#1
Posted: 5/4/08 at 12:09am
So there's this guy who works at my restaurant. He was recently re-hired. I've been working there for about a year now and I'd heard stories about him from employees who've been there a while. He was fired a while back for making a homophobic remark to a fellow employee who happened to be gay. The two of them got into a yelling match and both were let go.
He was hired back to the restaurant (Don't ask me why) about two to three months ago. Since he started he'd been decent to me. He's treated me nicely and I couldn't believe this was the monster kid people had told me about.
Now, I'm gay. Everyone at work knows. I do my best to just be one of the other workers. I try to fight stereotypes and not stand out as the "gay guy" at work. I can talk to the guys about sports and the girls about their boyfriends. I just try to be treated the same as others...no better, no worse.
When this guy was re-hired he obviously found out from someone that I was gay. Now, my closest friends are more than welcome to kid around with me. I have a sense of humor about it and I like to joke around as well. But, only the people with whom I have a relationship with outside of work are the ones who will joke around with me about my orientation.
This kid came back and he's your typical meathead jock who spends his life lifting weights and "banging chicks." Apparently he felt that since some people at work were able to joke around with me about being gay...that he had license to as well.
Well, he really wasn't saying anything offensive to me so I looked past it. Until this past week. About a week ago when he was at work he pretty much came right up to me and called me a "peter puffer" to my face. He didn't say it threateningly. He said it while laughing so I took it as he's just a dumbass and thinks he's joking around.
I'm not a complainer. I don't rat people out. I let it slide the first time and tried to get past it. Then tonight happened.
Tonight, when I was tossing something into the garbage, a girl co-worker was joking around with me after what I threw didn't go into the garbage can. She said something along the lines of "Well, you know you didn't get it in because of how you are." I laughed. Then, this kid comes up behind her and (laughing again) says "Can't get it in? I know a guy who can vouch for him."
It was at this moment I felt very disrespected. It's one thing to joke around with someone you've known for a while and are comfortable with. It's a whole other situation when you don't know me and don't have a relationship with me outside of work.
I was told by a fellow co-worker that after the "peter puffer" comment, she took it into her own hands to report to the owner what he'd said to me. Apparently the owner's response was that she was "disappointed."
Tonight, after what had happened, I decided to approach my manager and let her know about my feelings. I didn't talk trash about the kid. I didn't say anything back to him after he said what he said. I just wanted to make my manager aware of my feelings and that I felt disrespected.
She was very understanding and told me she'd speak to him about it.
So...the question is...was it homophobia or am I overreacting?
He was hired back to the restaurant (Don't ask me why) about two to three months ago. Since he started he'd been decent to me. He's treated me nicely and I couldn't believe this was the monster kid people had told me about.
Now, I'm gay. Everyone at work knows. I do my best to just be one of the other workers. I try to fight stereotypes and not stand out as the "gay guy" at work. I can talk to the guys about sports and the girls about their boyfriends. I just try to be treated the same as others...no better, no worse.
When this guy was re-hired he obviously found out from someone that I was gay. Now, my closest friends are more than welcome to kid around with me. I have a sense of humor about it and I like to joke around as well. But, only the people with whom I have a relationship with outside of work are the ones who will joke around with me about my orientation.
This kid came back and he's your typical meathead jock who spends his life lifting weights and "banging chicks." Apparently he felt that since some people at work were able to joke around with me about being gay...that he had license to as well.
Well, he really wasn't saying anything offensive to me so I looked past it. Until this past week. About a week ago when he was at work he pretty much came right up to me and called me a "peter puffer" to my face. He didn't say it threateningly. He said it while laughing so I took it as he's just a dumbass and thinks he's joking around.
I'm not a complainer. I don't rat people out. I let it slide the first time and tried to get past it. Then tonight happened.
Tonight, when I was tossing something into the garbage, a girl co-worker was joking around with me after what I threw didn't go into the garbage can. She said something along the lines of "Well, you know you didn't get it in because of how you are." I laughed. Then, this kid comes up behind her and (laughing again) says "Can't get it in? I know a guy who can vouch for him."
It was at this moment I felt very disrespected. It's one thing to joke around with someone you've known for a while and are comfortable with. It's a whole other situation when you don't know me and don't have a relationship with me outside of work.
I was told by a fellow co-worker that after the "peter puffer" comment, she took it into her own hands to report to the owner what he'd said to me. Apparently the owner's response was that she was "disappointed."
Tonight, after what had happened, I decided to approach my manager and let her know about my feelings. I didn't talk trash about the kid. I didn't say anything back to him after he said what he said. I just wanted to make my manager aware of my feelings and that I felt disrespected.
She was very understanding and told me she'd speak to him about it.
So...the question is...was it homophobia or am I overreacting?
