Favorite Arrested Development Quotes?

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:37am

[Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party]
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

Bob: I need to stay at home and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Ahh yes, the Bob Loblaw Law Blog. You sir, are a mouthful.
Narrator: As Tobias was busy getting his mouth around Bob Loblaw...

Michael: . Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

GOB: That's not my trick, Michael...
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development...
GOB: (Cont.) ...That's my ILLUSION!
Tobias: AHHH! MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL HAIR! WHY AM I NOT GOING UNDERWATER?!? DEAR GOD! WHY AM I NOT GOING UNDERWATER?!?!?!?

George, Sr.: A husband and a wife can't be convicted of the same crime.
Michael: Umm...yes they can.
George, Sr.: (Long pause) I have the WORST *bleep*-ing lawyers!

and of course...

NO TOUCHING!

[Link Larkin Wanabe]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:42am

Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question and I refuse to answer it.

Akiva

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:51am

Tobias starts singing New York, New York

Lucille 2: Ugh, everyone thinks they're a Frank Sinatra.

[YayJudyYayJudy]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:01am

HAS ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY EVER SEEN A CHICKEN!?
- MICHAEL

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:08am

LUCILLE: YOU'RE FIRED!
BUSTER: YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I'M YOUR SON!
LUCILLE: I WAS FIRING LUPE!
BUSTER: Ahh makes sense.


(Last lines of episode)
DOCTOR: I have some bad news: I'm....GENE PARMESEAN!
(LUCILLE screams)
LUCILLE: You got me again, Gene! I love you!
DOCTOR: Heh heh. But I did overhear...that he is bleeding internally.

[jam_man]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:11am

Wow, the thread I was born to post on!

George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic.

J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

Tobias: What are you doing here?
George, Sr: I'm having a f**king tea party - what's it look like?

GOB: ...and if I'm going to be staying here...
Lucille: What, did that Mexican throw you out?
GOB: She's not "that Mexican," she's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something.

George, Sr.: Daddy horney, Michael.

Buster: Hey, Hermano.

Maeby: Why are we even going after this idiot demographic?

Lucille: You're high!!!
Oscar: You're drunk!!!



Don't worry - I'll have some more later!

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 01:11 AM

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:14am

GEORGE MICHAEL: Don't worry, I'll be bringing the salmon rolls soon!
GEORGE, SR.: How many times do I have to tell this kid chicken wings?!?

[jam_man]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:28am

Lady 1: Where is God?
Lady 2: THERE IS NO GOD!!!

Tobias: Excuse me, do these effectivly hide my thunder?

Barry: Those are balls.

Michael: There's a big bowl of candy in my office, I want you to have some, mom.
Wayne Jarvis: Wayne Jarvis - attorney, ma'am, I must inform you that there is no candy in this room.

Lucille: They're not going to let you into the country club with that.
Buster: [as Franklin]I don't want no part a yo' tight-ass country club, ya' freak bitch!

[jam_man]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 1:32am

GOB: It's called a Forget-Me-Now. You give to someone after you tell them how to do a trick, so they don't remember. It's standard equipment for all magicians.
Tobais: GOB, this is a roofie.
Lucille: Those are illegal!
GOB: Shut-up, ma'. Don't make me give you another one of these.


GOB: I've made a huge mistake.

Marta: I've made a huge mistake.

Michael: I've made a huge mistake.

GOB: I've made a huge, little mistake.

Michael: Her?

George, Sr.: Her?

GOB: Her?

Maeby: Her?

Lucille: Her?

George, Sr.: There's always money in the banana stand.

Michael: It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face.

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 01:32 AM

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 4:44am

STEVE HOLT: I won't forget you, Dad!
GOB: I will, son. I will.

[Jon]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 9:39am

Tobias: With my new hair, I can start auditioning for "leading Man" roles. I can't wait to get my hands on some big, meaty, leading man parts.

Narrator: I want to make it clear that NO ONE here is making fun of Andy Griffith.

[ReederWI]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:19am

My favorite Arrested Development quote: "Tennessee"...or wait, was that a song title? hehe

[Jimmcf]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 11:28am

I loved when they had the disclosure that Rita had MAJOR plastic surgery...then they cut to a "before" pic of her and it's Charlize as Aileen Wurnous in Monster.

And my all time fave:

Analrapist

[jarretSF]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 12:03pm

Barry(About to be shown a supposedly incriminating pic of Michael): Are you sure, because last time we were here they were balls?

Barry (Later after seeing the picture): I wish they were balls.

Lucille: Look what they've done, Michael, Look what the homosexuals have done!

Michael: Her?

Anything involving the Cornballer makes me laugh uncontrollably. I don't know why.

[jam_man]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 2:01pm

In response to ReederWI's joke:

Narrator: Motherboy was also the name of heavy metal band that used to rock pretty hard back in the '70s. [really fast} We are legally obligated to make that distinction.


George, Sr.: There's this British place just outside the O.C. -
Michael: Don't call it that.

GOB: This is the spot where more bananas are sold than any other spot in the O.C.
Michael: Don't call it that.

Lucille 2: GOB, read the menu to me.
GOB: Fried cheese...with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp...with club sauce. Chicken fingers...with spicey club sauce.

Lucille 2: You were ashamed to be with me today.
GOB: I wasn't ashamed to be with you, I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
Lucille 2: You have no backbone.
GOB: That's not true, I... wait, I think I hear my mother. [whispers}That's not true.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 2:21pm

What about:

GOB: GO HOME YA TERRORIST! DID YOU MAKE THAT VIDEO IN A CAVE?!?

after the Indian guy's campaign video played.

[NCGuy]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 2:41pm

I loved that Bond-esque “For British Eyes Only” musical cue that popped up in all the Little Britain scenes this season.

[Jon]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 4:19pm

Of course, the follow-up episode was also a take off of a Bond title - "Nota****". (the baord has censored this synonym for "kitty" that starts with a "P")

Also from the Little Britain episode:

Narrator: Just then, Michael was struck by something from his past...
(a Mary Poppins doll flies in on a wire and hits Michael on the head)
Updated On: 12/30/05 at 04:19 PM

[NCGuy]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 4:37pm

"What a fun, sexy time for you."

[Yankeefan007]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 5:22pm

Maeby: Marry me!

George-Michael: ....my girlfriend, Ann.
Michael: Who?

Maeby: Bland.

[shermanslave]

Posted: 12/30/05 at 7:21pm

Ann: Okay Mrs. Fingerbottom.

Tobias: No, no it FEATHERbottom.

[jam_man]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 1:25am

Ann: You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular fleash.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 2:36am

TOBIAS: You must always read the label/You must always read it well/In the most delicious waaaaaaaaaay!

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 2:48am

GOB: Moms are such a pain in the ass, it's like "Die already!"

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 12/31/05 at 2:57am

TOBIAS: Even if it means taking a chubby, I WILL SUCK IT UP!