Family Guy Quotes- Page 2

[renthead1223]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 1:56pm

Oh I forgot about the DVD. When Stewie and Brian crash into the pub and Stewie just turns to Brian and goes, "Shhhhh." So funny.

[Di2]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 1:56pm

More Stewie!!!


#1

Stewie: Did you just forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight.

#2

Lois: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell?

#3

Stewie: You know what else is disgusting? (He farts and his right eye turns red.) Oh damn, I broke a blood vessel.

#4

(Peter is trying to potty train Stewie)
Peter: C'mon Stewie, don't you want to pee in the toilet like a big boy?
Stewie: Well, perhaps I could give it the old college try. Would you put your hands there on the toilet seat, it'll help me relax.
Peter: OK. (Slams toilet seat down on Peter's fingers.) AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Stewie: Listen you, I'll use these facilities when I'm DAMN WELL READY!!!! Until then you shall continue to sanitize my crevice and be DAMN GRATFEUL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!! Starting right . . .hmmp. . . hmmmp. . . . .hmmmmmp well then, not now, BUT SOON! (Walks off.)

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 1:59pm

I love the one where Peter goes to buy the potty training book for Stewie and tells the book seller that he's Catholic.

Book Seller Guy: Oh, then you'll want You're a Naughty Child and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You.




Am I the only one here completely in lust with Seth MacFarlane?

Updated On: 12/15/05 at 01:59 PM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 3:07pm

pfft, oh no you're definitely not the only one, SorryGrateful!!


haha and that blood vessel-popping stunt really freaked me out! i think anything having to do with the..popping of eyes creeps me the hell out. like..the entire character of that goddamn squirrel in the Ice Age movies...

- - - - -

Peter: Lois, sometimes it's appropriate to swear!
(Peter in court)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
Peter: I do........you bastard.

Host: This one is for Peter Griffin and Tony Randall.
Announcer: The password is "flaming".
Peter: You...
Tony: Actor.
Peter: You...
Tony: Tony?
Peter: You...

Peter: Because thaaat's good parenting! Isn't that right, Bing Crosby?
Bing: That's right, Peter. And remember, if the kid gives you any lip, you can beat 'em with a sack of Sweet Valencia oranges. Won't leave a bruise, and it'll let 'em know who's boss.
Peter: What..? No that doesn't sound right --
Bing: Are you giving me any lip, boy? C'mere while I..
(trails off while taking off his belt and starts to whip Peter with it)
Peter: Ahh! Ye--ahh!! C'mon, ye--ahh, get away from me, you dead crooner!
Updated On: 12/15/05 at 03:07 PM

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 3:22pm

I interrupt this thread for the following announcement:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 3:25pm

AAAHAHAHA that's priceless!!


(Just like when Peter pretended to be The Hulk by wearing and then tearing up one of Lois's sister's ex-husband's shirts :P)
"Heh heh heh heh heh, I'm Priceless!"

[katygrace84]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 3:27pm

Peter Griffin: Gee, Mr. Pewterschmidt, you could use some fine strapping young men like us on your schooner.

Carter Pewterschmidt: Are you saying I'm gay?

Peter Griffin: What? Are you sure you, you, you, you don't want more seamen on, on, on your poop deck?

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 4:32pm

This comes from one of my favorite episodes when Stewie decides to go visit Jolly Farm, it never fails to make me laugh hysterically

Stewie's Letter:
Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.


and this part

Brian: You want some ice cream?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want some McDonalds?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?
Stewie: Yeah.
Brian: Okay, let's go and take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 8:17pm

Stewie: (after being hit in the butt with a snowball) "Well, doesn't that just turn my brown eye blue!"

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 8:23pm

I can't find the exact quote, but the other line from the potty training scene, where Peter jokes that he should give Stewie beer, and Stewie suggest they light up a doobie and watch porn.

[DramaDork925]

Posted: 12/15/05 at 9:45pm

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.