parent trouble

[NoDayButToday2]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 7:35pm

ok. ive been making a living for quite a few years being an ensemble member in a touring company living out of a suitcase not paid all that much never in the same town for more than a week situation... and i absolutely love it, every once in a while i take a break and do some local stuff, plus a few very minor roles in commercials. My parents think that this sort of living is "low". they think that i should turn down job offers unless the part is big and will get me noticed. well, unlike the other millions of people in the musical theatre buisiness, i dont like being noticed. i find it very nerve racking and stressful to know that sometimes hundreds of people are watching me if i mess up. I hate singing solo unless its only in front of a few people... auditions for example. I love being an ensemble member because i still get to do what i love im just not front and center for everyone to see, but my parents really dont approve and refuse to see a performence until i have 'a role worth their 2 hours' or am on Broadway, and havent seen me perform since i was in highschool... i guess im just sort of hurt that they can be so selfish when i am happy with my career at this point in time... has anyone else ever been in this situation before? any ideas how i can get them to be just a little more supportive?

Posted: 8/10/04 at 7:39pm

My initial reaction to this post was a surge of anger, followed by a deep sadness. In all honesty, it sounds to me like you've got bigger problems than getting them to see you in a show. Ultimately, I can only say that you live your life for YOU, not anyone else. And if they choose not to participate, that's their loss. My heart is with you.

[insomniak]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 7:43pm

I'm really sorry that your parents aren't supportive of your career, but you have to do what is right for you. If you love being in the ensemble, do it. The ensemble is essential to any show, and I'm sorry your parents can't see that. I don't know what you can do except try to explain that you have what you want and that living like that is not failing at all. Updated On: 8/10/04 at 07:43 PM

[zoran912]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 7:45pm

I really hope that they will be understanding. Ensemble roles are still important. It's not too much to go see your child in even one show. It seems to me that they don't know how professional theatre works. It's not like you can just "get" a lead role immediately. If that is not even what you want, they should be understanding. Parents are so...wierd!

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 7:47pm

As a parent all I can say is, "Wow." To have a kid who is healthy, happy, and employed doing something that makes him happy. Really, what more could someone want.

This kind of thing breaks my heart. Hell, I'll come see your show.

[aspiringguy715]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 7:53pm

I'm very sorry to hear about your parents' reactions. The ensemble is a hugely important part of any show. I'm lucky enough that my parents are supportive of me whatever role I may get, though they still want me to have a Music Ed degree to back me up...argh. Parents can definitely be the biggest stress additions of anyone's life. Hope it works out with your parents, good luck.

[Sunfish]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 8:52pm

I'm with DGrant, I was ANGRY when I read that. It certainly sounds like it is more about them and their egos than you and your happiness. (MY child is STARRING in......) You should be proud you have achieved what you have, and surely you know that there are many who would be THRILLED to have accomplished what you have.

It is a simple fact of life that some of us just don't get what we need or want from our parents. Guess it's just one of our personal trials in this life.

I'm also with Iflitifloat. *I'll* come see your show. There's many of us who live in the hinterlands, let us know where you'll be and maybe you'll find a fan waiting at the stagedoor some night!

[ponine24601]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 8:54pm

i'm sorry to hear that. i agree with everyone else. you should live your life for you. as long as you are happy, that is all that matters.

[insomniak]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 8:55pm

Which show are you in? I want to say I know who someone is in the playbill! I would like to see you.

[ponine24601]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 8:56pm

me too!

[mominator]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:02pm

NoDay, how sad for your parents. You are on your own and doing what you love to do, no parent could ever ask for anything more. Heck I'll go and cheer you on! PM me with a scheduel and I'll see what I can do!
Barbara

[kitkatgirl54]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:33pm

i understand what you mean. i am not exactly a type A personality and just because i don't want to jump around and scream all day means it's more difficult to be taken seriously as an actor to my friends and family. "you want to be an ACTOR? but you're so quiet! what are you going to do, read on stage?" but if you are doing what makes you happy, being in the chorus is very respectable and a very necessary job. tell your parents that you are happy with your life and that is what is important.

[NoDayButToday2]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:39pm

awwwwww thanks everyone this thread made my day at this moment i dont have a secure job in anything, i have a call back soon for a small role in a touring company of jesus christ superstar but also was offered the role of an ensemble member/eponine's understudy in les miserabes... all i can say about that is YIKES! i'll be like hyperventilating backstage if i ever had to do that understudying... hmmmm i am such a head case i really should get over this stage fright thing im in the theatre buisiness for goodness sake.. anyone have any tips? which role would you chose... ensemble in les mis or jesus christ superstar?

thanks again for all your support

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:46pm

Im sorry to hear that. Im sure your parents just want your talent to be out there. They are proud of you. Dont worry! Just do whatever YOU want, remind them that it is your life and when you are ready to take on the lead roles, you will do so. As I said, Im sure your parents are very proud of you. No need to fret.

PS: I personally think that the ensemble is the most vital and best part of a show. They carry the show through and without one, the show would fall apart. Updated On: 8/10/04 at 09:46 PM

[millie_dillmount]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:47pm

Ensemble in Les Mis w/ Eponine understudy. That way you can be in the ensemble, and give a try at a bigger role when they need you.


As for being in an ensemble, it is very important. Without them, who would dance with Millie in the speakeasy? Who would help Bobby in the gospel chorus in "Run Freedom Run"? Who would help welcome Tracy and her mother to the 60s? Who would tap dance with Peggy on 42nd Street? It might as well be you, someone who enjoys what she is doing. Go for it...not a lot of people can say they actually enjoy their job.

Updated On: 8/10/04 at 09:47 PM

[kitkatgirl54]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:48pm

hahaha .. run freedom run ... the pregnant woman with the leg brace .. what a great chorus member.

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 9:50pm

HAHAHA! You brought back hysterical memories, Kitkat! What a good show. Updated On: 8/10/04 at 09:50 PM

[zoran912]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 10:07pm

I would definitely go with Les Miserables. It's a great show. It's also amazing that you would be able to understudy Eponine. That girl has some great songs to sing.

[insomniak]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 10:07pm

The ensemble is way more fun to watch, they get to do all the dancing. Go for the Les Miz role, you can try something big but still be in the emsemble.

[secret-soul]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 10:15pm

I totally agree w/ kitkat's first post. If they don't want to share, then that is totally their lost. You just need to make sure that they know YOU'RE happy, no matter what they think, and that you're living up to your own expectations now. I'm happy for you, for what you've accomplished...and they need to be as well.
-laurs-

[EponineThenardier]

Posted: 8/10/04 at 10:26pm

That makes two of us chrous girls!! Yay, go us!

[BlueWizard]

Posted: 8/11/04 at 12:12am

Eponine is a dream role for a lot of people out there! I'm so happy to hear they've offered you the understudy for it.

And my heart goes out to you. Ensemble is the heart of a good musical. Don't listen to your parents, they know nothing in this matter. You're employed, you're doing what you love, and you're happy - that's a lot more than you can say about a lot of people! Congratulations, and best wishes to you!

[Musetta1957]

Posted: 8/11/04 at 4:16am

NoDayButToday2, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. (I can't say much more that's already been said.)

As for Les Miz, the two Eponine understudy tracks are pretty interesting in and of themselves -- one is the crazy rag woman in "Look Down," ("I know what you give, give 'em all the pox...") and the other does generally do AS much, but I saw a woman make so much out of her one line in "Turning" that suddenly I wanted to see a musical written all about her.

As much as I hate the cultish following Eponine has, it's a great role to watch a performer really sink her teeth into it.

And if you join the tour, you get to be part of Les Miz's Fayetteville, Arkansas debut!

[amasis]

Posted: 8/11/04 at 5:25am

I'd go with Les Miz, as well. But whatever you end up doing, please let us know so we can come see you on tour. :)

And as for your parents, I can't say much more than what's already been said: you just have to live your life the way you think best, and hope they come around eventually. And even if they never do, just be proud that you're making your own decisions. It's very sad when parents or family members refuse to support you unless it's on their own terms, but it's their loss, in the end.

[eyeonbroadway]

Posted: 8/11/04 at 7:27am

As a parent myself, I can vouch for how difficult it is to "let go". Especially, when your offspring head down what you perceive to be an insecure path. I can understand, too, the parental "need" for wanting your child to be "all that they can be". It comes with the territory; parents think they know what is best for their kids and sincerely (usually) want them to be happy. That being said, though, parents are just people, too, with their own baggage, unattained dreams, and frustrations. At some point you need to smile, thank them for their advice and their love, and plot your own course. It's time for your own dreams and ambitions and no one knows what makes you tick better than you do. Challenge yourself, though, within your own dreams and ambitions. Sounds like you have God-given talents so grow in how you share them! Good luck!!