Can We Put People Back in the Closet? — Page 4

DG... I saw it on tv. I don't remember if it was the news or an entertainment show, but that's where I saw her say she made the choice.

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LOGO is continously running a preview of an interview she did for an upcoming special premiere on LOGO this weekend. it is in that promo where she makes the statement.


i believe it is in this upcoming special - the out 100 (see link)

the out 100

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Updated On: 12/7/05 at 12:34 PM

i agree that the declaration is a choice but i think that we're talking about what the "definition of is, is" kind of situation.

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I disagree, RobbO. Even if you accept being gay as a given, there is still a choice to be made whether or not to come out, which is especially important for someone in the public eye. I see a vast difference in the concepts of choosing to be gay and choosing to be out about it. And since the problem some seem to be having is the perception that she is saying she's choosing to be gay, I think it's an important distinction to make.

It is possible, DG. I just remember almost choking when I heard it.

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My insisting that Cheryl is bisexual is nothing more than trying to get at what is inherent--internal--beyond politics and society and stigma. And, the only reason I do that is because THAT is what explains these things as opposed to the ridiculous comments that the media makes about someone like Anne Heche and similar "people who flip flop their sexuality". I merely wish that people could stop thinking that sexuality is black or white. I wish they would realize that when someone dates men and then suddenly starts dating Ellen or another famous lesbian and then "goes back to men", that they aren't converting sexual orientations--they are acting on an inherent bisexuality. But so many people choose to ignore the idea of bisexuality. It's "she was straight one moment and then gay the next!" And that isn't true INHERENTLY. Either the straight part was a facade or she is bisexual and *choosing* to live as a lesbian.

Now, as far as all the "let's respect how people's personal experiences, etc"--well no ****. And, I've already stated that that is what I do. After YEARS of respecting closeted guys' assertion that they are straight, I get the importance that one respect a person's opinion of what and how things are.

Again--I would never tell Cheryl she is wrong. But, I am allowed to think what I think on the inherent matters--and it isn't a drawn out thought process in my head. It is a simple thought deep in the back of my mind that acknowledges a person's capacity for bisexuality, so that I don't go through all the SHOCK and OMG when someone tells me they are now into a different gender.

My first BF is married to a woman and they have 3 kids. When they started dating. ALL ALL ALL of his gay friends abandoned him except me. Why? "Oh, so you're gonna be STRAIGHT now?". And, all I ever thought was, "Oh. I guess he's bi. Cool." And we joke that he is a gay man who fell in love with a woman, but they both acknowledge that inherently there was bisexuality to allow him to fall for a woman.

Yes--labels are complicated. Yes--we should all label ourselves how we feel comfortable and how it works with the world we are traveling through. I label myself as gay even though inherently I am bisexual.

Thus, I get this.

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I actually do understand the frustration if what's being presented is the concept of choosing sexuality. However, like I said, in the print interviews I've read, that is not what she says at all. I haven't seen this advertising clip, but I do know that it's possible for a statement to be taken out of context and give an entirely different impression. If that is indeed what's happening here, then it's a disservice to her first of all, and secondly to those who are reacting negatively to it (however justifiably.)

dg, if you have the current advocate you'll see that out of three letters in the magazine regarding swoopes' coming out, two of them are criticisms of promoting her as an "out and proud" lesbian which is not what she is projecting.

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Updated On: 12/7/05 at 12:54 PM

justthefacts2, a male rabbinical student once told me that Judaism's position re homosexuality was "hate the sin but not the sinner."

Updated On: 12/7/05 at 12:56 PM

jerby, would you state that you are "choosing to be gay" or were you born bisexual?

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Let me clarify, robbO--I wish the people themselves would acknowledge bisexuality as well as the media who gets all giggly and mystified.

I was born bisexual. I choose to identify as gay as that is pretty much all date or sleep with. If that is all Swoopes is trying to say, then groovy.

And, DG, again, she said it was a choice IN the interview on TV.

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but maybe they are not bisexual so why would they acknowledge it? if that's your freak flag, then fly it and fly it proudly.

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