Your Most Embarassing Theatre Moment — Page 4

Gosh, I could go on forever, . . .

I think my favorite mix up was during My Fair Lady. I was in the chorus and I was one of the few, the proud, those in the Embassy Ball. So when the curtain goes up, we are supposed to be in a freeze, the music starts, and we unfreeze. So I'm supposed to shake a gentlemens hand, then kiss the hand of his consort. However, I not only shook his hand, but kissed it as well.

More to come . . .

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This wasn't quite theatre, it was Odyssey of the Mind. We had to create our own skit with props and whatnot. One of our props was a giant oragami bird with a 3 foot wingspan on a twelve foot tall pole. At the end we did a song and dance while the bird extended over the audience. (We also had two large ancient oriental styled houses on either side of the bird.) Anyway, at the end of the song and dance we were supposed to do some sort of spin with jazz hands. But I thought I heard something behind me, and kind of zoned out of the dance and stared at our set. I knew something was going to happen, but I finally snapped out of it and noticed all my teammates were in position and I wasn't. I quickly got into position when the two houses crashed to the ground.
Luckily, no one in the audience noticed my uh-oh because they were all so in awe/fear of this giant bird they thought would fall on them.

This isn't an acting story,but I guess it counts. In high school,I was on the stage crew when we did Once Upon a Mattress.
So the time comes for the curtain cue and I signaled my friend to lower the curtain and she did but the curtain stopped coming down about halfway because the hinges were rusty,and still are I think. So the director ran over and yelled at me and I said
I DID cue her! The curtain is STUCK!. Funny now,but I get really irritated when people yell at me.

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Okay, okay...

This is definitely one of the funniest moments I can remember...

I was playing Charlie in BRIGADOON and for our school preview (which were awful!) we were doing selected scenes to spark the schools interest in attending. The company was performing the big opening "Come to the fair!" number, and I was offstage singing...

So, as you all know...Sandy the Candy-Man has his little solo...

Then, during what should be Meg's solo (but was given to my friend, and the actress playing Kate to spead out some solo's) was the worst line flubbing I've ever heard.

First...the actress playing Kate had broken her thumb two days before, so...here in good old Brigadoon she had a cast on her arm that was wrapped up in a big ole striped SLING with which she had to deal with dancing and using props..etc...so...this SHOULD have been her solo...

I'm sellin' a bit o' milk an' cream.
Come sip it an' ye will vow
That this is the finest milk an' cream
That ever came out a cow.
Though finest it is,the price is small,
With milk an' the cream alack!
There's nothin' to do but sell it all.
The cow winna take it back.

This is what her solo turned out to be...

I'm sellin' a bit o' milk an' cream.
Come sip it an' ye will vow
That this is the finest milk an' cream
That ever came out a cow.
(Then she starts singing Sandy's verse about Candy...not milk..)
I eat it myself an' there's no doubt, (looks around nervously)
'Tis creamy an' good an' thick,
(drops accent)
so...um..I...hope you buy some!!!
(with attitude) cause the cow's not gonna take it! EUGH!

The audience was seriously silent with a few "...what?!?!..." gasps...

The part that kills me is she delivered the last two lines with such attitude as if SHE wasn't the one in the wrong, and huffs off center stage looking so agitated...

I fell to the ground backstage and laughed for the rest of the song

Community theatre always brings out the best in me...

JOSEPH, 2000: The Brothers had to change from the Egyptian scene to "Those Canaan Days" very quickly. Our first preview, we had no one to help us backstage, so we all came out in various states of undress - but to be fair, we all had out barets on. It would have been funny had it not been for the sound system which went out suddenly so we couldn't hear anything in the pit below us. The guy taking the solo took ages to pick up his place and just sort of stood there, half naked, in front of a disbelieving audience. NOT...FUN.

LEGENDS, 2001: We did a revue of Gershwin, Lowe, Berlin, Rodgers, and Porter. In the Lowe section, my "father" had to sing "How to Handle a Woman" to me. Well, one particular night, going on, I stupidly ran into a metal ladder backstage leading to flies. I went on stage, a little jilted. My nose started to bleed halfway thru the song and I just tried for dear life to hold my nose. As soon as the number finished, I ran off stage and blood poured down my face and into the wings. The costume designer happened to be backstage. Her words were classic: "Oh My God!...Did you get any blood on your costume??"

GUYS AND DOLLS, 2003: The Sewer Dance. It was the worst choreography I've ever performed...and I'm not a good dancer. Box step, left right, left right, box step, pivet, jump, fosse pose.

OLIVER, 2004: I did The Artful Dodger and it was so much fun! But it seemed I kept doing something wrong in my entrance. Two nights in a row, I slipped on some water on stage (left from the previous scene) and fell on all fours. I kept jumping too far in front of Oliver and almost falling on him. Then, one night, I put my foot thru the stairs in front of a sold out audience that knew exactly what I had done. Opening night had a fun one. I was being dragged off by the cops and I finish my big rant and I turn around and hit the wall of the procenium HARD. But thankfully in the moment, I yelled: "And what kind of a place is that for a wall!?". The audience broke down and I got a round. It was pretty cool.

CAMELOT, 2006: The show itself. Why I was in it, I don't know. Shudder.

double post

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Updated On: 8/15/06 at 01:59 AM

I was the pit conductor for West Side Story and the musicians were horrible. During "MAMBO", the whole tenor sax riff was almost just a note every now and then when the person could squeak one out. The drums, well, everyone was so horrible the dancers couldn't find their beats. I'm waving my arms like a lunatic hoping the dancers could tell I was going 1 2 1 2 1 2!!! It was embarrassing, because it was my responsibility to teach them. I did everything I could, but their talent was what got me in trouble.

Also, I designed the puppets for Little Shop. I had a small budget to work with, so the puppets weren't the best they could have been. During the scene where SPOILER
Audrey gets eaten, the puppeteer opens the top jaw. He opens it so wide that it falls over exposing him. I felt guilty for that.

Sitting through CHICAGO, not the bad part, with Melanie Griffin as Roxie, the bad part.

This isn't as interesting as the ones above me, but I will add it anyway...I was in Gold Chorus in middle school. There was Blue Chorus where you just sang, but in gold chorus, you got to dance and sing! Well, one year, we did the song "Bare Necessities" from The Jungle Book. So all of us had to wear black pants and a yellow shirt. I don't know why I found getting a yellow shirt so difficult, but I did and it was rather atrocious. Plus...it is really hard to match yellows and when you have a million different shades, it doesn't look so good. But I digress. Anyway, I had to be up there in my ugly yellow shirt, and was, of course, placed in the middle. And my dancing partner? An 8th grader dressed up in a BEAR costume! Oh so corny and dumb looking! It was loads of fun!

And pretty much my only other time up on stage wasn't particularly pleasant either...I played Mrs. Claus in The Littlest Christmas Tree when I was in 2nd grade. I didn't come in until the end, but having to start a song was nerve-wracking enough to make me almost forget my line. For the part I also put a whole lot of baby powder in my hair to make it grey. That was fun though...especially for what, an 8 year old?