Worst Lyrics in a musical theatre song- Page 3

[2ndBalcony]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 4:27am

But what follows is even dumber:

Poker with Al Roker
And our friend Lorenzo Lamas.



Hello? Is Al Roker supposed to represent an A-list celebrity? And "our friend" Lorenzo Lamas? Whose friend?

It's so obvious that they just chose names that rhyme. It's awful.

[COOOOLkid]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 4:41am

"Nearly everyone you see like him and her and you and me pretends to be the pillar of society."

"So, what is the sinister secret?
The lie he will tell you is true. It's that each man you meet in the street isn't one man but two!"

"There are preachers who kill, there are killers who preach, there are teachers who lie, there are liars who teach.
Take yer pick, dear cause it's all a façade"


all from Facade in Jekyll and Hyde

[EdmundOG]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 8:35am

Hello? Is Al Roker supposed to represent an A-list celebrity? And "our friend" Lorenzo Lamas? Whose friend?
--------------------------

I think the joke is that Freddy's ideal celebrity friends are the guy from the today show and a washed up '80s guy. Freddy's aspired level of fame is The Surreal Life.

[EdmundOG]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 8:37am

The absolute worst:

"And if he has to kill
a thousand men,
The Phantom of the Opera will kill
and kill again!"

"You hear me, Raoul? He'll kill, even if he has to kill to do it!"

[Dollypop]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 8:51am

There are two that come to mind immediately:

ANNIE GET YOU GUN:

"Her nails will be polished
And in her hair
She'll Wear a gardenia
And I'll be there."

(Where will he be? In her hair?)

GYPSY:

"You'll be swell
Wait and see
There's the bell
Follow me"

(Has Mama Rose turned this into a boxing match?)

[freeadmission]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 9:05am

Oh my word! I never noticed that, Edmund! That hilariously awful!

It's the same thing with "I cried out, like in Latin, 'This is so not life at all.'" It always makes me think, "I've chanted 'amo, amas, amat', but never 'This is so not life at all.' What an odd Latin class."

These lyricists need to go back to grammar school.

Updated On: 6/16/07 at 09:05 AM

[istillbelieve24601]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 9:26am

COOOLkid, I actually think the lyrics to Facade are quite good compared to the rest of the crap in the show. Dont get me started on the finale: "Oh god, not this... Oh god, not now... I feel this fill me... this will kill me..." What I hate about the whole structure of Jekyll and Hyde, besides the fact it is an utterly crappy show, is the fact it tries to push on the whole two-person-in-one hypocrite theme far too much. Does the word subtle mean nothing to the writers?

Hands down worst lyric, though, goes to the first example from Jekyll and Hyde: "To kill outside St. Pauls requires a lot of balls." First of all, when in the show previously was St. Paul's mentioned? Second of all, what about... I don't know... gall...

I actually like the blah, blahs and all the lyrics to Totally F*CKed. As a teenager, the blahs really stand out to me as what my teachers sound like and I totally agree with the statement: You're ****ed if you speak your mind, and you know you will.

[thesinger]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 10:58am

everything from spring awakening. especially the "blahs"

[desiree armfeldt]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 11:43am

i love the lyrics in the rest of the show....but in Little women there's this great moment in "Better":

How can what he said to me be true?
If I don't succeed, what will I do?
Turn around, go back to Concord?
Leave New York behind
Unconquered? No!


I love how they rhyme concord with unconquered. It's TOO easy!

[bwayboi4life42]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 1:27pm

"Oh Noah, you go-a all the way back to the protazoa"
Schwartz, Children of Eden

[vfd88]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 3:33pm

While I love Spring Awakening, some of the lyrics are awful and some make NO SENSE.

"I go up to my room, turn the stereo on,
Shoot up some you, in the you of some song."

What?

I actually like "To my people in the dark, still out there in the dark."

[gypsiedtokill]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 3:45pm

To be fair, I think most of the lyrics in Spring Awakening were intentionally written colloquially not only to mimic the way teenagers today actually talk, but also to make the contrast between the more proper or "correct" dialogue of the actual script and the edgier aspect of Duncan Shiek's music more severe.

I think the lyrics in Legally Blonde are perfect for the show. Let's face it, it's a show about a valley girl going after her man, and while it has a somewhat meaningful message, it's not a very "intellectual" show.

The worst lyrics by far are in on the Fame on 42nd Street recording. Every lyric in the show is dripping with cheese, but the creme de la creme is when the entire cast shouts, "EVERYBODY DANCE!" during the dance break in Hard Work. I cringe every time.

Updated On: 6/16/07 at 03:45 PM

[I'm_not_that_girl89]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 4:25pm

there is one in Wicked that has always bothered me in Dancing through Life
Nessa:
"Finally for this one night
I'm about to have a fun night"

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 5:36pm

"...Well if thats love it comes at much to high a cost, id sooner buy defying gravity..."
not the best stevie

[HeyMrMusic]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 7:00pm

Pretty much any time Stephen Schwartz forces a rhyme, I cringe.
Basically, all of Wicked.
He has good and clever ideas, but many of them just don't work.
I mean, I think he writes terrific lyrics sometimes.
But o goodness, Mr. Schwartz, please stay away from trick rhymes. Leave that to Sondheim, who is a true master of them.

For the record, "surface" does not rhyme with "turf is." "Oz" and "was" don't rhyme either (is it supposed to be pronounced "woz?"). Rhymes that don't rhyme make me shake my head.

~Steven

[DEFYxGRAViTY721]

Posted: 6/16/07 at 11:13pm

As much as I LOVE Wicked, the rhymes are somewhat lame.
"You're perfect, you're perfect!
So we're perfect together,
born to be forever!"
Together and forever? Sounds like something I would write. Wicked can swing either way for me lyric-wise. For instance: a song like For Good that actually has substance is wonderful. But then again there's Dacning Through Life to which the lyrics are embarrassing.
"The one in the chair?
It seems so unfair
We should go on a spree
and not she"
Seriously. Come on Steven, you're supposed to be a pro!

[joniray]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 12:44am

""Oz" and "was" don't rhyme either..."

They rhyme just as much as they did in "The Wizard of Oz"

We're off to see the Wizard
The wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a wiz of a wiz
If ever a wiz there was...

but I've never heard anyone complain when it was used then.

[regnad kcin]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 1:02am

(posting under Dad's name - actually "Curtain Up")

Some defense for "Spring Awakening" - the "likes" are a little excessive, but it captures the voice very well. And the "blahs" are perfect for the drones the teens hear out of adults. I've heard the My Junk complaint more than once, and I am a word nerd, but actually love that line.
When a song makes you think of someone you love/like/are hot for, and you can relate to the singer's voice when they mention a "you", it gives you a little rush. That's "shooting up the you you in the you of some song."
The lyrics aren't perfect, but the lyrics+score has grown on me. Honestly, they're what? 16?

My peeve has always been Wicked. I GUESS I'll forgive the made up words but Nessa/Confessa.

And "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" - I LOVE that song. C'mon he's a rapping, goofy white boy! It's supposed to be silly, and "our" friend is the friend of him and Al Roker. They'll all hang out. I think so many lyrics work, even if they're not brilliant, for they're characterization. That's why I LOVE Popular's lyrics but I'm not crazy about the rest.

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 1:20am

It's not Broadway, but if you want Stephen Schwartz at his worst, go listen to "Savages" from Pocahontas.

[EdmundOG]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 3:45pm

We want to complain about stretching for a rhyme, you can't do worse than Cole Porter. that guy was just plain lazy. "Kiss Me Kate" has many unforgivable ones, but the worst is:

"Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy,
I hate most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy,
He may have hair upon his chest but, sister, so has Lassie."

Not only is it the typical Cole Porter "pronounce this wrong so it'll rhyme", the one that gets pronounced wrong comes first. That's just stupid.

[GovernorSlaton]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 4:05pm

I don't really think Cole Porter needs anyone to defend his lyrics, but I've always thought that that line (in addition to several others like it in Kiss Me, Kate) was a joke about the sometimes strange stresses of iambic pentameter. I.e., if one follows the rhythms of that first line, the emphasis is placed thusly: DEM-o-CRAC-y.

[EdmundOG]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 6:16pm

Cole Porter stinks out loud. Every stretched rhyme, every mispronunciation, every obvious line, every awkward line, every tacked-on syllable. Well, to say he stinks is unfair. But he's vastly overrated as a lyricist. In a world where we have Stephen Sondheim and Stephin Merritt and even David Yazbeck, the idolizing of Cole Porter as the paragon of lyric writing is inexcusable.

Yeah, I said it.

[misschung]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 6:32pm

Woah, Edmund. I don't know if I agree with you on that one, but ok lol. Idolizing anyone as the paragon of anything is usually a little much, tho - I'll give you that.

Anyway, this line could so easily be remedied
"...Well if thats love it comes at much to high a cost, id sooner buy defying gravity..."

if you only change the "buy" to "try" - oh well.

[bigred3535]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 6:38pm

To the people hating on Spring Awakening's lyrics - I'm a big fan of the show and actually like the teenage dialect stuff he did. However, that said, the worst lyrics in the show are by FAR in "Song of Purple Summer," they're just disguised because it's a pretty song. Look them up to read it in its complete nonsensical glory, but in particular:

The Earth will wave with corn,
The grey fly choir will mourn,
And mares will neigh with stallions that they mate,
Foals they've born.

Also, anything in BIG: The Musical.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 6/17/07 at 7:50pm

I get why people dislike those Spring Awakwning lyrics but I kinda love them--again I don't think you can or shoul dput them side by side with Hammerstein.

Whoever mentioned David Spencer I'll give a big agree to--I for manyr easons adore Weird Romance--but David Spencer's lyrics aren't one of them. (Menken had a few bad lyricists in his time--which made Tim RIce look positively brilliant--Jack Feldman for Newsies and the aborted A Little Princess comes to mind. and whoever did the lyrics for his shows Duddy Kravitz and Dream on Royale Street)