Can We Put People Back in the Closet? — Page 2

I am technically bisexual, so I suppose at the point in my life I am choosing to be gay. I know many men who have tried too hard to fight who they truly are for far too long. It is far fromm a choice for everyone.

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*slaps Jerby a high five*
Preach, it sistah!

in gay land, Harris, yes we is!
Sisters who can't help that we love one another but CHOOSE to make out!

lol is still confused

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There are African-Americans who have married outside their race and had that described as hurtful to the Black cause. There are Jewish writers, like Philip Roth, who have had their writings attacked as self-hating and as a betrayal of the Jewish community. I understand where those feelings come from, but I'm not in great sympathy with that way of thinking. It tends to deny the individuality of people who happen to be Black, Jewish, Gay, whatever, and to lay on a (probably unwelcome) burden of being instead a representative of their minority group (whether they want to be or not). I hesitate to use this term because it might be offensive--and I've already apparently been offensive enough--but it's always struck me as a kind of "ghetto mentality," and I mean that in the broadest sense. I will be extremely grateful when we've reached the point where that kind of defensiveness is superfluous.

I do think we're taking Swoopes' commentsout of context. She mentioned that she had loved her husband, but was now in love with a woman; I think her statement was to not disavow the relationship she had with her husband.

I'm still glad she's on our side and continues as a role model for kids.

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"I do think we're taking Swoopes' commentsout of context. She mentioned that she had loved her husband, but was now in love with a woman; I think her statement was to not disavow the relationship she had with her husband.

I'm still glad she's on our side and continues as a role model for kids."

I took her statement as basically saying she was 'choosing' not to ignore the feelings she realized she was having for her friend/eventual partner.

And I agree with you, Blue.

but no one is labeling her a bisexual except for all of you, not even her. she says she is a lesbian and that she was not born that way but chooses to be gay.

how can one interpret that any other way than how she said it?

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to my knowledge, she doesn't talk about her attraction to men in the interviews i've read. i could be wrong but i never am.

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i like that about you.

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to me it's not the label that matters and, no, acting on your desires (there's probably a better word) does not make you one way or another. i was gay for a long, long, long time before i became sexual.

my point here, with this "celebrity" is that a comment that she was not born gay but chooses to be gay is, in my opinion, detrimental.

i'm not sure where bisexuality enters in, since she never claimed to be bi.

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WHO CARES?????????

I'm with kjklo. If we really are, as Larry Kramer claims, better, then how can we not allow for all different ways in which we come to our truth? I'm not sure why we have to label her bisexual when she clearly is labeling herself as a lesbian...and perhaps her point is that she is making the choice to label herself that for political reasons. Yes...she may be attracted to men (or not), but she chooses to label herself as a lesbian for other reasons than just whom she beds...or whom she falls in love with. Homosexuality is who you are drawn to sexually/emotionally. Gay/Lesbian is something else. It comes with a lot of other baggage, political, social AND sexual.

Do I believe that for some people, being gay in a choice? Yes. And I don't have a problem with that. Look at it this way: sexual/emotional attraction is innate...but choosing to live openly and to align yourself with an established minority is a choice...it may not feel like a choice for some of us, but it really is. And it's an empowering choice that should be respected.

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unfortunately, robbie, lots of people care and the anti-gay groups who are not as enlightened will latch on to this statement.

so this kind of coming out does not help the community, so i say go back in the closet until you've sorted things out.

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