BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
The Grovers Corners Yenta
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/3/04
#1BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 2:31pmDid you hear about the new Passover convience store? It's called 7-Unleaven.
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
#2re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 2:40pm
A polar bear walked into a bar and took a seat. The bartender asked him what he wanted. The polar bear responded "I'll have a...beer." The bartender asked him, "Why the pause?"
"Always had 'em," said the polar bear holding his arms up in the air.
#2re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 2:53pm
Where does Elphaba go to...
No, just kidding. By the way, Yenta, I love that joke. I've never heard it before.
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
The Grovers Corners Yenta
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/3/04
#3re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 3:46pmThanks Schmerg........but I can't take credit for it. I saw it on an e-card and almost peed in my pants.
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
#4re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 4:15pm
What do you call a man in a hole?
Doug
What do you call a man beside a hole?
Douglas
#5re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 4:18pm
What do you call a man beside a hole sitting near a window?
Douglas Sills.
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
Updated On: 2/3/09 at 04:18 PM
#6re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 7:17pm
...
...
...
OOO!!! MWAHA! He DUG LESS than DUG!!!!!
Hysterical.
SweetQintheLights
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/12/05
#7re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 8:19pm
It's truly sad how funny I find these jokes.
"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule
"I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178
Updated On: 2/3/09 at 08:19 PM
#8re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 8:35pm
If you are Russian when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out... what are you while you are IN the bathroom?
European.
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than f**ckin' perfect!
#9re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 8:35pm
Two drums and a cymbal fell of a cliff.
(ba dum chhh)
"Who else would teach my son how to catch a football ball?"
- Dr. Niles Crane
ShbrtAlley44
Broadway Legend Joined: 8/1/03
#10re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 8:38pm
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was tied to the first monkey.
morosco
Broadway Legend Joined: 7/10/04
#11re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 8:41pmA grasshopper walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a Cocktail named after you." The grasshopper says, "Why would anyone want to name a cocktail Steve?"
xbri0432x
Understudy Joined: 12/13/08
#12re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 9:12pm
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 8 9!(I personally hate that joke)
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
Harvey Dent was Two-Faced (get it?)
"My two best friends are Liza Minelli and a tomato." - Penelope (SNL)
#13re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 9:14pm
Why should you never shower with Pokemon?
Because they peek-at-chu!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNNNNG.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye deer! (No idea... yeah...)
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, it won't come anyway.
In my pants, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun! --Marius Pantsmercy
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#14re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 9:21pm
What was Smokey the Bears middle name?
The
Poster Emeritus
xbri0432x
Understudy Joined: 12/13/08
#15re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 9:53pm
What do you call a robot that composes musicals? Android Lloyd Webber.
wow that one is kinda stupid...
"My two best friends are Liza Minelli and a tomato." - Penelope (SNL)
#16re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 9:55pm
Two drums and a cymbal fell of a cliff.
(ba dum chhh)
this is my favorite.
#19re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/3/09 at 11:22pm
Luck for you all, I looked up a bunch of these last week.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A Fsh.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
nice belt
Want to hear a farmer joke? It's kinda corny.
A fungi walks into a bar. The bartender and all the other customers tell him to leave. "Why?" he asks. "I'm a fun guy!"
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I?
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
#19re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 2:57am
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen
What do you call a man with no legs? Neil
Why can't the Beatles go to the bathroom? Because there's no John.
Why can't Italians barbeque? Because the spaghetti falls through the grill.
How do you make an Italian stop talking? Cut off their hands.
Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should all be bigger than life.- Bette Davis
#20re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 7:18am
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was tied to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the three?
Because he thought it was a game.
Why did the tree fall over?
Because it thought it was a monkey!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye deer! (No idea... yeah...)
What do you call a dead deer with no eyes?
Still no idea/eye-deer! 
What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff!
Broadway Legend Joined: 12/31/69
#21re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 10:39amDo you now why elephants wear green sneakers? So they can sneak around in the grass!
#23re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 5:29pm
Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "hot enough for ya?". The Second muffin screams "AAAAAHHHHH! a talking muffin"!
what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said
'I want to be a movie star.'
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right
credentials.
The agent asked, 'What's your name?'
The guy said, 'My name is Penis van Lesbian.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name.'
'I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.'
The agent said, 'Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years.... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.'
'So be it! I guess we will not do business together' the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
'Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice..
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
"I'm an American, Damnit!!! And if it's three things I don't believe in, it's quitting and math."
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#24re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 5:45pm
If you have $ 10 in one pants pocket & $ 20 in the other, what do you have?
Someone elses pants.
Poster Emeritus
Radiana
Broadway Star Joined: 10/28/08
#25re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 6:05pm
Do you have holes in your underware?
No!
Then how do you get your legs through?
I may not know a lot about theater but I know that I love it.
Mr Roxy
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/17/03
#26re: BAD JOKE THREAD ( inspired by Boobs}
Posted: 2/4/09 at 6:08pm
Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Poster Emeritus
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