I Enjoy Being A Girl- Page 65

[clever name]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 2:25pm

Has it only been a week? LOL!!! you're right tofu, that IS forever in girl time. Where is she??

[Shannon Bo Dannon]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 2:33pm

I had school today too..so sad.

[justagirl2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 3:59pm

Hey girls! This might be a mood-killer, but I've been thinking about something.

One of my friends stupidly decided to go to a party by herself on Valentine's Day (I was out of state...if I wasn't, I assume none of this would have happened). She ended getting incredibly drunk and blacked out. She woke up in this guy's room (who we knew before this party, but she never expressed interest in), and they eventually had sex. The problem is, this guy was sober when my friend was blatantly trashed. She's a little freaked out right now, but is blaming herself because she never said no (actually reminded him to use protection), and so, in a way, she consented.

But it seems really date-rapey to me...if he wasn't drunk, shouldn't he know that you never take advantage of a girl who is obviously not in the right mind to give actual consent? This is something both she and I know would never happen if she wasn't intoxicated. What a dick move on his part. I'm so pissed at the whole situation.

ANYWAY, how's everyone today, aside from having school? I did too, and I'm also very unhappy about it.

[killertofu333]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:23pm

Wow JAG!!! I honestly can't believe how pissed I am to hear that about your friend. I'm really truly sorry this happened to her. In my mind is a man IS NOT a man if he so obviously takes advantage of someone who's even mildly incapacitated. I swear to god I'd cut IT off if I came across him again!! Do you guys have a big enough circle of friends to party in pairs? I really hope you're not blaming yourself for this. Even if you were in town at the time, you can't blame yourself for what this sorry excuse for a "man" did to your friend.

For what it's worth I hope she'll be alright soon and be able to feel safe again.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:34pm

Yeah, technically what he did wasn't illegal, but a TOTAL DICK move. I agree with tofu, he's not a man if he would take advantage of her like that. I hope she's ok.......

[justagirl2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:34pm

It was one of those nights were a million different parties were going on, so everyone was all over campus at different places. We know a lot of the people who were there, so I want to know why no one noticed what was going on? Yeah, provided I see him again, I'm going to shove my foot so far up his ass he'll need the jaws of life to get it back out.

Oh, did I mention she was a virgin before all this? Yeahhh. And this guy isn't vaguely cute.

Thanks though, tofu. My friend thought me and the other friend she told were overreacting--as I said, she's kind of blaming herself. Her thought is she knew what was going to happen, and was so drunk that she just didn't care...which I interpret as "I didn't really want to do it, but I'll feel bad if I make it his fault." I know this girl, and if she were sober, she would NOT have done it.

I really appreciate your sentiment (and I'm sure she would, too). God, I'm a fun-killer, aren't I? I just needed to vent!

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:37pm

Luscious, my dress is an 8.....it's pretty though. It V's in front and back, and the top part is all beaded with these cool bugle beads, and then the bottom is mermaid style.

[KrissySim]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:42pm

I don't blame you justagirl2. He's the kind of guy who'll brag about his conquests like he's some irresistible ladies' man. A real lover. Someone needs to put him in his place.

[killertofu333]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:45pm

Oh, did I mention she was a virgin before all this? Yeahhh. And this guy isn't vaguely cute.

What the hell?! OMG, you seriously need to go kick his ass...like this minute!! Then while he's telling his story of how he had sex with your virginal, clearly inebriated friend, he'll also have to tell them how his testicle retrieval operation went!!

Updated On: 2/16/09 at 04:45 PM

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:46pm

Oh sh*t, jag. She was a virgin on top of it all?

[justagirl2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:48pm

LOL, tofu. I like the sound of that...

Yep, virgin. She's no prude, but she always told me that she wanted to be in a relationship before taking that step. Sucks that she has such a ****ty story about her first time now.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 4:56pm

Total suckage.

[justagirl2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:03pm

Happy topic: Stockard, should I take up spinning? I need to look super hot in a month, and I'm debating between yoga/pilates (which I usually resort to), or something new like spinning. Will that give me quick results, or is it more of a stamina type thing?

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:10pm

jag, you should add the spinning! But still do the yoga/pilates. Spinning is an amazing cardio workout though - I sweat my @$$ off!

MMM....my mom bought some pomegranate liqueur and we are having it mixed with club soda and a wedge of lime. It's delish.

[justagirl2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:16pm

OK! I think if I start taking some of my classes late at night, I should have time to throw in both. My only other option at this point is to develop a hardcore heroin/cocaine habit, and I just don't have enough money for that!

Oh, that sounds delicious. I had about 8 amazing pomegranate martinis over the weekend...soooo good.

[killertofu333]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:17pm

Stockard that sounds really good!!! My grandmother wants me to try Brass Monkey with her tonight...but I have this strict policy of not drinking anything even remotely alcoholic with anyone who's 69 years old. She's liable to let anything slip out. OMG if she tells me I'm adopted I'm gonna freak!!!

My only other option at this point is to develop a hardcore heroin/cocaine habit, and I just don't have enough money for that!

Well Jag, if your standards aren't too high, you can speak with a French accent and wear a maid's outfit with garters and nylons...I know a guy, who know's a guy

Updated On: 2/16/09 at 05:17 PM

[lusciouslace]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:24pm

Stockard- The dress sounds great and so does the drink! :)

jag- I'm so sorry that happened to your friend. My friends and I often talked about the whole issue of whether things are consensual when you say no a couple times but don't actually physical push the guy off of you. I feel like I shouldn't have to say no more than once, but I've definitely had it happen before when I've said no numerous times but I guess sort of gave in at the end? Like I shouldn't have to push him off of me. This has happened to several of my friends and myself.

As for your friend...he's definitely a dick for doing that. But unfortunately there are a lot of guys out there that don't realize that it's completely inappropriate and terrible to take advantage of a girl when she's incapacitated. It really sucks that she was a virgin, too.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:26pm

jag, I didn't mean do both classes on the same day, just alternate silly!

[killertofu333]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:36pm

Aww Luscious, I'm really sorry that you went through something similar, on several occasions no less

A friend and I were talking about a similar subject ages ago and she said in so many words (if I remember correctly): "Men don't understand that no means NO until they've been convicted by a jury. Even then they don't get it until THEY'RE the ones saying "NO" to Bruno in their jail cell."

Updated On: 2/16/09 at 05:36 PM

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:40pm

Oh, did I mention she was a virgin before all this? Yeahhh. And this guy isn't vaguely cute.

Oh my gosh, JAG, that is really, really awful. I hope she kicks him in a sensitive spot next time HE'S drunk.

My college visit was cool, but I can't really compare it against anything because it was my first time on campus. The only big problem is that all of the buildings are brick and look alike, so it might be easy to get lost! (Since I, uh, still get lost at my high school sometimes...)Sadly, the dining hall was closed by the time I got lunch, so I had to make due with a veggie burger and jell-o from the food court!

Schmerg, everyone I know that went to Christopher Newport ended up dropping out. Don't go there!

Whoa! Really? Did any of them say what they didn't like about it?

And yeah, I really AM wondering about danmag. I hope she's okay!

[justagirl2]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:40pm

tofu, I'm half French. The accent comes naturally. Besides, I think we've all established in this thread that my standards are anything but high! I'm IN!

Stockard, I know, LOL, but because I have classes and other crap to do all day, and the yoga and spinning classes are at different (and ridiculously weird) times, I have to rearrange some stuff. No way in hell would I do both in one day. I'm far too lazy for all that.

luscious, thanks. I appreciate it. I'm sorry similar things have happened to you and your friends, too...the line gets blurred so easily and can mess things up before you even realize what's happening. I feel sort of bad, like I can't really relate to her because my experiences have all been pretty cut and dry...not to mention my first time was totally awesome. LOL. But I know this kind of thing unfortunately happens all the time.

[KrissySim]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 5:52pm

"My friends and I often talked about the whole issue of whether things are consensual when you say no a couple times but don't actually physical push the guy off of you. I feel like I shouldn't have to say no more than once, but I've definitely had it happen before when I've said no numerous times but I guess sort of gave in at the end? Like I shouldn't have to push him off of me. This has happened to several of my friends and myself."

I know what you mean, but I think letting them know you are serious is important. "I'm serious, the answer is no!"

If they persist, well. I'm licensed to carry a concealed weapon where I'm living now. It's a result of being assaulted once in Seattle. Not raped, but assaulted. I was shopping at a store one evening and my friend went out to get the car while I was paying for things. It took her longer than expected. I was waiting on the street when a crazed looking man came up and threw me against the building, screaming "You ****ing whore, I'll beat the **** out of you whore. Get off the ****ing street you whore..." The salespeople in the store saw what happened and immediately called the police and when they came out to assist me the man ran away. I got in a car with a female police officer and we tried to locate the guy. There were several cars looking actually. We didn't find him, though.

But I do carry a small .38 special and I'm not afraid to use it.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 6:21pm

Schmerg, it's not so much that they didn't like it, it's just that it's a pretty big party school so they got caught up in that and either dropped out or flunked out.

It used to be a community college, so I always associate it as that kind of a school, even though that's not fair probably.

[Cruel_Sandwich]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 6:24pm

White people. Black people. Who are we to judge?

Chinese people. Germans. Who now wants some fudge?

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 2/16/09 at 6:25pm

Krissy, that sounds horribly terrifying!

Schmerg, it's not so much that they didn't like it, it's just that it's a pretty big party school so they got caught up in that and either dropped out or flunked out.
Oh, wow, I never knew that. I mean, that's not my kind of scene, but it's not fun to be the only sober person when everyone's drunk-- it just makes them seem twice as stupid. The main thing I know about is that I've heard really good things about the performing arts department and that it's possible to get a concentration in creative writing.