Do you still hold a flame for someone?

[I<3bway]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 2:56am

Do you still melt whenever you see or hear a person that you had a mad crush on or fell in love with so many years ago? Or it may even be just a few years or even months ago!

There was this one guy who used to be in my science class in high school, and we always talked and joked around with each other. We even went out a few times (but only as friends), but then graduation came around and he ended up moving away. I still miss him and think about him a lot. Not as often as I used to, but there's always a flicker here and there.

[KrissySim]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 3:05am

Yes.

And do you know what I've done about it? I've contacted them, sometimes out of the blue and sometimes after many years.

"Remember me? You want to know something? I was thinking about you, wondering 'what ever happened to...' so I thought I'd get in touch with you and find out..."

It's led to pleasant reunions just as old friends, it's led to some real killer sex, or just renewed friendship. It's always been a kick, because the intentions have always been friendly with no expectations. Sometimes it leads to several meetings, sometimes just one pleasant and memorable meeting. It's never been a disappointment. It depends on how you approach it, I guess.

[Chrysanthemum62001]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 3:56am

There was this guy MANY years ago. He was the most unique person I had ever met up to that point. He played in a Christian band, had wing tip shoes, and could dance. We talked for a long time, but I just had to move on. He was only interested in me as friends, and after that we lost touch but I've never been able to just let him go. It KILLS me he's still out there and I think if we ever got together it would be massive sparks, but also massive neglect. We are both very selfish, needy people. Me an actor, him a musician.
The sad thing is, I often *still* think it could happen. I don't think I'll ever stop wondering, even after ten years. How can you love someone you barely know?

[Scripps2]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 6:26am

I met someone who had started out working on a building site and then educated himself up to be a university lecturer, so he was extremely fit, attractive and intelligent - and stimulating in very different ways. We dated a few times but then he told me about a certain fetish he had, which struck me as being somewhat bizarre. So my ardour cooled rapidly.

I've never met anyone like him since and now I wonder if I was being too uptight.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 11:15am

yes. several people. some of the right here on the board. god willing i will someday use that flame to light them on fire and watch them burn to death screaming in agony as i roast marshmallows off their flaming extremities.

Updated On: 3/15/09 at 11:15 AM

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 11:16am

Love you too, buddy.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 11:18am

oh, pg. i wouldn't waste a flame on you. nor a bucket of cold piss.

[mauriposa]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 11:25am

Absolutely. I blame facebook. It makes it harder to forget a person when he/she keeps popping up on your feed.

[wonkit]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 11:29am

It's a lot easier to fall in love with someone you don't know than someone you know well. Infatuation is so simple and beautiful and unreal!

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 12:32pm

This sounds really awkward, but I used to have dreams over the summer about running into my first-ever crush... and this is weird because I was in fifth grade when I had a crush on this guy and hadn't seen him since.

Then, not long ago, I ran into the guy in real life, and he looked just like he did in my dreams. It was funny because I was on a date at the time when I ran into him. He didn't recognize me at all (I was an.... extremely unattractive kid in elementary school), but I told him who I was and we talked. It's not like I seriously like him or anything, since it's only a fifth grade crush, but I did feel a little bit tingly running into him again after six years.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 12:35pm

I blame facebook. It makes it harder to forget a person when he/she keeps popping up on your feed.

Oh GOD yes. And we put ourselves in that position by friending them, but still. I'm glad I'm not the only masochist.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 12:39pm

em, i told you, i am sorry and that i will stop making my status updates variants of "why doesn't em love me anymore because all i do is fantasize about her in the shower with a glockenspiel?" but i draw the line at stopping my "day Xx of life without em after she ripped my heart out and tossed it into the garbage disposal" note series. that's my therapy man!

Updated On: 3/15/09 at 12:39 PM

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 12:59pm

"why doesn't em love me anymore because all i do is fantasize about her in the shower with a glockenspiel?"

Haha, that's a new one!

(Or is that the fetish that turned off Scripps?)

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 1:33pm

Aww, papa, that's sweet of you. So considerate. But God, I just cannot get you out of my head!

[tazber]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 2:36pm

I definitely do.

Coincedentally I just found him on LinkedIn last week!

[zepka102]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 3:15pm

Of course I do. It wasn't the right time when there could have been something between us, but we always know we could have been great together. Still close though, even though we live a few states away.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/15/09 at 3:51pm

I've never gotten over the loss of Brendan Stryker, but there's nothing I can do about it because he's dead. Dead as a doornail.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 9:23am

My first unrequited crush was in third grade. He was a fourth grader in my class (one of those combination classes where there's not enough of either grade to form separate classes). Really nice, especially relevant at an age where most boys pulled your hair.

Skip forward to high school, where he was really smart, really good at sports and all the teachers loved him. We ran track together one season, but he was the captain and I was the girl who was out half the season with a broken tailbone.

He graduated with a full ride to a really good college. I saw him once at Costco during a college break, but didn't know what to say.

Last year I looked him up on Facebook out of morbid curiosity. Still hot. Really good job. And I'm left wondering why I couldn't have just said something back when I was 8.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 9:30am

I absolutely do not.

However, my ex fiance from 30 years ago just contacted me through fb. The nerve!

[danmag]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 10:46am

Yikes, Jane!! Facebook really is a stalker's paradise.

That being said, I have certainly tracked down many former flames on it....Upon seeing them, however, the flame quickly dies out. There's nothing like middle age to kill those old crushes.

[Taryn]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 2:16pm

I am absolutely in love with a fantastic boyfriend, but I've still got this little thing from a guy who graduated from my college who I had a bit of a fling with two years ago. After getting out of it, I realized how much we would have clashed as an actual couple, but he was the most gorgeous man I'd ever met and very talented in many, many ways if you know what I mean. But in the end, being cherished and treated with respect is leagues better.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 5:31pm

Nope. I once held a flame for someone, then he pursued me and it was heavenly for a couple of months. Then he dumped me via email while I was out of the country, which pretty much extinguished the romanticism of old flames. But if he hadn't been such a cowardly prick, I may not have met the wonderful man I have now.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 5:41pm

A friend just IMed me an IMDB photo they stumbled upon of said source of flame. Oh the Internet. The ability it gives those of us with little willpower makes it so much harder to get over someone.

Updated On: 3/16/09 at 05:41 PM

[sally1112]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 8:09pm

Oh heck yeah!! Just try to pretend things are normal, but drink in every sight and smell for time alone with my fantasies.

[killertofu333]

Posted: 3/16/09 at 9:49pm

I definitely still have an old flame that makes me melt!! Granted she had/has no idea how I felt at the time, but I still find myself comparing new prospects that I meet to her. Which is totally crazy because I literally haven't seen her in over 4 years. She's one of the reasons I haven't gotten a FB yet. Because we'll probably wind up "friending" each other, and I'll be stuck with her constant updates of her latest escapades, hook-ups and pictures with guys. AWESOME!!!!!