Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

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Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 10:46am

This video needs to be shared with anyone you know who is against gay marriage. Its hard to sit through but it really is important!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM

'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 11:08am

I've watched the video and passed on the link.
God help Tom's parents, they'll need it when they pass over; bigots.

All problems are man made and so, can be man solved.

Updated On: 5/8/12 at 11:08 AM

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 2:52pm

Absolutely devastating.

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 3:08pm

I've just started the book My Two Moms by Zach Wahls. Zach is the Iowa college student who testified before the state legislature last year in support of marriage equality. Zach's testimony was based on his upbringing by a lesbian couple. Even though I'm only 40 or so pages into the book, I'd already recommend it. He's a very impressive young man; check out his appearance on The Daily Show.
Wahls

"It does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are 20 gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg." -- Thomas Jefferson

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 3:16pm

I LOVE Zach Wahls. I hope he gets into politics. We sure do need someone like him!

'There are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each one differently' -Robert Evans-

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 4:35pm

This is heartbreaking and i'm very glad Shane is sharing this private story with the world.

Unfortunately, I saw alot of this kind of thing during the AIDS crisis here in NYC in the 80s and 90s. Bigoted families stole so much from longtime partners of those I saw die. People lost their loved one over and over, and also houses, pensions, etc.

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Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 4:41pm

Yes dood, it happened a lot. Yet there were some wonderful stories of Mom's coming to St Vincents to see their dying sons and being amazed at the wonderful friends they had had in the Gay community! I actually met one such mom, whom I took to an AA meeting and had dinner with afterward. She was thrilled that her son had such a strong network of friends and a long time lover. She was upset however that he felt the need to keep it a secret from her, robbing her of knowing how wonderful his life was.

Those Blocked: SueStorm. N2N Nate. Good riddence to stupid! Rad-Z, shill begone!

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 5:22pm

And why would he keep it from her?

The only reason to keep it from a family memeber is because that family memeber has made it clear that they do not support being gay.

I'm sure if the son had felt he could have shared it with his mother, he would have.

"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 6:26pm

I don't think that's necessarily true, sometimes I think people keep it from their parents because they are unsure about how they'd react - and that could be a product of society not their parents.

Give me claws and a hunch, just away from this bunch.

Updated On: 5/8/12 at 06:26 PM

#10

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 6:49pm

Are you saying that they are more worried about what society would say, rather than their parents? Because I have a hard time believing that.

#11

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 6:54pm

I can see that happening. I know LOTS of people that were MOST worried about parent's reactions.

If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.

#12

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 7:06pm

Well, yes, because you only have one mother and father...

As far as society goes, you can always make new friends.

#13

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 7:10pm

"Are you saying that they are more worried about what society would say, rather than their parents? Because I have a hard time believing that."

No, I'm saying they don't know what their parents will think (rather than knowing they are going to respond poorly). And the reason they don't know what their parents will think about it is because through socialisation they know that homosexuality is frowned upon (or condemned). Unless parents explicitly say "It's ok to be gay" you can never be sure..

At least, this was my experience...so my point is that you can't just blame the parents if people don't want to come out to them.

Give me claws and a hunch, just away from this bunch.

Updated On: 5/8/12 at 07:10 PM

#14

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 7:10pm

I dunno, I have known people who felt they couldn't tell their parents (and yes internalized homoiphobia probably plays a part), but admitted their parents never casually made gay slurs or anything, they just were still too scared to tell their parents, who did react positively in the end. It's a complicated issue.

#15

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 7:11pm

Exactly.

Give me claws and a hunch, just away from this bunch.

#16

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 7:22pm

I don't blame the parents.

I just wonder why some people feel they can not speak with their parents, unless their parents have made it clear they are not comfortable with it.

#17

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/8/12 at 7:54pm

It's not something that really makes any rational sense but when has homophobia (internalized or non) made rational sense.

#18

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/11/12 at 11:06pm

I have never discussed my homosexuality with my parents. Never came out to them. My mom came to my lover's memorial service. No questions were asked. No answere offered. I never felt comfortable talking to them about it.

Those Blocked: SueStorm. N2N Nate. Good riddence to stupid! Rad-Z, shill begone!

#19

Gay Man Marks Anniversary of Longtime Boyfriends Death with Devastating Account of Whats Happened Since

Posted: 5/12/12 at 2:16am

This video breaks my heart all over again. I lost the man I was planning on spending the rest of my life with six years ago and know that pain. I'm just thankful that his family was supportive of our relationship so I did not have to add that grief on top of what was an already insurmountable amount of grief.

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