Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave you?
Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave you?
#0Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave you?
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:43amHave you ever seen someone's disregard for you in a gift?
DG
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/05
#1re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave you?
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:44amNot disregard, per se, but I have been amazed sometimes at what somebody thinks I might like or enjoy. It gives me a little insight into a disconnect that may exist between us.
#2re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:44amExpected diamonds and it was only pearls?
#3re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:46am
no honey. gum. and tea. but it's more complicated than that -- of course it is.
ps. i might be the only diva west of alpha centaury that prefers pearls.
#4re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:46am
I've never been disappointed with a gift. If I didn't like it, I donate it.
As you get older garland, you will find that most of what you really want, you buy yourself anyway........
#5re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:48amDG, that's exactly what I was going to say. I've learned based on a gift that someone doesn't understand me at all, which while not as bad as showing disregard, is still disappointing.
#6re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:48amit wasn't about what i wanted, it was about someone forgetting me. it only confirmed what i suspected anyway. objects aren't that important to me.
#7re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:48am
Yes, exactly DG.
Have you ever been less than graceful in acceptance of the gift?
#8re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:49amElphaba, GG is not that much younger than you. Don't assume.
#9re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave you?
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:51am
OMG- I can't believe you started this thread-I have the exact situation here! I was just telling another friend about it. Here's what happened-I was best friends with this girl who lives across the street. We did our first off broadway show together, and we got along famously. We stayed friends for years. Then, one Christsmas, we exchanged gifts. I have to preface this with the fact that when it came to people who couldn't care less about her, she was very meticulous about what she gave them for christmas and labored over the right gift, asking my advice.
OK, I go to open my gift from her. I was alone in my apartment. It was in a Century 21 box. It was a long sleeved top. The color was faded halfway through the garment. the underarms smelled like BO, and there were threads pulled throughout the top.
I tried not to let it bother me but the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I started to feel angry, not because of lack of money spent, but because the lack of consideration for how much I cared about her, while she bought fabulous presents for men who she liked but didn't like her, etc.
I finally said something to her. I think I wrote it in a letter. Maybe that was my mistake. She didn't fight with me, I think she said something like she didn't know, etc. We kept speaking and being friends, but the friendship slowly dissipated and we don't speak at all anymore.
DG
Broadway Legend Joined: 11/2/05
#10re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:52am
Glebb - I hope they haven't perceived it as such. I have an unfortunate tendency to be completely readable when it comes to my emotional response to things, and I wouldn't be surprised if - despite what I might say or do - they could have discerned some measure of distancing occurring. And that makes me a little sad to think about, actually. I'm usually so touched that the thought even occurred to them, that the actuality of the gift takes a back-seat.
Updated On: 2/17/06 at 10:52 AM
#11re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:53am
i took my gum and tea home. and the other one of our friends received a sacred object that had been blessed in a place sacred to all of us and i had to hear the story of what a mindblowing experience it was three separate times.
i am never less than gracious. i have always tried to behave with aplomb like jackie onassis in every situation.
Mamie
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/26/04
#12re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:54amI know exactly what you mean. I've always been an animal activist and one of my pet peeves concerns the wearing of animal skins for vanity reasons. (If you're freezing and nothing else is available - go for it. But we have choices!) Anyway, a guy I had been with for over a year and was engaged to be married, gave me a rabbit fur coat. I sat down and cried. Not for all the dead rabbits. For realizing for the first time that he hadn't heard a word I'd said over the last year.
A click for life.
mamie4 5/14/03
#13re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:54am
eek...than I apologise Garland, and Rath.........
DG, I agree completely. I have a knack for being able to choose the perfect gift for anyone I know......I can be in a store in June and something jumps out at me and screams 'TERRI", my sister....or 'Dad"......
This terrified my ex as he felt that I'd like nothing he ever got me....and truth be told I rarely did, as he faced selecting gifts as a chore....although I never showed dislike.
In 8 years Steve is really getting good at getting me gifts.....
but again, I truly think that the things I REALLY wanted, I've bought myself
#14re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 10:59am
I have a closet full of things that the woman who pushed me through her "hoo hoo" has given me. Anyone need a Garfield Chia Pet?
My former partner, George (four year relationship) regifts me something every year. I have handwritten thank you notes from him extolling his appreciation and sincere thanks for the heartfelt and knowledgeable gifts that I have selected for him. Hell, half his house and his wardrobe is stuff I gave him. Last year he gave me a freeze dried Salmon and some wine charms from the dollar store.
#15re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:00amLOL! One of the funniest posts in a while!
#16re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:04am
"but again, I truly think that the things I REALLY wanted, I've bought myself"
Did you read her post? "and the other one of our friends received a sacred object that had been blessed in a place sacred to all of us"
She's not talking about something she could go pick up for herself at her local Target.
#17re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:05am
i know people are gonna use this as further evidence that i am shallow and horrible, but...
picture it, college, 1996 - i had been seeing someone for a couple of months so for xmas i scrimped and i saved and i worked extra hours at my low paying university job to buy him a Fossil watch at Macy's, dont ask me why - i just thought he would like it. he gave me, a wooden bottle puzzle. i was very pissed, but got the point he was trying to make. the last time i saw him i thought about stealing that watch back, but never did.
#18re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:09amTarget? what's Target?
#19re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:10am
Gum and tea? What kind of lousy rotten stinking friend gives you gum and tea? I say, return it--with a note scribbled in lipstick saying RETURN TO SENDER: UNWANTED.
#20re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:16am
oh no, i would never do such a thing. but there have been many times i've let my phone go to voicemail. and i sent her a beautiful book for christmas from my partner and i because i am a classy broad. but access to me, my apartment and my world is restricted.
Gorgeous Book
#21re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:24am
Target? what's Target?
it's where Tonya Harding got her skating outfits.
#22re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:25am... and works as a security guard.
#23re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:32amI got a tube of used lipstick once. That went in the trash VERY quickly.
#24re: Has your relationship with someone changed because of a gift they gave
Posted: 2/17/06 at 11:38amok to be more the point -- a mutual pal of ours told me she asked this person, "please bring our friend a special thing for her birthday and i will pay for half of it." they said yeah yeah yeah. they didn't. no explaination. dentyne in a pack with writing in an asian alphabet and a box of tea were handed to me. i really don't drink tea.
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