"Bush's Barberini Faun" by Maureen Dowd

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:02pm

I think this was posted on the Gannon thread, but you know how much I love Maureen so I figure it should have its own thread. Funny how a well-respected, Pulitzer Prize winning news veteran is denied a press pass by Bush, but a guy with an alias and a double life is allowed right in...

BUSH'S BARBERINI FAUN

"I am very impressed with James Guckert, aka Jeff Gannon.
How often does an enterprising young man, heralded in press reports a both a reporter and a contributir to such sites as Hotmilitarystud.com, Workingboys.net, Militaryescorts.com, MilitaryescortsM4M.com, and Meetlocalmen.com, get to question the president of the United States?
Who knew that a hotmilitarystud wanting to meetlocalmen could so easily get to be face2face with the commander in chief?
It's hard to believe the White House could hit rock bottom on credibility again, but it has, in a bizzare maelstrom that plays like a dark comedy. How does it credential a man with a double life and a secret past?
"Jeff Gannon" was waved into the press room nearly every day for two years as the conversative correspondent for two political websites operated by a wealthy Texas Republican. Scott McClellan often called on the pseudoreporter for softball questions.
Howard Kurtz reported in the Washington Post yesterday that although Mr. Guckert had denied launching the provocatibe websites-one described him as "military, muscular, masculine, and discrete (sic)"-a web designer from California said "that he had designed a gay escort service for Gannon and had posted naked pictures of Gannon at the client's request."
And the Wilmington News-Journal in Delaware reported that Mr. Guckert was delinquent in $20,700 in personal income tax from 1991 to 1994.
I'm still mystified by this story. I was rejected for a White House press pass at the start of the Bush administration, but someone with an alias, a tax evasion problem, and Internet pictures where he posed like the "Barberini Faun" is credentialed to cover a White House that won a second term by mining homophobia and preaching family values?
At first when I tried to complain about not getting my pass renewed, even though I'd been covering presidents and first ladies since 1986, no one called me back. Finally, when Mr. McClellan replaced Ari Fleischer, he said he'd renew the pass-after a new Secret Service background check that would last several months.
In an era when security concerns are paramount, what kind of Secret Service background check did James Guckert get so he could saunter into the West Wing every day under an assumed name while he was doing full frontal advertising for stud services for $1,200 a weekend? He used a driver's license that said James Guckert to get into the White House, then, once inside, switched to his alter ego, asking questions as James Gannon.
Mr. McClellan shrugged this off to Editor & Publisher, oddly noting, "People use aliases all the time in life, from journalists to actors.
I know the FBI computers don't work, but this is ridiculous. After getting gobsmackedby the louche sagas of Mr. Guckert and Bernard Kerik, the White House vetters should consider adding someone with some blogging experience.
Does the Bush team love everything military so much that even a Militarystud website is a recommendation?
Or maybe Gannon/Guckert's willingness to shill free for the White House, even on gay issues, was endearing. One of his stories mocked John Kerry's "pro-homosexual platform" with the headline "Kerry Could Become First Gay President."
With the Bushies, if you're their friend, anything goes. If you're their critic, nothing goes. They're waging a jihad against journalists-buying them off so they'll promote administration programs, trying to put them in jail for doing their jobs, and replacing them with ringers.
At last month's press conference, Jeff Gannon asked Mr. Bush how he could work with Democrats "who seemed to have divorced themselves from reality." But Bush officials have divorced themselves from reality.
They've flipped TV's in the West Wing and Air Force One to Fox News. They paid conservative columnists handsomely to promote administration programs. Federal agencies distributed packaged "news" video releases with faux anchors so local news outlets would run them. As CNN reported, the Pentagon produces Web sites with "news" articles intended to improve opinion both abroad and at home, but you have to look hard for the disclaimer: "Sponsered by the US Department of Defense." The agencies spent a whopping $88 million spinning realit y in 2004, splurging on PR contracts.
Even the Nixon White House didn't do anything this creepy. It's worse tha hating the press. It's an attempt to reinvent it."

[PalJoey]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:13pm

This administration is the most morally bankrupt in the history of the Union.

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:19pm

The fact that Dowd knows what the "Barberini Faun" IS earns her MAJOR brownie points with me.

It's quite an astonishing masterpiece - by any standard!



<


Barberini Faun

Updated On: 2/17/05 at 04:19 PM

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:23pm

I see a Lifetime Movie of the Week in the making, "The Voice Silenced":

Ryan Philips as James Guckert, aka Jeff Gannon
Tommy Lee Jones as George Bush
Angela Bassett as Condi Rice Updated On: 2/17/05 at 04:23 PM

[MasterLcZ]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:26pm

Elaine Stritch as Helen Thomas

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:28pm

Debbie Reynolds as Barbara Boxer

[Gothampc]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:29pm

The fact that a supposed Pulitzer prize winning author writes "face2face" shows how low she will stoop to try to be popular and hip.

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:32pm

Gotham-thought you were into absurdism. They Bushes sure are. Well, the one's who know what "absurdism" is.

The casting sounds fabulous, especially Elaine as Helen Thomas. I loved it when Kattan used to do her on SNL.

The Barberini Faun is exquisite.

MAUREEN DOWD FOR PRESIDENT 2008!

[robbiej]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:34pm

Actually, I don't think she was trying to be hip. She was just using the jargon of internet sex hookups that gay men use. The fact that she knows THAT is totally hot.

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:36pm

Maureen is hot to start of with...But good observation.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:39pm

Goth, really. Certainly there has to be some point at which the Bush White House loses enough credibility that even YOU have to admit it. I am pretty sure I see some sweat beading up on Papa's forehead as he tries to keep his game face on, but really.

Just the press shenanigans ALONE should be enough to make even the biggest party-line Republicans say, okay, enough is enough. If they can't stand up to even the mildest scrutiny and are paying people off and letting gay (you know, the abomination in the eyes of the lord people) hustlers pretend to be journalists to make the Prez look better, certainly there comes a time when even you have to realize that it is all too much. What, exactly, are they afraid of us knowing that they have to resort to this?

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:41pm

Yeah, Papa's gonna fold soon...he wasn't even defending Alan Keyes the other day.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:45pm

I know. I love Papa so much, but he must know he can't keep interrupting and redirecting with Kerry references much longer. He's gone, done, over-with. Dan Rather? Yeah, I guess. Seemed to me like an honest mistake. But even going tit-for-tat, the Bush end of the Egregious Actions scale FAR outweighs the Democrat side. JUST the press stuff alone.

All that's left is the last of the Bush credibility circling the drain like Hershey's Syrup in Hitchcock's "Psycho" shower scene.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:45pm

"Certainly there has to be some point at which the Bush White House loses enough credibility that even YOU have to admit it."

No matter how much credibility he loses, it will never be as low as that perjuring, whore mongering, creep that preceded him.

[robbiej]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:46pm

That was Hershey's syrup????

I totally thought it was something else. Something Mr. Gannon was probably into, too!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:47pm

Yes, well, see, Goth, all we're working with now is YOUR guy and, um, you can't just keep interrupting the discussion and redirecting it to Clinton. You just can't. You've used it up. It's run out. You have to face the Bush facts now, and not change the subject when you find yourself unable to.

Updated On: 2/17/05 at 04:47 PM

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:49pm

Namo, couldn't agree more about everything.

DAN RATHER-misled by a fake memo.

BUSH-lied to start a war, which has cause 1,100 Americans and countless civilians their lives.

What's worse?

[Gothampc]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:50pm

"you can't just keep interrupting the discussion and redirecting it to Clinton. You just can't."

Why not? It's all the liberals ever do. You lost because everytime someone tried to figure out what you stood for, the discussion was redirected.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:50pm

Goth, Clinton may have been a "perjuring creep" but I believe Bush is the first US president to hire a P*SS WHORE.

[robbiej]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:51pm

And didn't he do coke???

I mean...not like I've never dabbled in the booger sugar, but REALLY!

The stones that are being cast!

[Jacques_Clouseau]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:53pm

Wait... can someone explain to me what makes the Faun sculpture homo-erotic? Is there another penis I'm missing?

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:54pm

mel, if you look back i never defended alan keyes, there's nothing to defend. i made fun of him before he even ran. just becuase i'm a republican doesn't mean i'll defend everyone who calls the gop home.

https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?boardname=off&thread=346700#347834

and namo, we made ken mehlman chairman of the rnc, why wouldn't we let gay hustlers play at journalism in the briefing room. he's someone's boy toy and if it's someone high up li'l jimmy will probably follow your aforementioned route into drugs, but with a far more tragic and abrupt ending and no book deals. which will trigger a voracious media feeding frenzy. or not.

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:54pm

Yes, he did coke. He was also an alcoholic. And his wife committed vehicular manslaughter.

[melissa errico fan]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:56pm

Papa, go back and read my post. I commented that you DIDN'T defend Alan Keyes.

[WindyCityActor]

Posted: 2/17/05 at 4:56pm

"Booger Sugar?" I've never hard that term before, I love it!

This obviously a parody....but then again...

http://benquirer.blogspot.com/2005/02/gay-pimp-exposed-as-white-house.html

Gay Pimp Exposed as White House Reporter
-
WASHINGTON - Yesterday, infamous gay pimp Jeff Gannon was exposed for his secret double life as a White House reporter. Known for his popular escort service websites, (HotMilitaryStud.com, MilitaryEscorts.com and HunkyManOfWar.com) many of Gannon's customers were shocked at this revelation.

"I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the news," said long-time HotMilitaryStud.com customer Everett Plemish, "He was the best gay pimp of them all. He had so much going for him. I don't know why he decided to throw it all away as a member of the White House Press Corps."

"He always had someone to fulfill my fantasy of the evening, whether it was 'Navy Seal Nathan', 'Private Peter O'Tool' or even 'Five-Star General Gary'," said Plemish, "On nights when all his Johns were servicing other customers, Jeff himself would even make a special trip just for me."

"He was a great pimp, but he was one of the best prostitutes I've ever had," he said, "Well, I had no idea how much of a wh*re he really was."

"Oh my god," said Plemish, "Just the thought that I licked the *** of someone who, at the time, was constantly kissing President Bush's *ss... It just makes me feel dirty all over. Promiscuous types like myself don't usually care, but for some reason I feel totally betrayed"

Working under a pseudonym, Gannon was infamous for his inquisitive, pointed questions at White House Press Briefings, such as "Why isn't Congress acting to defend marriage?" and "Isn't President Bush just the greatest?"