Are you rape cultured?- Page 2

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:24pm

Someone posted a similar thing as you on my FB. I think rape, incest abuse, etc, etc, are all terrible things, and they have affected my family and myself directly, so I feel I have some "right" to take a stance on it. But the very term rape culture is up there with the way "privilege" is tossed around as a term in driving me away from all of these blogs. I don't even think most of the people who use the term have any idea what they mean by the term, they just use it cuz it sounds sorta trendy and also sorta intellectual as well as of course, completely pejorative. Or as Namo said, it's triggering language.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:25pm

I'd really like to hear from Aaron Bady.

[tazber]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:26pm

Unless, of course, she was brainwashed by her mother. I suppose it's possible there are a bunch of grown women running around out there just throwing out sexual assault accusations because their mothers brainwashed them. You never know....

As it so happens this sort of thing occurs all the time. Did you even bother to read the other thread? A major case of children being brainwashed to hurl absurd accusations was referenced on page one.

I don't dislike you Liza, but you are coming off as ill-informed, quick to judge, and worst of all belligerently narrow minded.

It's like you have absolute proof that what Dylan alleges is 100% true.

If so, you should probably alert the authorities asap instead of appointing yourself judge, jury, and executioner on an internet message board.

And, as with all posts I make on this topic I will reiterate that I'm not saying she's lying. Nor am I saying she's being honest.

I'm saying that neither I, nor you, nor anyone here should be stating definitively who is or is not guilty.

Updated On: 2/4/14 at 07:26 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:34pm

But Aaron Bady said that means you've been rape cultured.

WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND COME ON HERE AND EXPLAIN WHAT AARON BADY MEANS BY "RAPE CULTURED"?

Oh, also, I owe Aaron Bady an amends. I grossly underreported the number of Tweets he has made. There are over 49,500 tweets. Obviously I need to own the fact that coming from a place of male privilege, I invisibilized over 4000 tweets. I am guilty of tweet genocide.

[Kad]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:39pm

This whole cluster**** of "a court of public opinion" pretty much illuminates everything wrong with... well, the idea of "the court of public opinion."

I have a very good friend on Facebook, who's progressively liberal and consistently fair, being accused of misogyny, of being a rape sympathizer, of being intolerant, etc- simply for saying he does not believe he can, personally, answer "Did Allen molest Dylan Farrow?" based on the evidence at the public's disposal.

There is a vociferous camp that believes the accuser in these scenarios is always right. And they see a dissenting opinion- even if it is "I don't know"- as an attack on themselves, all women, and symbolic of the patriarchy that enables a rape culture.

It's extremist, hypocritical, often shockingly sexist, and ultimately hurts the feminist movement.

Updated On: 2/4/14 at 07:39 PM

[Liza's Headband]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:52pm

Namo, I only read that one article. I have not read any other pieces by this writer and do not even go on Twitter. You're better off reaching out to him yourself.

Taz, I'm not really "ill-informed." I am informed of all the facts surrounding this case. I followed it closely when it all played out. As I stated earlier, I'm not TEAM FARROW (as Namo likes to suggest). Mia Farrow is bat**** crazy. But I have no reason to believe her daughter is lying, just as I have no reason to believe Allen is lying.

While Namo would like to obsess over the writer's proclamation that he believes Allen did it, that is not the reason I posted it because I'm not on a personal mission to know whether he did or didn't. For me, it's more about his viewpoint on the general backlash this self-labeled victim is facing because she dares to come out years later and voice what she believes to be true. Beyond that, I think it speaks more poignantly to the underlying and quite subtle misogyny displayed by a healthy number of BWW posters in the other thread. I am not the first to notice this ongoing tone and pattern as another longtime poster recently did the same. I'll have to find the thread where it was discussed and, of course, promptly dismissed by the very same people who propagate it.

If you went back to the original thread and actually read through the exchange, I explained why I shared it and even pointed out the section. But you're welcome to think I'm narrow minded. That's fine.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 7:57pm

I guess you can select portions of a specious argument and declare them "poignant" and it doesn't really matter, just like Bady says he can say he strongly believes Allen is guilty and if you say you don't have enough information to take everything Dylan Farrow wrote as the unvarnished truth, you are a rapist-enabler, because it doesn't mean anything. But of course it means A LOT. And calling me a stalker has meaning, too.

But, you know, cherry pick your poignancy, I guess.

[Liza's Headband]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:00pm

I don't disagree, Namo. He seems very defensive and the fact that he so quickly tweeted about your thread actually makes him the stalker. But his actions on twitter don't effect me or change how I feel about certain points made in a blog post he wrote about the Farrow/Allen situation.... I could care less that he thinks you are a stalker.

And no, I didn't share it with him because I don't know him. Maybe he has one of those Google Alert things set up. Wouldn't put it past him.

[Kad]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:03pm

LH:

Do you believe that in saying, in response to Dylan Farrow's open letter, "I don't know if her allegations are actually true, based on the evidence at our disposal," one is a) perpetuating a culture that is permissive of rape, b) either a misogynist or perpetuating misogyny, and c) shaming Farrow for speaking forward?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:03pm

So there's a pretty good chance that he's what in fiction we might call an "unreliable narrator" or in non-fiction a lazy thinker, perhaps.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:40pm

My favorite unreliable narrator is Eva Khatchadourian, from Lionel Shriver's seminal work, "We Need to Talk About Kevin."

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:43pm

I had not seen Kad's question before and maybe I am recalling the '80s witch hunts too clearly, but I would answer "no" to the questions after that statement.

I should read Shriver's book, I love seminal work. DAMMIT. Rape culture again.

Updated On: 2/4/14 at 08:43 PM

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:46pm

I'd say "see what I did there?" but I hate that expression. You should definitely read it. Shriver is my favorite author. Her work really speaks to me.

[Kad]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:51pm

"I had not seen Kad's question before and maybe I am recall the '80s witch hunts too clearly, but I would answer "no" to the questions after that statement. "

Oh, it was directed at Liza's Headband. I already knew your stance.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 8:54pm

I couldn't help but chime in. I saw that Mia tweeted that Mia's open letter contained "her truth." Which is what I said.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 2/4/14 at 9:07pm

The concept of "rape culture" demeans each individual experience of rape and abuse.

Mr. Bady should be ashamed of himself. Lumping so many women together--and young boys too!--with a cookie-cutter approach is dehumanizing.

These are individuals, Mr. Bady, not members of a "culture" or "victims" of a culture. The very way you ideate them and label is just a smug, pseudo-intellectual attempt to erase their experiences while pretending to yourself that you're somehow above it all when you're the worst offender of them all.

If you're continuing to read this thread, you ought to be ashamed. Stop generalizing about things you know nothing about.

Updated On: 2/5/14 at 09:07 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 12:29am

He probably doesn't know what he means by "rape culture." He doesn't seem to know what "ironically" means, either. Closing in on that 50,000th Tweet:

Aaron Bady

So, we finally saw "12 Years a Slave"; the last movie we saw was Blue Jasmine, ironically.

Updated On: 2/5/14 at 12:29 AM

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 12:42am

The writer probably has a Google Alert set for his name. Any time his name is published somewhere on the web, he would get a notification. BroadwayWorld posts pop up right away.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 1:01am

Let's Beetlejuice this ish:

Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady
Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady
Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady
Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady
Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady
Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady
Aaron Bady Aaron Bady Aaron Bady

Come see us! We like to think here!

Updated On: 2/5/14 at 01:01 AM

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 3:17am

"So, we finally saw "12 Years a Slave"; the last movie we saw was Blue Jasmine, ironically."

And here we all thought Alanis had a shaky grasp of irony.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 10:37am

Isn't that coincidental, dontchya think?

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 10:39am

It's like ray-ee-ayyyyyyyy-nnnnnn on your wedding day!
It's a free ri-hi-----de when you already paid...

Okay I'll stop now...

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 10:42am

We've had singing, we've had stories, we've had thoughts and analysis.

I do not know why Aaron Bady hasn't come here yet.

[Kad]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 10:54am

Does he mean that it is ironic that he saw it, or that he went and saw it ironically?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/5/14 at 11:00am

I never thought of that. Maybe he saw it ironically which gives him a sort of detachment from enabling rape culture?