Crazy Subway Stories

#1

Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 9:55am

ok,
This morning I sat amidst a triumvirate of holy people and it was such a bizarre situation.
Next to me was a Muslim man reading from the Koran, across from us was a Catholic lady reading some pamphlets and a Jehovah's Witness.
Every time the Catholic lady looked over at the Muslim, she crossed herself.
I guess in the grand scheme of things this wasn't exactly a CRAZY subway story, but I thought it'd be fun to hear about other people's funny stories while on mass transit in New York or any other city.

#2

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 9:58am

Last night a drunk older man got on the train and sang Hebrew songs very loudly until he got off 9 stops later. Then a Jamaican man got on and preached loudly with a thick accent, but I was able to understand "white man," "mark of the beast," and "boils."

By the time I got off that train, I was ready to move to Santa Fe.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#3

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:04am

This morning I was chastised by a rider for opening my paper as she passed by my seat. "You could have waited to open the paper until I passed by."

The other is that the woman in front of me was laughing quietly to herself, as I exited I saw that she was reading David Sedaris.

#4

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:10am

You always know when someone is going to be begging. They pop in from another car and cry out "Excuse me, ladies and gentlmen" as everyone on the train suddenly becomes more intent on what they're doing as to better ignore them. Two days ago, however, this guy stood in the middle of the train for two or three stops spouting off absolute jibberish. He seemed to know what he was saying, but no one else did. He just went from person to person, mumbling nonsense and sticking out his hand. I can't help but wonder if he was the crazy guy who went around stabbing people that day -- as this was the C train.

And then there was the couple who thought the subway would be the perfect place to change a baby's diaper...

#5

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:11am

I don't have anything extra exciting...just that everday is really an adventure in the subway system.

On any given day, I will be preached at, asked for change/food, entertained, stepped on, pushed, yelled at...and generally asked to purchase something.

I love New York.

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Deet: Shira, I Love You!

#6

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:15am

There was a hippie couple on my train a few days ago. Perhaps I should rephrase and say more of a "Grunge and almost homeless-looking" couple. With a baby. Mommy was breast feeding although baby didn't seem to be much interested, which just left her boob hanging out for God and everybody to see. Which they did.

#7

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:16am

Oh I forgot to mention the beginning of my ride last night - or the aborted beginning - at the 6 train, the platform was completely packed as was the train that came - I was by the door and waiting for people to get out to see if there would be room for all of us, and I craned my head back to see through the window if there was room inside the car, and this big guy behind me - must have been three times my width - says to me really snidely, "If you're not getting in, then let me try." I told him I was just looking to see if there was room, but of course none of us ended up able to get on.

Sometimes it's hard to keep my mouth shut.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#8

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:16am

The subway is one of the best and worst things about NYC to me these 22 years I've lived here. A model sitting next to a hooker, next to a priest...I love that.

...and even though I dont think I've ever witnessed a diaper change on the train, I have smelled it there many times.

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#9

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:18am

A friend of mine swores he saw someone plucking a chicken on the 7 train.

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"I'm so looking forward to a time when all the Reagan Democrats are dead."

#10

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:18am

And with no babies on board, right, doodle?

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

Updated On: 6/15/06 at 10:18 AM

#11

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:26am

Correct...noone said baby diapers.

This is reminding me of another thread.

Plucking a chicken...heh! I love New York! That should be the new "I Love New York" commercial! Instead of Bway stars coming at the camera...show the freaks on the subway! That'll keep the tourists from ruining my lunch hour!

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#12

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:32am

I've only had one time where I was really freaked out by somebody on the subway. There was this one guy across from my seat who was reading a Playboy magazine. He had it wide open for everyone else to see. But he would keep looking at it, and then look at me and just nod his head up and down with a really weird smile on his face. I've grown used to people asking for money, but that really freaked me out.

#13

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:37am

I was on the subway with a blind date (an actor that my cousin Cintra had fixed me up with) heading from Times Square to the Village. He was cute, he brought me a sunflower, we were flirting, we came to our stop. I stood up, hit and cut my head on the overhead luggage rack, passed out for a moment and bled like a mofo on the floor. Later we had a lovely brunch and I never heard from him again. Nick, call me.

Updated On: 6/15/06 at 10:37 AM

#14

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:38am

Nice flirting technique.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#15

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:40am

I've griped about this before, because it drives me insane.

A mariachi band enters your subway car at 7am and proceeds to play exceedingly cheerful Mexican music VERY loudly, while a midget of a man walks around saying "battery battery" and sells keychains and batteries.

Another incident that had me laughing was when a man and a woman (both clearly in their 50s or beyond) got into an argument over space issues on a crowded train. The intellectual debate went like this:

Man: You stupid.

Woman: No, you stupid.

Man: YOU stupid.

Woman: YOU stupid!

Seriously, it lasted for like 10 minutes.

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http://preppylife.tumblr.com/

#16

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:40am

Nothing like the "Help me,, you big strong man", technique.

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Deet: Shira, I Love You!

#17

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:41am

Sympathy...hmmm...that might work in smaller towns, but not NYC, Boobs.

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#18

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:41am

I agree, Cheno. The musicians or dancers with boomboxes drive me crazy. You're just trapped there, and if you're trying to read or work, too freakin' bad.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#19

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:43am

I find it amazing how loudly you can hear some iPods many times!
I just quietly hope the person goes deaf....or def.

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#20

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:43am

Cripes Rath, haven't you learned anything yet? Start singing along with them. The loon across the aisle from you could be a Producer.

#21

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:45am

Thanks for the advice, SOMMS.

Last night I found myself envying drivers stuck in rush hour traffic. At least you're in your own car, you can listen to whatever you want or don't want, and no one is in your face.

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#22

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:47am

Plus, you know those kids selling Skittles and M&Ms aren't doing it for a class trip to "Rome, Italy."

Why is it ALWAYS Rome?

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http://preppylife.tumblr.com/

#23

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:48am

(cancels trip to Rome)

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#24

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:49am

Has anyone ever met the artist guy who rides the 1 train late at night? He sits and draws pictures of everyone sitting on the subway. Then he gives them to you and expects money. And big money. One lady tried to give him a dollar, and he walked off, pissed off, saying it was an insult.

eta: Cheno, have you noticed that they've stopped lying? They say: "I'm not selling this candy for a basketball team or anything. It's for me."

Updated On: 6/15/06 at 10:49 AM

#25

re: Crazy Subway Stories

Posted: 6/15/06 at 10:49am

The new thing with those kids lately is the shpiel about how they're not selling it for school or a basketball team but to have extra money for themselves.

The odd thing is, they're all speaking from the exact same script. That one is really puzzling. Is there some candy pimp working these kids?

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Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson