"2012" - Mind and ass-numbingly awful

[JohnBoy2]

"2012" - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#1

Posted: 11/13/09 at 3:47pm

If you've ever seen any made-for-television (mostly SyFy Channel) disaster film, you've see it. Although, unlike most of those tv films, this does have respectable special effects. There's not an interesting character. Not a plausible second. It's too long, but at least an hour! Your mind and your ass will go numb.

[TheatreFan4]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#2

Posted: 11/13/09 at 3:53pm

I want to see it for the CGI orgasm only.

[roquat]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#2

Posted: 11/13/09 at 3:59pm

I could tell that from the trailer. I really don't care to see the CGI destruction of the world. My take has always been that if the world actually does end on December 21, 2012, it would at least save us from the indignity of a Sarah Palin presidency...

I ask in all honesty/What would life be?/Without a song and a dance, what are we?/So I say "Thank you for the music/For giving it to me."

[Q]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#3

Posted: 11/13/09 at 5:57pm

It was complete nonsense, but not unexpected. I think the only real disappointment is that you have already seen at least the heart of each of the major CGI set-peices in the trailer. You get to linger over them a bit longer (sometimes a bit longer than longer,) but that's about it. The 'story' and script made THE DAY AFTER seem . . . well, 'considered'.

I think they'll have a boffo opening, but I can't see it having much staying power - especially once it gets around that there are virtually no surprises after the trailer.

[Magdalene]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#4

Posted: 11/13/09 at 6:22pm

The special effect will draw them in---such as myself. I know the plot is thin (to be kind) but I will watch Oliver Platt in anything!

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

[Mr Roxy]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#5

Posted: 11/13/09 at 6:45pm

You were expecting Wuthering Heights maybe?

The NY reviews were the pits. This is a Netflix movie.

Poster Emeritus

[Magdalene]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#6

Posted: 11/13/09 at 6:50pm

All the reviews I've read say the movie stinks, but I like to see effects movies like this on the big screen (not my 19 inch! )

"NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"

[JohnBoy2]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#7

Posted: 11/13/09 at 10:11pm

I don't read reviews anymore, so I had no idea what they were saying (not that it would have mattered). I went to the first showing, this morning. I wasn't expecting Wuthering Heights, but I was hoping for something a bit less cliched than every single ScyFy Channel film. Something a bit more serious, and engrossing. Something different. They didn't even try.

[TimesSquareRegular]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#8

Posted: 11/13/09 at 10:31pm

Yes, it's awful ..... and the special effects are indeed terrific. Surprisingly, I wasn't really bored at all. This is probably the best bad movie since Showgirls.

SPOILER - well, not really. I mean, if they are talking about building arks, and there is a character named Noah ...... think he'll survive?????

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[CSonBroadway]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#9

Posted: 11/14/09 at 1:12pm

What happens in the end?

I'm a professional. Whenever something goes wrong on stage, I know how to handle it so no one ever remembers. I flash my %#$&. "Jayne just sat there while Gina flailed around the stage like an idiot."

[Mr Roxy]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#10

Posted: 11/14/09 at 1:50pm

The end of civilation as we know it - A Wildhorn show wins critical acclaim, is a hit & sweeps the Tonys.

Poster Emeritus

Updated On: 11/14/09 at 01:50 PM

[Wildcard]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#11

Posted: 11/14/09 at 3:26pm

You don't come in to a movie like this with high expectations. I enjoyed it for what it is and would see it again just to see the special effects. I knew the events were impossible (come on, an earthquake literally chasing them in the car?!) I thought it was fun.

[JohnBoy2]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#12

Posted: 11/14/09 at 3:30pm

My expectation was only that I would enjoy the film as much as his others. Not even close.

[Luscious]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#13

Posted: 11/14/09 at 4:08pm

I thought it was a lot of fun. It's intentionally campy. There are so many referecnes to other disater movies (like Earthquake and Towering Inferno) that I lost track. I think they were just having a good time with the material and wanted to make the disaster film of all disaster films. I reccommend it for what it is; silly, fun, mindless entertainment.

[rosscoe(au)]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#14

Posted: 11/14/09 at 9:59pm

Apart from the fact that it was dull as a bowl of sawdust, the big problem I had was, if you have seen the trailer, you have seen all the big set pieces. What was left, a story about nothing, with people who you wished would die.

Well I didn't want to get into it, but he's a Satanist. Every full moon he sacrifices 4 puppies to the Dark Lord and smears their blood on his paino. This should help you understand the score for Wicked a little bit more. Tazber's: Reply to Is Stephen Schwartz a Practicing Christian

[DayDreamer]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#15

Posted: 11/15/09 at 6:34am

I guess I'm in the minority, but I had the best time, it was exactly what I was expecting - nonsense destruction and special effects with a typical love/redemption story, and as is typical with Roland Emmerich, it was too long in the middle. Fun ride, and I will probably go again.

Celebrate Life

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch

[Q]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#16

Posted: 11/15/09 at 8:20am

DD - you're not alone. Early voting on Boxofficemojo shows this breakdown :
As: 54.3%
Bs: 21.8%
Cs: 8.3%
Ds: 3.5%
Fs: 12.1%

And Ebert gave it 3 of 4 stars.

[South Fl Marc]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#17

Posted: 11/15/09 at 9:21am

I had no plans on seeing it and now won't even bother watching 5 minutes of it when it shows on TV.
I find snuff films disgusting and basically that's all this really is, just on really big scale. The audience is there to watch people die - how entertaining!

[Jordan Catalano]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#18

Posted: 11/15/09 at 10:18am

I enjoyed it for what it was but yes, it was way too long. *spoiler* The entire last 45 minutes of him fixing the gate should have just been cut. The movie should have ended with them finally getting to the ark, cut to a few months later them going outside for the first time, BAM. Done.

[Bettyboy72]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#19

Posted: 11/15/09 at 11:49am

Oh, let me share with you a simple movie going equation that has saved me hours and dollars:

AMANDA PEET=DONT SEE

Try it, it really works. :)

"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello

[danmag]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#20

Posted: 11/15/09 at 6:54pm

I can't believe I just spent two and a half hours sitting thru this piece of sh*t.

"This show had the WORST magnets on Broadway!"

[DayDreamer]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#21

Posted: 11/15/09 at 7:26pm

My two issues (other than length) are:

The black president thing is no longer a novelty. If they want to seem edgy, they need to start putting women and folks of other ethnicities - latin, asian, native american.

Roland Emmerich is gay, shows a great deal of diversity in the casting of this movie, why in the world are there no gay people in the movie? Not even for comic relief like Harvey in Independence Day.

South Fl Marc: I too hate snuff films, but for some reason, for me, movies of this scale are not about watching people die, but more about the big spectacle and utter sillyness of it all.

Celebrate Life

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch

[JohnBoy2]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#22

Posted: 11/15/09 at 9:41pm

I can't believe I just spent two and a half hours sitting thru this piece of sh*t.

You were warned!

[Q]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#23

Posted: 11/16/09 at 1:46am

Weekend estimate - 225 million worldwide.

[TheatreFan4]

re: '2012' - Mind and ass-numbingly awful#25

Posted: 11/16/09 at 9:07pm

I can't believe I just spent two and a half hours sitting thru this piece of sh*t.

It was really 2.5 hours? I don't want to see it anymore. Thanks Dan.