Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

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Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 7:14pm

From Susan Olsen's Facebook Page in support of Marriage Equality.

"I really can honestly say, 'My Dad was Gay.' I can also say that being gay killed him. Because it was so taboo, he could never make peace with himself. He never allowed himself to have a genuine love. He was forever taunted by his own disdain for the natural inclinations that he was BORN WITH. Bob was a family man. Had he been allowed to form a relationship with another man, he would have been the best husband ever and might still be alive. But Bob could not be at peace with this because the people surrounding him shoved their own judgement down his throat and, sadly, he bought into it. He thought he was wrong. He felt the shame that every hypocritical 'God is love' fundamentalist wanted him to feel.

"I am eternally grateful for having a golden rule placed before me as a child. I had a gay father! I knew he was gay when I was nine years old and had the wisdom of a child. I knew it was OK and none of my business. I knew with all certainty that this was a very good man. And so, any ideology that demonized such a good man would have to be evil itself. Robert Reed, unwittingly, showed me the true nature of religion. And this is why I steer clear of it to this day."

https://www.facebook.com/Fluffco

'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 8:18pm

Man, I love Susan.

"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 8:20pm

She turned me gay, too.

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 8:27pm

I think I get what she's trying to say, but the "being gay killed him" wording irks me a little...

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 8:28pm

She was there. She would know.

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 9:31pm

Eric, I am not sure how old you are but being a gay middle aged man in that era was a completely different experience then it is now today. Even a few years after Stonewall As a matter of fact even today there are people who I know who identify as Evangelical Christians who are going through the exact same thing Robert Reed went through. Being gay is killing them as well, both developmentally and spiritually as they cannot accept who or what they are and live in a very, very weird world of desire, denial and despair. They sneak off and have clandestine sex which they immediately deny.

Those Blocked: SueStorm. N2N Nate. Good riddence to stupid! Rad-Z, shill begone!

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 9:34pm

"She turned me gay, too."

Was that really a turn, or more of a slight veer?

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 9:37pm

And it was such a best kept secret back then. Florence Henderson knew he was gay right away. Growing up, I had absolutely NO idea that he was gay- not that it really matters. I just remember that he was so handsome and had such a nice voice and I loved how Mr. and Mrs. Brady were always flirting with each other.

I had read articles about him after he came out and I was sad that he didn't get to live the life he truly wanted. Can you imagine if all the tabloid shows and social media had been around then? He would have been hounded!

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 9:52pm

I thought colon cancer exacerbated by HIV killed him.

#10

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 10:06pm

'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-

#11

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 10:15pm

I remember that episode romantico! I loved Medical Center- Chad Everett- yum and my favorite tv dad was a guest- loved it!

#12

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/27/13 at 10:54pm

SNAFU, I really appreciate your answer, and, while I didn't experience that, I did gather some of that was what she meant. I guess the only reason I found the way it was quoted as something people "even now" could mis-read is the "Being Gay=Meant he got that Gay Disease=Killed Him" connection people still make. While, from what I assume, he was depressed and hid much of his life because he was gay, and that in some ways may have led to him contacting HIV, and being openly gay at the time was obviously a much different issue than it is now, many of those people tragically died of the disease too. I also think equating the fact that he was closeted and hid being gay which led to "risky" sex and so he died of HIV related causes is another conclusion people could jump to which I think again can make the quote give some people the wrong idea.

As usual, I'm not very eloquent in what I'm trying to say, but I hope that makes some sort of sense. Anyway, it's merely my opinion, I just think it was unfortunate wording on her choice given what happened--maybe the quote was originally longer, or it's simply how I read it. I certainly think a good many people tragically did and still do die from reasons of being ashamed about their sexuality. And obviously HIV, as well, was not treated as seriously as it should have been because it was not given weight due to people seeing it as a "gay problem." But I worry some would read it as saying "having gay sex killed him" which, while literally I suppose could be true, muddles several different, albeit interconnected, issues and can easily be read by many in a way to justify their own negative beliefs.

I'm not sure if that makes much sense. *waits for you-know-who's reply*

#13

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 6:21am

I guess she could have said he died from being in the closet. But reading her statement I think it was pretty clear what she meant.

#14

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 8:14am

I wasn't offended by the quote, and I completely got what she meant.

#15

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 1:56pm

I got what she meant, too, but I think it was poorly phrased. Robert Reed didn't die from being gay anymore than Emmett Till died from being black.

#16

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 6:25pm

Robert Reed in 1975 appeared in an episode of MEDICAL CENTER where he played a man having a sex change.I can't even imagine a TV series tackling the subject back then but it was very brave of Robert Reed to play such a part,especially (I'm assuming)he was still in the closet.

It was a great episode and considered a very brave move for the actor. I remember it well.

FWIW, Reed was on the faculty at UCLA when I started grad school there. I didn't know him well, but he was obviously beloved while he lived and greatly grieved when he died. (And, yes, by then everyone knew he was gay.)

#17

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 6:31pm

There's nothing wrong with Eric's eloquence and he has proven again and again that he understands the cultural contexts of the 1970s and 80s.

I believe his point was not to condemn Susan Olsen, but just to caution all of us that language such as "Being gay killed him" comes perilously close to the claims of Westboro Baptist and the like. OF COURSE that is NOT what Olsen intended. Eric is just reminding us how such rhetoric may be misused.

Nobody ever says a woman who dies in childbirth was "killed by heterosexuality". Nobody even says it of heterosexuals who die from syphilis or any other STD.

Updated On: 3/28/13 at 06:31 PM

#18

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 6:45pm

"*waits for you-know-who's reply*"

I assume you are talking about me...

If only you actually experienced the things you talk about. Googling something and reading about it on the internet doesn't have the same effect as actually being there and living it.

But that's what's always bothered me about your posts. And that's why I called you out, back when you first started posting. It was clear that you were regurgitating someone else's life experiences. And you admitted that you weren't actually there when Donna Summer said things against gays.

See, I never forget when someone lies. And once I catch them, I have no respect for them or anything they have to say.

#19

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 7:00pm

So, Diva, your argument is what, that young people should remain ignorant of eras before they were born because research is a bad thing?

I'm still trying hard not to choose sides, but calling Eric a "liar" is a bit much. He was RIGHT about Donna Summer, based, yes, on research and regardless of whether his research coincided with popular memories and myths of the 1970s.

P.S. I'm going to violate a confidence here: Eric is a doctoral student at a well-known university. His research relies on the internet, yes, but hardly that alone.

Updated On: 3/28/13 at 07:00 PM

#20

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 7:22pm

Diva, you are saying what you've said before--and I can only answer the same as I have before. I have NO realy idea about how hard it must have been during that time, and never will have. I've mentioned that my "uncle," the boyfriend of the man who introduced my parents and who remains my mother's best friend had AIDS and was a major actor in the 80s here in Canada, killed himself when I was 8 but jumping off a Calgary high rise because his memory issues due brain cancer and HIV caused him so much pain--and that's when I first found out about AIDS (I already knew about homosexuality--I grew up around it.)

An experience that changed my worldview--and made me uncomfortable with the idea that I was gay, something I felt had felt since I was 6--and might die the same way (as much as from the people around me I knew that wasn't true.) My telling that story, and repeating it again, is not meant to make me seem like I must have lived with what happened, and the experiences of the time. But I am aware of it, as much as I think I could be and I think I understand it.

Why would I have been there when Donna Summer said those things? I never once said I had been there--I've always been clear I was born March 14, 1980, and have ALWAYS been clear that what I say is always my own perspective. I would never hope to speak for anyone else.

#21

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 7:26pm

I am enjoying the conversation between Diva and Eric.

Diva and Eric.

Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#22

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/28/13 at 7:31pm

Sitting in a tree?

#23

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/29/13 at 1:01am

No.

I've explained myself. My first impressions of people are rarely wrong. My mind is made up, and I'm not talking about it any more.

And I'm really tired of the couple of people on this board who always feel the need to try and explain things to me. If I need you to explain something t me, I'll ask.

"So, Diva, your argument is what, that young people should remain ignorant of eras before they were born because research is a bad thing?"

No, that's not at all what I said. Putting words into my mouth also pisses me off.

#24

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/29/13 at 4:10am

I'm sorry, Diva, I'm not trying to annoy you. But repeatedly knocking somebody for what you erroneously assume are only "google searches" does begin to sound like you are opposed to research and education.

I can't believe that is true. I've seen your work, Diva. It is too carefully researched to come from some sort of anti-inellectual point of view.

#25

Cindy Brady's Gay Dad

Posted: 3/29/13 at 11:13am

"But repeatedly knocking somebody for what you erroneously assume are only "google searches" does begin to sound like you are opposed to research and education. "

To you, obviously.

And there you go again, twisting my words and explaining what you think I mean

It's really none of your business. .

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