Mom, you strike me as being very Pawk like. If your heart is set on Pitre, though...
Nina, do you mind being Bebe Neuwirth playing you? Is that kosher? (Personally I'd like Bebe playing me, but we can't have everything we want in life, I guess.)
And Nina is now our official casting director. You all are welcome to submit headshots and resumes in appropriate fashion... she's the go-to girl.
"You! You are the worst thing to happen to musical theatre since Andrew Lloyd Webber! And you, well, I just plain don't like you."
~Stewart Gilligan Griffin