Friends quotes

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:00am

inspired by the quote threads going around:


Ross and Rachel trying to decide on a name for their baby:
Rachel: "How about Rain?"
Ross: "Rain!?!? 'Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln and my dress is made out of wheat!"
*pause*
Phoebe: "I KNOW HER!!!"



there are so many. lets hear some of your favorites!

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 12:00 AM

[JLSatUD]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:05am

Chandler: "Come on -- Ross? Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and he bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?"
Rachel: "What did you just say?"
Chandler: "Crystal duck."

or the famous Ross & Rachel scene ...

You're over me? When were you ... under me? Updated On: 12/30/05 at 12:05 AM

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:06am

Rachel: Emma said her first word!
Ross: Oh my god! What did she say?!
Rachel: She said GLEBA!
[Ross is silent for a moment]
Ross: Gleba? Rachel, that isn't a word.
Rachel: Yes, it is!
Ross: Use it in a sentence.
Rachel: Uh...okay, "Emma just said Gleba."


*After arguing for a bit over the validity of the word*

[Rachel is holding a dictionary]
Rachel: AHA! Gleba: the soft, spongy spores of a fungus.
[Ross has a moment of disbelief, then relief]
Ross: She's going to be a scientist!


it's my FAVORITE scene.


Some more...

The whole group is silent over Monica's supposed engagement to that one fighter rich guy. All of sudden:

Rachel: OHABUAHOJHDFSLGKJ!
[Everyone sort of stares...]
Rachel: Oh...I was...imagining I caught..the money..bouquet.


Phoebe's Christmas song...

blablablablabla
And please tell Chandler!
Have a happy ..handler!




Oh. My. GAWD.

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 12:06 AM

[Beergoggles]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:06am

Rachel and monica are fighting

Phoebe: Stop it, stop it, STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!

cracks me up everytime

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:09am

mike: "i want a baby"
phoebe: "we could have a whole bunch of kids and teach them to sing! we could be like the vontrapp family! only without the nazis. only thats kinda dull"



monica: "i wanna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate chip cookies!"
chandler: "our kids are gonna be fat, arent they?"



at new years:
ross: "im gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!" *blows noise maker*
chandler: "but your divorce isnt even final yet"
ross: "just the 1 divorce in '99!!" *blows noisemaker*
phoebe: my resolution is to pilot a commercial jet"
chandler: "thats great. now all you need to do is find a jetload of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths!"





phoebe and ross in the cab to find rachel at the airport
phoebe: "oh, tollbooth"
ross: "what?"
phoebe: "TOLLBOOTH! there are quarters in there" *throws them at window and they hit the glass and bounce everywhere*
ross and phoebe: "AHH!"
phoebe: "damn, that windows clean"

that line always cracks me up.

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 12:09 AM

[liotte]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:18am

Chandler: Oh, yeah, I'm a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last... twelve hundred times.

Joey: So, you're playing a little Playstation, huh? That's whack. Playstation is whack. 'Sup with the whack Playstation, 'sup? Huh? Come on, am I nineteen or what?
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely nineteen.

Joey: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Chandler: Yeah, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in!

Chandler: All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.

Phoebe: Oh, Grandma is a person that everyone likes, / She bought you a toy train and a bright shiny bike, / But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, / The last time you saw her she looked a lot thinner. Now your parents told you she moved to Peru, / but the truth is she died and someday you will too.

Phoebe: I'm a positive person. You are like santa claus on prozac at disneyland getting laid!

Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:21am

hahaha, i love the phoebe song, liotte!

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:22am

Liotte, you forgot the "Lalala's" at the end of Phoebe's song!


I like her "Cow in the meadow goes moo" too.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:25am

"oh the cow in the meadow goes moo / oh the cow in the meadow goes moo / then the farmer hits him on the head and chops him up and thats how we get hambugers"

"jingle bitch screwed me over / go to hell jingle whore / go to hell, go to hell, go to he-ee-eel!!"

"new york city has no power / and the milk is getting sour / but to me it is not scary / cause i stay away from dairy."

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:26am

continuation of the Ross&Rachel baby-naming fiasco:

Ross: How about Ruth?
Rachel: Ruth!??! Hi, am I giving birth to an 89-yr old??!

Pilot episode:
(group mutters about Carol...)
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian...
Group: *stares at him*
Chandler: ..::looks up:: Did I say that out loud??

Joey's Man Purse episode:
Rachel: Yeah it's uhh..it's very..unisex!
Joey: Nonono, maybe YOU need sex, I had sex a coupla nights ago.
Rachel: Nonono, U-N-I-sex.
Joey: Well..ain't gonna say no to that! *pets her arm*

Game Show episode:
Ross: Monica and I had a grandmother. You all went to her funeral. NAME THAT GRANDMOTHER!!
Joey: Uhhh....Nana?
Chandler: She has a name!
Joey: Aaahh uhhhh...ALTHEA!!
Chandler: ALTHEA?!?! WHADDYA DOING?!!?
Joey: I took a shot!
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?!?
Ross: Althea is correct.
Chandler: NICE SHOOTING!

ok I'll stop for now.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:27am

rachel: "i guess women arent that great either"
ross: "try telling my wife that"

after rachel tells the story about her kissing her sorority sister in college
ross: "well, thats 2 of my wives"

[sadiem100]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:28am

No Phoebe's best song is Smelly Cat!!! OMG makes me almost pee in my pants every time...

SMELLY CAT SMELLY CAT
WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU?
SMELLY CAT SMELLY CAT
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:32am

lol, i cant stop posting (oh well, gets me closer to being a legend)


chandler in ericas hospital room while monicas in the bathroom:
chandler: "so, got any plans for the summer?"
erica: "i dont know, maybe church camp."
chandler: "better not mention this..... hey, have you ever wondered what hurts more, having a baby or getting kicked in the nuts? you see we'll never know b/c nobody can experience both. who knows, maybe theres something more painful than both of those things.......... like THIS."

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 12:32 AM

[liotte]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:32am

I don't want to quote the entire episode, but TOW the embryos (apartment bet) is my favorite episode and the whole game show aspect is hysterical.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:35am

that one is my favourite episode ever.

CHANANDLER BONG!!
(that's miss chanandler bong...)

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:35am

haha, i love that one liotte. i love how they know every fact about each other except what chandler does for a living.


from the one when phoebe calls up the suicidal guy
phoebe: "earl, just talk to me. why do you want to kill yourself?"
earl: "b/c ive been stuck in this boring, dead end job for 10 years now and nobody even knows i exist!"
phoebe: "......chandler??!"

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:38am

I love the one where Ross is checking out Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and Rachel and Phoebe see Monica and Chandler fooling around. Them freaking out is HILARIOUS. Then them trying to distract Ross is even FUNNIER.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:42am

phoebe: "oh, OH! chandler and monica! CHANDLER AND MONICA! OH, MY EYES, MY EYES!!!!"

[Aigoo]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:46am

Chandler: You tried to save a sandwich from a bullet?
Joey: I know this doesn't make much sense...
Chandler: MUCH sense?

Chandler: I got her machine.
Joey: Her answering machine?
Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.

Will: God, we were lame back then. Remember how into dinosaurs we were?
[to Ross]
Will: So what do you do now?


Rachel: [walking out of the bathroom] Mon, I'm gonna to check my messages.
Chandler: And you thought of that in there?
Monica: Well, nature called and she wanted to see who else did.

[to Ross]
Chandler: You know if your not careful, you could not get married at all this year.

Joey: The vicar won't be home for hours.
Rachel: [shocked] Joey, where'd you learn that word?


[Joey walks into the Central Perk coffee shop]
Joey: Hey Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler.
[Joey looks disturbed]
Gunther: [motioning to Chandler] Um, one of you is over there.

[Dre2387]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:49am

i love the episode where Joey is on the game show and he is like: Paper, snow, a ghost!

also, i find it hilarious when Phoebe's father comes round and he says that he use to sing her a song at night and it was the smelly cat tune. that was funny.

[TheBoyfromChi]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:50am

My favorite Phoebe song:
Sometimes men love women
And sometimes men love men
And then there are bisexuals
But some people say they're just kidding themselves

And my favorite quote ever:
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?

Ahh Friends...thank god for syndication and dvd box sets

[Alix7272]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:03am

This thread makes me happy. I'm figuring out my yearbook page this week, and I'm trying to figure out which Friends quote to use. I don't want it to be a classic that everyone knows. I was thinking of:

Chandler: I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.) (- not so unknown, or at least it's from a classic episode)

Joey: Well, these really are the days of our lives.

Phoebe: Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say. It could say "Ross Geller, Good at Marriage!" Y'know? Mine's gonna say "Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.

Joey [after he found his hand twin]: "alright if none of you believe that this is a good idea, then none of you can live in my giant hand-shaped mansion... except you Pheobes you can live in the thumb."

But I'd like to find a better one. I'm not really sure what I want it to say.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:23am

Great thread!

Chandler's "short story" that is really the "list":

"it was summer. And it was hot. Rachel was there. A big grey house. Oh look, cried Ned...and then the kingdom was his forever the end."

Something like...Ross: "You know Monica I went through the same situation w/ Carol and you know what I did?"
Monica: "What?"
Ross: "I..got...dressed."

Joey: "Look at me, I'm Chandler. Could I BE wearing any more clothes?"

Chandler: "I don't talk like that, that is so NOT true. That is so NOT, that's so--oh shut up."

Ross: "Your money's mine Green."
Rachel: "Your fly is open Gellar."

Chandler: "Gum would be perfection."

Chandler: "All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole."

Chandler: " Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass!"

Rachel: Guess what, GUESS WHAT?
Chandler: The fifth dentist finally caved and now they ALL recommend Trident?

Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but,
[points to Ross]
Monica: married a lesbian,
[points to Rachel]
Monica: left a man at the altar,
[points to Phoebe]
Monica: fell in love with a gay ice dancer,
[points to Joey]
Monica: threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire,
[points to the box Chandler's in]
Monica: live in a box!

Joey: "Heads" should be ducks, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday parties?

Phoebe: No, Mr. Heckels, we're not making any noise.
Mr. Heckles: You're disturbing my oboe practice.
Phoebe: You don't even play the oboe.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe.
Phoebe: Well, then I'll have to ask you to keep it down

And as much as I adore the first 2 seasons, this has got to be my fav Friends quote ever, I will watch this more than once...

Monica: "And Dad, you know that mailman you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys. Ross did!"
Ross: "Yeah, well hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing. Monica did!"
Monica: "Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year!"
Ross: "Monica and Chandler are living together!"
Monica: "Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced... again!"
Phoebe: "I love Jacques Cousteau!
Rachel: "I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!"
Joey: "I wanna go!"
Mrs. Geller: "That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds."

[Alix7272]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:32am

O, I like Chandler's story.

[YankeesFan175]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:41am

the pilot in central perk
Ross: i just want to be married again."
[Rachel walks in wearing wedding dress]
*pause*
Chandler: "and I just want a million dollars!" *stretches hand toward door*