How to get my mind off my ex. — Page 2

It will take time but the pain will subside and you will meet other people. As sucky as it is, this is kind of an initiation to adulthood. Every person goes through it and survives. In time, hopefully you can look back and just be thankful that no matter how it ended you were able to experience that intense love for another person.

---

OK now I'm curious- how were you not "the perfect boyfriend"? Did you cheat?

As others have said, you will get over it, you will move on. I can't tell you for how long and what exactly you should be doing as you try to figure everything out, but know that you never walk alone. A lot of us have gone through what you've been through (save for the whole parental discouragement towards marriage, perhaps).

Religion can definitely be a strain on relationships. My boyfriend is pretty open to me becoming Bahai but doesn't want it to entirely change the girl he fell in love with and still loves. I can't say that I blame him. In this case, it seems as though that making the conversion to her faith wouldn't have made a difference to her parents.

---

Well, I won't purport to speak for anyone else, but I think your posts in this thread drip with melodrama (not just regular drama), from beginning to end, and your use of hyperbolic speech only highlights that for me. For instance, Tink talks in a lovely way about you in time being thankful for having felt intense love, and right away you respond about not being able to hate your girlfriend. Where does that even come from, other than a place of pure melodrama. And what about "In a situation like ours there of course would be some form of drama." (More pure melodrama - as if you're saying that your struggles were inherently more difficult than everyone else's). I believe that you are sincere in your pain, but I feel like I'm reading dialog from a bad soap opera or a film like Endless Love, and that you've confused what happens in real life with what happens on the stage and screen.

---

Oh god, is this going to be one of those threads where the OP asks for advice, then gets pissy when someone says something he doesn't like?

---

tazzy - isn't that an unwritten law for posting on BWW?

---

Touche my love, touche.

---

Mike if you were a buddy of mine you'd get one night of drinking and a lap dance. Then it's time to move on.

The problem with situations like this is there is no good solution. So you ask for help, people offer it and the ONLY thing you can say is "That won't work because...." That's not YOUR fault or anyone elses- it's a problem without a solution. You love a girl you can't be with? Damn man that sucks.

OK we done here?

Sometimes it just takes time. When I broke up with my ex, I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying for a week (I had to sneak into the storage closet at work), I was sad for a month, and then one day, I just woke up and was like, "Whoa. I'm happy." I didn't do anything, I just waited it out. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it took over a year before I could seriously date anyone again, and I still have issues that my current boyfriend has been way too understanding about (it will be 2 years next month). But I eventually got over it, and eventually, you will, too. Eventually.

---

I didnt ask for anything more than that.

Welcome to the Internet.

---

Going out for walks helps too. That wasn't meant to be sarcastic. It actually does help to get out of the house.

Also, going to see a show. One day I was feeling extremely blue and was sulking in my room. My mom took me to see Singin' in the Rain and that put me in such a positve frame of mind. Silly as it sounds, it was just the boost of positivity I needed.

---

Clearly, you are not ready to get her off your mind; especially with the kinds of posts you are writing.

"But I can 100 percent say that I love her more than myself. I am a sort of selfish person (if I could I would live for ever) but the fact that I would put my own life on the line to save hers (if I had too) proves that. I wouldn't do that for anybody else in this world so that statment coming from me is a lot."

Talk about obsessive!! As hard as it is, people have gone through a heck of a lot worse than that!! In the whole scheme of life, this is trivial. Trust me. There were several times that things have happened to me in which I swore I could never possibly move on. Some of them, I think about daily (my friend killing herself). Do I dwell on it and say "Oh woe is me"? No. I let it go through my mind, and move on. Something else happened that I thought for sure life couldn't go on; 6 years later I laugh about it and how ridiculous I reacted, but at that moment, nothing could have been worse.

Time heals. Worse things have happened to others. Worse things will likely happen to your through the course of your life. (That's not a bad thing either, it's part of life.)

Hope that made sense, gotta go to dinner!

---

Updated On: 9/21/09 at 05:36 PM