Favorite Arrested Development Quotes?

[Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party]
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

Bob: I need to stay at home and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Ahh yes, the Bob Loblaw Law Blog. You sir, are a mouthful.
Narrator: As Tobias was busy getting his mouth around Bob Loblaw...

Michael: . Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

GOB: That's not my trick, Michael...
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development...
GOB: (Cont.) ...That's my ILLUSION!
Tobias: AHHH! MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL HAIR! WHY AM I NOT GOING UNDERWATER?!? DEAR GOD! WHY AM I NOT GOING UNDERWATER?!?!?!?

George, Sr.: A husband and a wife can't be convicted of the same crime.
Michael: Umm...yes they can.
George, Sr.: (Long pause) I have the WORST *bleep*-ing lawyers!

and of course...

NO TOUCHING!

Tobias starts singing New York, New York

Lucille 2: Ugh, everyone thinks they're a Frank Sinatra.

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LUCILLE: YOU'RE FIRED!
BUSTER: YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I'M YOUR SON!
LUCILLE: I WAS FIRING LUPE!
BUSTER: Ahh makes sense.


(Last lines of episode)
DOCTOR: I have some bad news: I'm....GENE PARMESEAN!
(LUCILLE screams)
LUCILLE: You got me again, Gene! I love you!
DOCTOR: Heh heh. But I did overhear...that he is bleeding internally.

GEORGE MICHAEL: Don't worry, I'll be bringing the salmon rolls soon!
GEORGE, SR.: How many times do I have to tell this kid chicken wings?!?

GOB: It's called a Forget-Me-Now. You give to someone after you tell them how to do a trick, so they don't remember. It's standard equipment for all magicians.
Tobais: GOB, this is a roofie.
Lucille: Those are illegal!
GOB: Shut-up, ma'. Don't make me give you another one of these.


GOB: I've made a huge mistake.

Marta: I've made a huge mistake.

Michael: I've made a huge mistake.

GOB: I've made a huge, little mistake.

Michael: Her?

George, Sr.: Her?

GOB: Her?

Maeby: Her?

Lucille: Her?

George, Sr.: There's always money in the banana stand.

Michael: It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face.

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Updated On: 12/30/05 at 01:32 AM

Tobias: With my new hair, I can start auditioning for "leading Man" roles. I can't wait to get my hands on some big, meaty, leading man parts.

Narrator: I want to make it clear that NO ONE here is making fun of Andy Griffith.

I loved when they had the disclosure that Rita had MAJOR plastic surgery...then they cut to a "before" pic of her and it's Charlize as Aileen Wurnous in Monster.

And my all time fave:

Analrapist

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In response to ReederWI's joke:

Narrator: Motherboy was also the name of heavy metal band that used to rock pretty hard back in the '70s. [really fast} We are legally obligated to make that distinction.


George, Sr.: There's this British place just outside the O.C. -
Michael: Don't call it that.

GOB: This is the spot where more bananas are sold than any other spot in the O.C.
Michael: Don't call it that.

Lucille 2: GOB, read the menu to me.
GOB: Fried cheese...with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp...with club sauce. Chicken fingers...with spicey club sauce.

Lucille 2: You were ashamed to be with me today.
GOB: I wasn't ashamed to be with you, I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
Lucille 2: You have no backbone.
GOB: That's not true, I... wait, I think I hear my mother. [whispers}That's not true.

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I loved that Bond-esque “For British Eyes Only” musical cue that popped up in all the Little Britain scenes this season.

"What a fun, sexy time for you."

Ann: Okay Mrs. Fingerbottom.

Tobias: No, no it FEATHERbottom.

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TOBIAS: You must always read the label/You must always read it well/In the most delicious waaaaaaaaaay!

TOBIAS: Even if it means taking a chubby, I WILL SUCK IT UP!