Spring Awakening's lyrics - I'm a big fan of the show and actually like the teenage dialect stuff he did. However, that said, the worst lyrics in the show are by FAR in "Song of Purple Summer," they're just disguised because it's a pretty song. Look them up to read it in its complete nonsensical glory, but in particular:

The Earth will wave with corn,
The grey fly choir will mourn,
And mares will neigh with stallions that they mate,
Foals they've born.

Also, anything in BIG: The Musical.